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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2024 2:26 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
So my niece Ashley is in 3rd grade and she laughs sometimes about this kid Duncan in her class because he "talks funny" (he's from Scotland...). Every day they do vocabulary where they pick a word and randomly point to three kids and have them say the word and use it in a sentence. Yesterday's word was "contagious". Teacher points to one kid and she says "contagious... my daddy's laugh is contagious, when he laughs everyone laughs". Teacher points to Ashley and she says "contagious... I had a cold last week and my mom says I couldn't go to school because I was contagious". Teacher says "very good, your turn Duncan" Duncan says "me daddy and I was driving down the road and we see an old lady painting a picket fence that had to be a kilometer long. He said it'll take that contagious to paint that fence there."

There were a couple dad jokes at Brady's roast. One I liked was Gronk is so dumb he thinks his last name is Owski.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2024 4:44 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
So my niece Ashley is in 3rd grade and she laughs sometimes about this kid Duncan in her class because he "talks funny" (he's from Scotland...). Every day they do vocabulary where they pick a word and randomly point to three kids and have them say the word and use it in a sentence. Yesterday's word was "contagious". Teacher points to one kid and she says "contagious... my daddy's laugh is contagious, when he laughs everyone laughs". Teacher points to Ashley and she says "contagious... I had a cold last week and my mom says I couldn't go to school because I was contagious". Teacher says "very good, your turn Duncan" Duncan says "me daddy and I was driving down the road and we see an old lady painting a picket fence that had to be a kilometer long. He said it'll take that contagious to paint that fence there."


:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2024 10:36 am 
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Darkside wrote:
So my niece Ashley is in 3rd grade and she laughs sometimes about this kid Duncan in her class because he "talks funny" (he's from Scotland...). Every day they do vocabulary where they pick a word and randomly point to three kids and have them say the word and use it in a sentence. Yesterday's word was "contagious". Teacher points to one kid and she says "contagious... my daddy's laugh is contagious, when he laughs everyone laughs". Teacher points to Ashley and she says "contagious... I had a cold last week and my mom says I couldn't go to school because I was contagious". Teacher says "very good, your turn Duncan" Duncan says "me daddy and I was driving down the road and we see an old lady painting a picket fence that had to be a kilometer long. He said it'll take that contagious to paint that fence there."



:lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2024 4:03 pm 
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Darkslides a liear? Ai would have used freedom units

When I was in 8th grade, we did the same thing but we were supposed to build on what the last person said, but only taking their adjective . Or verb or whatever.

It comes to me. The last guy said something like 'a boy used a screwdriver to fasten the shelf'

The bitch teacher looked at me, waiting, and I stared at her. calmly, I replied, 'the boy screwed the dog'

Even she couldn't hold it back. On the next field trip, the Caller Bob tried dancing with me! I didn't really hate her after that. She thought I was funny and I regret not fucking her because her husband was the super intendant and I told him I wasn't going to Saturday school. He was so mad at me. Looking back I should have definitely fucked his wife.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2024 7:07 pm 
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mm-hmm. Anyways, good "fucking the dog" joke.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 7:07 pm 
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Long day at work today, so I just wanted to chill at watch the Cubs game. And while approaching maximum relaxation, someone was pounding on my door. I'm like "fuck them salesmen" and ignore it. Seconds later pounding on the door again. I'm like "fuck me" and I get up and go to the door to find some dude telling me I need to be "saved" or I'll "burn" and some such shit. Fucking firemen think they know everything.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 7:25 pm 
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Was that ^ meant to be a dad joke or a bad joke?

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 7:32 pm 
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Tall Midget wrote:
Was that ^ meant to be a dad joke or a bad joke?

Ooh rough crowd rough crowd. I've never seen paintings smoke before ya know?

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 Post subject: Re: Dad Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 10:22 pm 
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why do women fake orgasms

because they think men care

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