Things went about as well as they could yesterday. Had a nice service. Then he took a group of 20 of us to a country club for dinner. No idea what he dropped on that. All the appetizers, steak/prime rib dinners, drinks and dessert you could eat, even for the sisters that he does not get along with. Came back to his house and hung out. I hung out with him and listened to him talk of his own daughter who has only called him once since mom died and did not come to town for the service. They have been at odds with each other for the last few years mainly because of politics and Trump. But I really thought she would put that stuff aside to come be with your father when his spouse dies. Some of the family are leaving today. We are sticking around til tomorrow.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

You are a good man RFDC

Check in on him often after you get home

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I am sorry to hear this. May her memory be eternal.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Sorry to hear this Ralph. Stay strong for your family and give them all the support that they need.

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.

She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her

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Spending the week here to help FIL do some things around the house. We spent the last 2 days digging out some bushes around their deck and power washing the deck and house. It is a real strange dynamic to just have it be him and me all the time. Strange not having Mom here to give a hug to or to have her complain about something we were doing wrong outside.

He is dealing with his grief about as best as he can especially considering it has not been quite 3 months since she died. Unfortunately, some of the rest of the family continue to make things difficult. And it is hard to know if he is just being difficult and exaggerating some things or if there is really truth to all the things he says. He is convinced that the disney sisternlaw has taken some of Moms jewelry from their bedroom. Mom had several nice necklaces, and he was going to give them to his granddaughters and now they are nowhere to be found. He asked this sister about not being able to find any of the necklaces and she supposedly said that "mom wanted me to have one of them" but claims to not know anything about the others. He is really irritated about it because him and Mom talked about all of that stuff and she was clear about what she wanted on things and she never mentioned giving any necklace to this daughter. So who knows where the truth is on all of that. He told her "enjoy that necklace because you have gotten all you are going to get!"

The oldest sisternlaw who cannot stand him is coming up to this area for a celebration of life for another family member at the end of May. That has triggered him as well because she had not been to their house in 17 years and could not come to visit her mom until she was basically on her death bed and she can find the time to come to this event. So in the meantime Mom had a chest that she wanted this daughter to have. He told her when she was here for the funeral that this chest was hers and she needed to make arrangements to get it. She has done nothing so far. So while they are at this celebration of life later this month he is planning on telling her that she has until the end of July to get this chest out or he is burning it. He has also taken down every picture that mom had of her up in the house and has put them in the chest for her. He said, "i have no desire to see that spiteful bitch hanging around my house". So that is going to go over quite well.

He refuses to go to the grocery store or keep really anything besides some beer and snacks in the house. So he has been taking me out for breakfast in the morning and then out for a nice dinner every night. I tried to get him to let me go buy some food and we could just eat some things around the house. He was having none of it. So he has been spending a bunch of money on that and it makes me feel bad, but you cannot force him to do anything.

I rewatched Gran Torino recently and I think hanging out with FIL and Walt Kowalski would be simliar experiences. I do wish FIL had a Gran Torino in his back garage!

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I’m just picturing Clarence Boddicker…”Bitches leave.”

Sad Ralph but good for you helping.

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Elections have consequences.

You are a good man, RFDC.

I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your mother-in-law.

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There goes your inheritance Ralphie

Tough times that look like they will get much tougher.

Very good of you to be with him.

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You are a good guy RFDC.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Funny story from my last night with him. We were sitting around watching some tv and shooting the shit. The disney sisternlaw calls him and you can just see the irritation go all over him while talking to her on the phone. When he gets off the phone I ask him what situation with her has made him the maddest over the years. He thought about it for a minute and then said "I am going to tell you a story that your mothernlaw would not want me sharing and it was by far the situation that made me the maddest with her." He then proceeds to tell me that back when he married my mothernlaw (2005) they went on a honeymoon to disney world. He was not really interested in going there, but that is where mom wanted to go and so that's what they did. They check into their hotel and go get something to eat and come back to the room to find the disney sisternlaw (she was probably 25/26yrs) there at their room. He then finds out that my mothernlaw told her it was ok for her to come stay with them in their room for this trip so she could go to disney world too. So he has to deal with her for that entire week. She stayed in the room with them. Went out to eat with them. Went around to the parks. He said that he was so mad he hardly talked to mom the entire trip and seriously considered looking into getting their marriage annulled. He said after they got back home mom finally got him to talk about the situation. From her perspective they were not kids anymore and they really did not need any alone time and that this was a nice gesture for her daughter who did not get to do many fun things. Obviously, he did not agree with that and said they had a huge fight over it. I asked him how he was able to move past it. He said well I loved Mom enough to not let that fat ass tub o lard take that away from me with her childishness.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

The SIL not withstanding, he must have truly loved the MIL to have agreed to spend a week at Disney World. For me that would be a non-starter.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."