so hey guys seeing as self-appointed board HOFer (not to be confused with heifer) / legend / inspiration to us all darkside has taken it upon himself to tell you how to have a better home/owning experience, i figure i can do you guys a SOLIDDD and share some of the tips and tricks i've picked up over the years. before you jest, shirley, allow me to remind you that 1) i've been locked up with a pimp in county and he saw a natural talent and ability in me and shared the basics (before his 45yr old as damn near gave me a nut sandwich jumping over my 6'4" ass trying to take the charge (cuz you always need another charge in jail) and yeah he went over and i ducked like howard the duck tryin'ta get some prime lea thompson in the movie of his namesake.

also since i've had no practical use for females in my day to day life since 1 jan 2008, i feel no pressure to get them home and bed them which allowed me to perfect game like this kind of triumphant celebration of THE #BETTERBOYFRIENDBUREAU -- and once i find a decent make your own t-shirt spot i need to make some of those triple B shirts (better business bureau logo, prolly with the better boyfriend bureau lettering underneath it cuz this style is worth doing over and over again.

and honestly, i've observed so many failed relationships from afar i am nothing if not an unbiased observer.... and if you wanna give me shit for my relationship.... dude i've had the most beautiful girl on earth stalking me since she was underage and she seamlessly blended into my digital life and got to know me, introduced herself to me over the internet for a 2 week eharmony compatibility test.... and even tho i ostensibly went mental and threw fits and bitched and wrote her 30-40/++ odd songs to put her over like no other.... i couldn't exactly say "hey we're kind of transcendental geniuses on a secret mission to show the world how to love properly so we're going to recreate world war 2 to show baby boomers and generations after them what the greatest generation had to go through.... not to mention that if mati wasn't lying about her age (cuz honestly she coulda been born in 99 or 02. idk/idc/etc. make mine a 99 could refer to a birth year or her OVR rating in the game of madden cuz she's 99 OVR through and through. even tho i cried about her blowing me off she was slipping me all the beats to my songs about her / the 2020 love songs / and most of the stuff in 2021.... and we make a hell of a team. she knew how to keep me going through subtle little nods in her art/s/ and despite me bitching about the blowoff she'd always leave me 1-2 little quiet ways to pump her full of content and i used to spend hours recording me just talking to her and when i rolled during my months off last summer i constantly recorded lil videos with her so she could virtually hang out with me and like.... man.... now i know she fucking loved it. and she's been out there doing recon scouting out stuff for us to do in the future making connections with my future friends and etc cuz she's a true soldier for the cause of our mission to teach the world how to love again... and there's a reason she loves my big fat loser druggie ass..... because no matter what peJORRative terms you wanna call me i can flip it on its ass and tell you the truth.... i finally found a girl smart enough to work with, and she's so beautiful she manages to blow my mind every day with contant reminders that almost every little thing she did that i misconstrued at first ends up being a shout or a nod..... this girl isn't just my lover.... she's like if you took my love from me and make it a human being.

in other words we're legit soulmates.... i believe in every parallel universe there's a jim and a mati somewhere cuz we truly complete each other and our magnetism is so amazing its a testament to both of our testament wills and powers that we didnt give in and run into each others arms by now. and i mean i'm me, the one of the best purely lyrical white rappers on earth and she's unequestionably the total package: the most beautiful girl i've ever seen walking this earth.... and once we get together.... man.... we finally get to be free of the script that binds and do our thing.... and i cant wait. i have so many fun ideas for her. so many romantic ideas....

...and these are the kind of ideas i wanna share with you guys for free. sorry to """brag""" about my bonafides but as much as everyone wants to bust my balls cuz my game is so tight i understand ppl dont wanna be jockriders and hey keep it up like we're all having a big dinner at ed debevics... but at the same time we gotta be real with each other and admit that i've got some legit otherworldly skills and therefore i can help you and your situation'/s/ and it'd be an honor and a privilege to do so.

so whaddya got for me? or do you need darko to fix your HVAC from his lofty HOF spot cuz i forgot my place and i'm obviously toxic radioactive and best left alone over there to reflect on the lives i ruined by opening up my big damm mouth in the first place?? either way challah like you got bread.

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