******************************************A Beardown "Cracker" Production************************************

Larry - Well, Hamp, I'm sure a lot of people have heard the news. This is it for us big guy. Danny Mac's hillbilly ass is coming in. I just want to say it's been really, really, really great working with you. I learned a lot and I think we've built a friendship that will last a long time. I think we proved to the world that blacks and whites can get along. We broke ground. We helped to better the racial divide in this country. President Obama is proud of me...and you too, Hamp. Anything you want to say.

Hamp - Yes, my little buddy. There's an old saying in Arkansas. Mama taught me this when I was young. I think it will help both of us get over our firing: If the chicken is in the ba...ba...barn. And the p...p...pig is in the pen. The c...c...cows are in the field...then uhhh...then uhhh. Golly. I forgot. Anyway...Buddy Ryan, before Super Bowl XX, said "I'm leaving you boys...go out and kick some ass." That's what I wanna say to you little buddy. Kick some ass!!!!

Larry - That's very, very, very well said, Hamp. Anyway I owe thanks to a lot of people but especially Dan Bernstein. He's really, really, really great. I've learned so much from him. I love him. I really, really, really do. He loves me too? Right Hamp? Yes...he does love me.

Hamp - Ok. It's been a good run. Let's move on to sports.

Larry - We will. In a minute. I'd also like to thank my mom. She's a really, really, really, really great lady. She's a teacher ya know? One of her greatest accomplishments in her life was raising me. She raised me to be the great man that I have become. The one all of you Score listeners have had the privilege of listeining to in this slot before Mitch Rosen decided to fire me and end all of that for you. I know you're mad at Mitch but that's life. I know you're all going to miss me. I'm not bitter. It's at moments like this where I only become stronger. I will rise again. You'll see. Right Hamp? Right.

Hamp - Ok...buddy...let's do the old sports-a-roo. One last time buddy.

Larry - In a minute cracker!!!! Shut your mouth and stroke your Super Bowl ring. I'm not done. I'm not gonna be like other Score guys that lose their prime time day shifts. No. Not me. I won't blame it on others. I won't be like Hood who blamed Rick Telender. That would be petty and arrogant. That's not me. I'd never blame you, Hamp. Sure, the stuttering hurt us. Your inability to compose a thought hurt us. But I wouldn't use that as an excuse. I won't blame you. I'll take equal blame even if it wasn't my fault. That's the kind of great man I am.

Hamp - Are you d...d...done now Mr. Holmes?

Larry - No. I also want to say that yesterday I ate Pizza. It was really, really, really good. I also watched TV. Now, Hamp, Danimal, #99, big guy, Mr. HOF, Super Bowl champ...I am done. We can talk sports.

Hamp - Jesus Christ.

Love the Larry telling us about his Mom and everything else he did (pizza, etc) Very Larry

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""I am now done at the Score."
Mike North, June 24, 2008

My side hurts! Stop it, Loof!

Well done.

So, I've read this and noticed as I was reading I had their respective voices in my head narrating this to me. The resident Larry David strikes again!

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"It's not exactly a rocket surgery." D.J.

Keep the Beardown "Cracker" Productions coming. Very funny.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Back-to-back jacks

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nice work.

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Frank Coztansa wrote:
Please die in a fire.