Bonus points if you got away with it


Mine isn't that bad. I was working in a large control cabinet and accidentally (stuck my screwdriver in a vfd for fun) shorted out the main buss and took out over $45k of parts. That was awesome.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I was going to guess that your co-workers would say you showing up.

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An unjust law is no law at all--St. Augustine of Hippo

Cause tried and true
I see the light in you
Oh, can you dig in my soul?
Could you smell my whole...
life?--Gener and Deaner

I am not telling. But I am comfortable disclosing that when I was eight years old I shut off one of the escalators at Woodfield Mall. It was funny (because I was eight) watching people have to walk up it like stairs. When I got home, I dialed 8675309. Jenny answered.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Didn't you also take the family car out for a ride when you were like 5 years old or something, too?

You were quite the rapscallion as a youngster, Deni$.

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At 18 months old in August 1975. I posted the article on it. “Tot drives car through garage.”

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Hawaii (fuck) You

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When I was 14 and making $3/hr stuffing the inserts into Sunday papers at 3AM I'd stick it to the man by removing the tv listings. Nothing would get more complaints to MANAGEMENT than not getting those.

When I was a waiter I would eat like 4 or 5 dinner rolls during my shift. I did not compensate my employer for the cost of the dinner rolls.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

lie

Tommy Teetone would answer and say thanks for listening to the song

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I had a SW side small paper route that on Tuesdays had a shipper to deliver to every house in the afternoon. I came home from school dumped each batch into some alley garbage cans and put on tv. I wasn’t fired.

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Elections have consequences.

It's Tommy Tutone, ya dweeb!

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Your mom

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When windows 3.1 came out I had a very rich uncle who had a computer with it. I was like 8 and he said I could play with it. I learned how to drag the C:/ folder into the recycle bin. The meltdown the ensued was crazy... Without file permissions in those days, the OS just ate itself alive in minutes.

I acted like I had fun on it, no issues at all. Never heard what happened to it. I assume he had to call Microsoft in those days

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

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And hnd will gladly pull edibles out of the recycle bin.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance

I was 14 and working for a large distribution company in a very large suburban industrial park

I had no issues serving the vast minorities that were there, but one day I sliced my hand open and was looking for some bandages when an hispanic demanded that I finish his order...so I wiped the blood from my thumb on his bagel, using it to stop the bleeding, finished his egg, threw it on top and all good

I'm a nice guy, but don't fuck with me

Created a ridiculous character to post on a sports radio message board.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

narc

I wouldn't necessarily call Beardown ridiculous, JORR, but I do appreciate the fact that you have come clean at long last.

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20 fucking years nobody wants to be me until now

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

i like this

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

In high school I worked part-time at a grocery store with a full-service meat counter. One of the butchers bought a new Buick Riviera and was showing off its silent remote alarm system that would activate a buzzer/pager if it sensed movement. My buddies and I took turns going out to his parked car and triggering the alarm and then watching him run out of the store constantly to check on it.

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Check out Jean Valjean over here.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

When I was a student worker in college I worked in buildings and grounds. We had a freight elevator that went between 2 floors. We also had this student from India who was weird as fuck and didn't know a single thing about physical labor forced upon us. I found out that if someone was riding the elevator up or down you could double punch the recall button and it would send them back to where the came from before they arrived at their floor. I would do that to him 5 or 6 times, running away before the door opened so he had no idea what was going on. We also had a bitchy secretary give us shit over something so I put a push pin through their 5 gallon water jug at the top and removed it before I left. She called our department freaking out that the water dispenser was pouring water out all over the floor. I also figured out that there was a hatch in the freight elevator where you could climb up on top of the elevator so I went up when this kind of slow but super religious guy was in there and whispered that he was going to pay for his sins the entire ride. That job was so much fun. They only asked us to do about 1 hour of real work and then let us fuck off the rest of the shift.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Of course I had to google up the article. I won't post a direct link to it because it has your last name but oddly, right above yours, was this one. Talk about a coincidence. And only $35 million

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

In that same paper there is a story about opposition to the home for retarded adults where my brother-in-law the priest used to work.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I have the original paper. I believe there is a farming combine on the front page…corn fields in Schaumburg.

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Hawaii (fuck) You