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Well good morning CSFMB. It’s Monday, and it’s time to vote for some Douchebags. Yeah, I get that we’ve been late with the nominations this last couple weeks. Sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me. I have barely forgiven myself.
Last week (well, two weeks ago anyway), we had two winners, the HIV Infected Husband, and a homegrown douchebag, Elmhurst Steve. Congratulations there, guys, you’re the first douchebags of the 2010 season. And we’re so proud. Since spring training is only 7 weeks away or so, we here at the DBOTW home office believe that there is a distinct possibility that we’ll see one of those two again before the end of the first quarter.
And… here are your week 3 and 4 nominees!
Fidelity Investments: Spmack nominated Fidelity for firing an employee that was involved in a fantasy football league. I suppose that he was fired not for being in a $20 league as the article mentioned but for excessive amounts of time on the website while on company time. I almost don’t feel sorry for the guy; had he not worked on it on company time, he would have never been in violation. It’s not the league, but where he spent his time working on it. But it is up to you, Board Member. You’ve got to choose to vote!
Some dumbass in my building: Ah. A nomination with a poll involved. I think that Douchebag has himself a good idea here. Anyway, there’s a poorly parked car, a nasty old person that keeps calling him to move this car, and the dipshit that gave the old lady the wrong information, fingering the wrong man (insert Irish Boy dry finger joke here). There’s certainly douchebaggery afoot, but, even with the poll, it’s still murky who that douchebag really is. But you can clear this up by voting here!
My Internet Connection: Well, as many of you know, our dear lipidquadcab has left the safety of the basement nest, has spread his wings and flown to freedom and sketchy internet connections. Well, it’s not as bad as spmack’s but then again, spmack doesn’t engage in regular gaming dork sessions. But this thread introduced us to a cool speed test site, one that I find particularly annoying in my profession as they’re completely unreliable, wholly dependent on traffic at the site at that time, affected by local server issues, and cause thousands of unnecessary rolls at my company. But, he might be right. Only one way to tell. Vote!
KWANZA: Halfpint nominated Kwanza for being a made up holiday. Realistically speaking, all holidays are pretty much made up except for Independence Day. Christmastime was timed to co-opt certain winter solstice rituals. Pulaski day; made up. Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day… all bullshit designed to make you waste money on stupid shit. Maybe we’re douchebagging all holidays. I suppose I’m down for that. Do you support Halfpint’s nomination? Gotta vote to say!
Facebook Reason #13: BigFan’s nomination is included for two good reasons. One, I actually understood what the hell he was trying to say for once, and two, he wasn’t in all caps yelling at us. Which is nice. Facebook causes a ton of cheating and suspicions, and actually causes divorces (well, the asshats that engage in poor behavior documented on Facebook cause divorces, but you get the idea). Is Biggie right? Does Facebook deserve to be a Douchebag of the Week?
Jim Caldwell: Jalapenos and More has nominated the first year head coach of the Colts for basically pulling starters and losing the last two games of the year. Yeah, you screwed all kinds of fantasy football championships, office confidence pools, and millions and millions of fans have to look for another year of those prick Dolphins popping corks. Asshats. I always thought you should ALWAYS play to win the game, no matter what your goal is to win the game. But I guess people feel differently in Indy. Can you tell that I support this nomination? Bastard.
Sis in law: RodeoVann strikes again at the sister in law. She’s large, offensive, shamuey, plus sized and has an insatiable appetite for shrimp, meat, and drama. For whatever reason, Vann doesn’t like being with her. And once again, she proves to be annoying. Vann probably thinks that she should be nominated every week, and she may very well provide enough material to support those future nominations. What do you think, CSFMB?
Crittenton and Arenas: Seacrest nominated these Wizards teammates for pulling guns on each other in the locker room on Christmas Eve. I’m not sure what would bring a couple guys to this point in the locker room, or what those weapons were doing there in the locker room to begin with but it happened, and here they are. Are these guys douchebags? Vote!
Well, folks, there’s your Week 3 and Week 4 nominees. Remember to vote for two douchebags. We’ll be back to our regular schedule starting this Friday with the revealing of the winner of these two weeks, and the introduction of next week’s crop of nominees!
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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