Jerry: "So you want to take a ride with me out to Jersey? I'm gonna try to sell the van to a lot." Kramer: "A dealer? Are you insane? No, take out an ad. Sell it privately." Jerry: "I don't think I want to meet the people that are in the market for a used van."
Kramer: "Come on, Jerry, just let me help you." Jerry: "OK." Kramer: "All right! OK! Right, here we go. Yeah. OK, so... 'For sale. A big, juicy van.' And, ooh, you gotta put down, 'interesting trades considered.'" Jerry: "I don't want to trade." Kramer: "No, you don't have to. It's all about tickling their buying bone."
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Jerry, answering the phone: "Hello? Yeah, the van is still for sale. Sure, come on buy." Kramer, rushing into Jerry's apartment: "Yeah, I called about the van."
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Kramer, inspecting Jerry's van: "So, how come you're selling it?" Jerry: "You know why I'm selling it. I hate it." Kramer: "How many miles?" Jerry: "Two." Kramer: "City or highway?" Jerry: "Look, do you really want to buy this thing, or what?" Kramer, breaking the antenna: "Hey, hey. Take it easy. I'm not gonna be pressured. I'll walk away right now. Is this thing bent? I'm not paying for that." Jerry: "All right, just get out of here." Kramer: "All right, look. I'm going to be honest. I'm very interested in the van." Jerry: "OK, fine. 'What do I have to do to put you in this van today?'" Kramer, pointing to the newspaper ad: "Well, I don't really have any money. But it says right here, 'interesting trades considered'." Jerry: "You put that in!" Kramer, pulling out an undershirt: "And I'm glad I did. Here." Jerry: "You want to trade me an undershirt?" Kramer: "No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt. He took this off to do sit-ups in the park and I nabbed it." Jerry: "That's disgusting." Kramer: "Well, it's my final offer."
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