|
Well Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen and pantsless Internet Cretins. It’s Friday, and it’s time to vote for some douchebags. But, before we get to that, let’s take a moment to honor our newly crowned Douchebag of the year, shall we?
Finishing in third place was our old pal from a year ago, Goldendomer93. Goldendomer has made a lasting impression on the CSFMB, while only being on the board for about 3 days. He made hundreds of spam posts, pissed a lot of people off, managed to get nominated for both Douchebag of the Year and also Pudwack of the year in our CSFMB year end award show. But it wasn’t quite enough to win the Douchebag of the Year title. He sure gave it an effort though, didn’t he?
Finishing in second place was Irish Boy. No one knows what motivated Walt Williams Neck to nominate him, perhaps he had taken the wrong days mixture of pills, but he nominated him. And we discovered a new phenomenon her at CSFMB, voting for a guy just because he’s there. As far as I’m concerned, IB is just alright with me, so I was personally happy to see him finish out of first. But he should receive a sound round of applause for handling the nomination as well as he did. Congrats.
Well, as you all now know, our 2009 Former Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year goes to none other than… The “Dad of Balloon Boy” Richard Heene. Heene was the flake who built a UFO looking hot air balloon, and faked an emergency situation by claiming his son Falcon was aboard, it had somehow launched, and Falcon was riding the damn think on a trek over the countryside. It turns out that little Falcon was fine, hiding in the attic. Falcon also was the reason that the whole charade blew up. Heene had done this to attract attention to his family so that they could be considered for a reality show. Amazing what lengths of Douchebaggery people will go to to get attention, TV shows, steak dinners.
So here’s to you, Richard Heene, proud holder of the 2009 Former Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year award, bestowed upon you by the wonderful denizens of the Chicago Sports Fan Message Board!
Now, this poll is to kick off the 2010 season with two candidates to qualify, as this poll covers both weeks 1 and 2. So sharpen your wits and vote for two twits!
The Chicago Bulls: Ugueth Will Shiv you has nominated the Chicago Bulls for allowing Jarrett Jack to hold the ball for 10 seconds, while in play, so that he could tie his shoe. He just tucked the ball under his arms and tied his shoes. How could the Bulls allow this to happen? Was Jack mocking the Bulls? Did he notice their lack of intensity and find a unique way to point it out? Vote here if you think the Bulls are just plain douchebags for allowing this embarrassment to happen.
Harry Reid: Reid was nominated by perpetual “straw stirrin’ the drink” conns7901 for comparing the Republican efforts to slow or stop the health care reform bills to slavery sympathizers prior to the Civil War. He also compared them to people who opposed Women’s rights to vote. Is this just your usual nasty politics or was Reid out of line here? You gotta vote!
The House of Representatives: Health Care. War on two fronts, record deficits, rising unemployment, commercial real estate bust looms, Iran threatening us, and the whole global warming fiasco is all going on today. But, the House has much more important matters to attend to. They’ve got to find a way to change the Bowl Championship Series to a playoff system. This can’t possibly be a national priority can it? I guess it is, and that’s why Walt Williams Neck nominated them.
Tebow….. Poor baby: Mr. Belvidere nominated Tim Tebow because of his religious messages on his eye-black, which refer to bible passages. He also thinks that his was a disgrace for crying but I guess some big tough football players have done that, (Favre two or three times) right? Is Tebow expressing his freedom of speech by passing on the word, or is he just another pushy religious dude who’s always trying to show that he’s better than you? Gotta vote!
HIV Positive Married man injects wife with his blood: Nominated by Degenerate Dave, this unnamed HIV positive married man from New Zealand injected his wife with his infected blood as she slept so that she would contract the disease, and sleep with him again. This guy is one sick puppy from all accounts and descriptions of the situation, so if you think this doofus has a shot at being the week’s biggest douchebag you just gotta vote for him!
Asheville City Council: Cecil Brothwell was a legally elected candidate for city council, but they are refusing to seat him because he’s an atheist. Exclamation Moint thinks that they should allow him to be immediately seated, not just because it would be the will of the people, but also because the law that the Council is hiding behind has already been ruled previously as unconstitutional. Is this a lame ass attempt at hiding behind the letter of the law for political gain? Your call, Chicago.
Jim Belushi: shakes made this nomination as a result of Jim Belushi’s puck drop at the UC a couple days ago. He comes out doing back flips and generally acting like a complete asshole. Here’s a guy who totally benefitted from his brother’s untimely death, using the name association to create a career out of thin air. He’s also being accused of being a shitty example of what’s “Chicago”. What do you think guys, is Jim Belushi a douchebag, or just some dude trying to make a living?
HUNTERS: You can tell by the all caps that this one is submitted by bigfan. Isn’t it funny how a guy that never used caps in his name will use all caps in his posts? Anyhow, he thinks that hunters that douse themselves in does piss, and “call in” bucks are douchebags. He’s not talking about the guy in a tree with a bow and arrow, just the guys who “cheat”. It’s always fascinating to me how guys who have never done this can decide what is and what is not sporting about hunting, but does he raise a good point? Is that cheating? Or is it using our natural advantage (intelligence) over their natural advantages (superior eyesight, sense of smell, and stealth)? You decide!
Jake Locker, U of Wash QB: spmack nominated Locker for going back to school to finish his senior year instead of entering the draft, where he could have been a real money making first rounder. It’s possible that he just wanted to finish his education, but it’s also possible that since he’s a QB it might be worth it to wait it out a year until next year’s soft QB class. Or, he could just be a dumbass douchebag throwing away good money. Your call Chicago.
Elmhurst Steve: The Brand may lead the league in overall nominations for Douchebag of the Week. This time, he was nominated by Jack Bauer for his most recent thoughts on law enforcement, constitutional law, and the harassment of average citizens who are mindful of their constitutional rights. The Brand is a complete and total attention whore, coming here to make an absolute fool of himself regularly simply so he can have some form of attention, so we here at the DBOTW take what he says with a grain of salt as there’s always a strong possibility that Steve says what he does because he enjoys looking like a foolish jackass. But, wouldn’t that make him a douchebag? You got to vote!
Well kids, there’s your nominees for the first two weeks of the 2010 season! Make sure you vote, and spread the word, Douchebaggery will not be tolerated here at CSFMB!
A quick couple notes on rule changes this season.
1. No whining.
2. Voting will be open for only 3 days for each poll.
3. Stop whining!
So, it's time to kickoff the 2010 Former Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year! Are your ready for some Douchebags!!!!???
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
