I have an in-law that is certifiably insane. About this time of year every year she spins into a tailspin and starts attacking everyone in the family. This coresponds with her going off her anti anxiety and anti depressants in mid summer because she doesn't need them anymore and she's not herself. As Thanksgiving turns to Christmas it gets worse and you have to walk on eggs shells because ANYTHING you say will be twisted into a personal attack. This tends to crescendo and crash around Valentines day when she goes back on the medication because she can't function anymore. Rinse and repeat.

My brother in law, her husband.. I love like a brother but.. It is what it is.

I am the assistant girls basketball coach at our high school, been in this position for the last few years. We have had a pretty successful run winning our conference last year and advancing in the state tournament a couple rounds. We return 4 of 5 starters from last years team and should be pretty good again. Our head coach resigned at the end of our season, so the school began a search for a new coach. I put in for the position but was told I was not experienced enough for the spot. They hired a guy who retired recently from another school district. He has coached for almost 30 years. Due to his retirement he was not able to official take over our program until August 1st so he could not do anything with the team. So I was the interim coach this summer while they waited for this guy to take over. At the start of the summer I met with this guy a few times. He seemed like a great guy and was excited to take over the program. I asked him what I could implement during the summer to make his transition smoother. He said nothing. He had watched our game film and liked the things we had done the previous year and wanted me to continue running those things and he thought that would make the transition smoother especially considering we have a large group of seniors this year who have ran this same stuff since 6th grade. So that sounded good to me and I agreed with him that was the best plan for the transition. So I coached this summer. We did all our normal stuff. So August 1st comes and he officially takes the job. He tells me he is going to do some team building things during the fall to get to know people. Again, that sounded good and I thought it would help the transition. November 1st comes and our first day of practice arrives. The guy did nothing from August 1st to Nov 1 other than coming to one volleyball game to watch a few of the players. During that time I got really concerned about how things were going to go. First day of practice he acts as if we had never talked about keeping all our old stuff and begins putting in all completely new stuff. On top of that he is real old school hard ass guy and he comes off mad all the time. The girls quickly get frustrated. We had 21 girls on the team this summer. In a matter of about 3 days those numbers drop to 15 girls. After the first week we are at 11 girls, which is where we currently stand. It has been miserable. Before practice and after practice this guy is a real nice guy, but once practice starts he is completely different. Of the 11 girls we currently have at least 9 of them hate him and have considered quitting. I have been trying to be the good cop and keep them encouraged and playing. But it is really hard, especially since I feel like he completely lied to me on how he was going to run things. Our admin has talked to me and asked what is going on and I have been honest with them. We start games tomorrow. I have never been less excited for a season to begin and it sucks because I truly love basketball and coaching.

You could try something like I know you are busy and you are tired but I want to help you. Maybe we can go thru all this stuff/pile together and I can help you with it when you feel like it. Or make it like a lame date and have wine and listen to music. Or you put the stuff where she tells you to while she sits and plays on her phone. You might be out of luck and have to let it go.