Killer- our solution here has proven effective- Farm/Fleet type store carries Golden Malrin brand fly bait- comes as a blue crystal/powder in a yellow can the size of a soup can. Stuff is designed to attract flies in a fly trap in a barn. Mix one quarter can of bait with a can of Coke in some container you can shake it thoroughly. Racoons love the sticky sweet Coke and fish oil attractant. Put the mixture in a bowl/dish that the racoon can drink from without tipping it over- like a large dog's bowl. Try to place it somewhere you know will limit the exposure- like your roof, not too many cats or dogs there, but you know Jumbo is. I have had few full size racoons drink from the Bowl of Very Short Life and crawl much more than 20 feet away. Many die while at the bowl. It really is that kick-ass deadly! One Queen Jumbo drank her fill and managed to get out of the barn almost to the grape patch. When she died and the flies came to do what flies do, they also died!!

WARNING. Do not let this shit get out of your control. Destroy any bottle/container you use to mix this stuff. You do not want your buddy or your kid to take a swig from the Coke on your workbench. Make sure to dig that hole deep, so nothing digs him up and dines on poisoned 'coon.

Will also work with possums. Actually, our barn cats do not seem to drink this stuff. Certainly is safer for us than risking a shot inside the barn hitting a cow. Those racoons will destroy tons of stuff to get at food.

One of my coworkers tells the story of his daughter complaining about monsters in her bedroom. He blew it off as bad dreams until he heard that racoon clawing inside her closet- that one did not survive his Army Ranger training.

That stuff doesn't work. I bought a bottle of this stuff...

and it doesn't work. I have a mother and four little ones living under my deck. Some of the cedar lattice at the bottom of my deck was broken, and they have moved in. I have replaced all of the lattice except for one piece. I have the replacement ready to go, I just have to do it at night after they are gone. I certainly don't need a family of dead raccoons under my deck.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

That works. I had some critters so I paid Jeremy Roenick to piss in my yard.

No more problems.

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You know me like that.

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Does your cat make too much noise? Try KITTEN MITTENS!


Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?
Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.'

UPDATE: No evidence of raccoon activity whatsoever last night.

It would seem that Tubby is either A.) afraid to return or 2.) Holed up in a bunker plotting the ultimate revenge and will strike when it's least expected.

Further updates as events warrant....

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Its over when one of you is DEAD. Godspeed.

So that bastard "Killer" V thinks I'm afraid? Just wait till he sees the hole I chewed through his siding last night. You didn't see me you dumb bastard because I'm already in your attic! Plotting.

And stealing Killer's wi-fi apparently also.

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You know me like that.

The raccoon is currently a 3-1 favorite.

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THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!!

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The Racoon posted that he was in your house.

This is getting weird, I think that may actually BE the racoon posting.

You have to move. Its his house now.

Well Mr. Raccoon, I have decided to give in and seek calm. As a peace offering, I have placed a bowl with some delicious treats in it for you, on your favorite perch, on my, sorry, OUR roof. Enjoy my new friend.

(By the way, if you haven't read any of the other posts in the thread yet, have the tasty treat first, then sit down and read them at your leisure, old chum)

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Doobie Doobie Doo.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

[quote="Chus]That stuff doesn't work. I bought a bottle of this stuff...

and it doesn't work. I have a mother and four little ones living under my deck. Some of the cedar lattice at the bottom of my deck was broken, and they have moved in. I have replaced all of the lattice except for one piece. I have the replacement ready to go, I just have to do it at night after they are gone. I certainly don't need a family of dead raccoons under my deck.[/quote]

Shake away didn't work for me last year that well, but pure coyote pee and the fact that we had owls that eat rabbits (as evidence of all the bones i found last year) I haven't had a big problem with rabbits this year...chipmunks I had some issues but they have kind of went away when I fixed the garage door and stored the bird food in a airtight container.

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Does your raccoon know the squirrels here that I eventually trapped and had taken away after they were fucking in my attic? (It was during the spring when they should be mating - boy were they pissed to get stuck in a trap)

I think I saw Killer's raccoon today around mile 9 of my run today.

The thing was out in broad daylight and broke into laughter when I passed by. Then he held up a sign that said "Evanston or bust". So I guess he got lost...

BUMP!!!

So Monday morning I was driving to work and a racoon decided he was going to try to cross the highway in front of me...no problem, except the stupid fuck decided to stop as he was halfway into my lane and try to turn around...big mistake, as I ran his ass over...

However, the fucker appeared to do some damage, as I now have a HUGE piece of what appears to be plastic dragging underneath the front end of my car.

Raccoon issues: Try a long pole to poke at it. If it gets irritated enough,it will leave on it's own.

About 10 or so years ago,I heard some loud noises coming from my roof. I looked out the window to see the Sasquatch of the raccoon world slowly climbing down the side of my house. Those things get big!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

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Sweet baby Jebus, I have a huge raccoon on the roof right now and its trying to claw into the house. Gotta love Crystal Lake... "We wont come out unless the animal has entered into the home".

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more like Mchenry dept of health, they won't come out, but the cops in CL are at least willing to come out and possibly hunt the bastage down

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Fucking cocksuck son of a bitch!!!

What is it with these stupid fuckers...had another one run out in front of the far this morning, and once again, I have a giant piece of car dangling from underneath my car...also cracked the front bumper...

...and then the fucking bitch at walmart had the nerve to ask to see a receipt for my fucking duct tape.

That's right...a three dollar roll of duct tape.

FUCK. YOU.

AKLJFKL:AJFKLAKL:AFAJAL:KF

Rabbit season

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Raccoon is a board member.

This thread needs to be deleted ASAP!!

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Yeah, that was pretty good...

So, you have a piece of car hanging from your car that you are going to "fix" with duct tape?

This is bound to end well.

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That was the funniest thing RPB has ever posted.

I'm serious.

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