Which team you on?

https://deadspin.com/sitters-vs-stander ... pe-5424415

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

I remember having a heated discussion with my business partner who insisted that proper form was a "low hover". That partner is now serving sixty years in state prison.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

whister vibe

And probably partaking in a different type of "low hover"

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perfected the hover technique out of necessity in euro and third world bathrooms where you are provided nothing but a hole and a couple of places to put your feet

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Before I sit, I make a small wad of wet paper towels (or toilet paper) to clean up afterwards. Next best thing to a bidet. Haven't had a skid mark in decades!

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After every dump at home I take a shower. I got toilet clogging eco-terrorism wipes in the car for road games.

def need the home field advantage. I only shit outside of home if an absolute emergency. I like to be leisurely and take my time

If this thread doesn't bring Slap Shot Ed back, he's gone forever.

I'm still scarred by his septic tank cleaning stories.

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You know me like that.

I had to stop halfway through the article since it was too painful. I was having flashbacks to this past Saturday when my constipation returned with a vengeance WHILE I WAS FISHING. It was 5 AM so it was still dark as I walked to my boat after launching and parking. I was thinking I could make it to out in the harbor where no one could see me. (I was in Lake Michigan and you can easily get far enough away to have some privacy.) But I couldn't make the boat ride and thankfully I was the only boat in the launch. I really hope they don't have any cameras at the launch because they would of had an unfortunate show. Anyways, it was really bad and the shit I had to do should not be told to anyone. But the relief I felt afterwards was amazing. Had a great day fishing too.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

You sure you meant constipation?

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Can you post this as an archive.is link as I want to make sure they don't get the traffic

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Pretty sure. Are you making a joke or is there something you had in mind?

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

Constipation kicking in would indicate NOT being able to shit.

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Yeah that’s what I was getting at. Constipation may leave with a vengeance, but it usually enters with the urgency of Kevin Costner ambling onto an Iowa baseball field.

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Grow up Peter Pan

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I'm the same way. I'm somewhat jealous of people who can shit anywhere.

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yea no kidding...we have a 1 person bathroom on the 2nd floor of our building , which is what i use in an emergency

but the main bathroom everyone uses has 2 urinals and 2 stalls , i'll walk in and people will just be ripping ass left and right. Like have you no shame ??

In the workplace, you gotta get in early to be one of the first shitters. A toilet is of no use after 9AM, all warm seat and what not.

This is why WFH is the best thing ever.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

perfect!!

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Disagree. Going into the office means u dont have to use ur own toilet paper. And soap and water. Save money.

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wait. Normal people go out and fish in Lake Michigan at 5AM? I had no idea.

Are u on the Michigan side or some shit?

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I had to shit but couldn't physically get started. This has happened twice in the last month for the first time in my life. I originally thought it was from all the vitamins I was told to take due to COVID but now I am wondering if it is something in my diet. I have been eating a shitload of tomatoes and jalepenos due to an overabundance from my garden. Also, the couple times it happened I had taken a pot gummy the night before. I'm about ready to go see the doctor for this.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

I'm not normal. I like to get out on the lake before daylight and watch the sun come up. I could start going out a little late now since the sun doesn't come up till 5:30-5:45.

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.