I wish I could sew a button on, always wished I could sew a button on. Never even tried. Probably could do it. But I'm gonna wait. It has to be an emergency. But I doubt a button emergency will ever present itself.

I wish I could jerk off with my left hand

Tell me you grew up pre-internet without telling me you grew up pre-internet.

_________________

The Vulcan greeting. Can’t do it.

Danny Parkins can't jerk off with his left hand either.

Did you get a "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy book for Christmas

I have a shirt that lost a button. I bought a sewing kit and everything. I haven't gotten around to trying yet. The "how to" video I watched seemed a bit overwhelming.

_________________

pleasing a woman

For the love of god.

_________________
Elections have consequences.

To stop posting on message boards.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

to answer the thread in sincerity , i wish i knew how to draw

that's a pretty worthless skill

I'm not a patient man.

_________________

I have a lot of worthless skills that I try to keep hidden. Threading a needle and basic sewing is one of them.

_________________
Be well

GO BEARS!!!

Can I send you my shirt? I still have the button.

_________________

The missing button rarely matters. If it's the top one, a tie will cover it, or you can casually leave it unbuttoned. If it's the bottom button, you put your shirt in your pants. A middle button is problematic. It also means your stomach probably popped it, and you need to purchase bigger shirts.

_________________
Be well

GO BEARS!!!

_________________
Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

I think you just called me fat.

It's like the 3rd button down, which is a weird place to lose a button. Maybe it wasn't sewed on properly to begin with.

_________________

Yeah, that's a problem button. Unless your wife or mistress was in a rush to take your shirt off, I would guess the company who produced the shirt fucked up.

_________________
Be well

GO BEARS!!!

Take the shirt to the dry cleaners. They will sew it on.

_________________
"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

play the piano or guitar

_________________
'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

I wouldn't say that is worthless, and its never too late to start learning.

_________________

Which one? Ambidextrous masturbation?

_________________

Ambidextrous Russian Roulette would be better for Caller Bob, and the human race in general.

_________________

being a chemist

insofar that i wouldnt earn any money with them, theyre worthless.


Piano i could potentially learn. As for guitar, I'm lefty and also had an injury that limits what id be able to do with chords and what not

_________________
'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

Safe to say Bagels didn't get an answer from the resident chemist.

I was trying to make a funny. The Division was a great help; much appreciated.

Your situation is a tough one for sure. Hopefully I helped a bit.