Agreed. Taking a dash to the car during the commercial so I don't miss anything. Enjoy all.

WAR THAT

I've got a lighter up in the air as I'm hoping this epic monologue goes for at least an hour.

Who else in Chicago Sports Radio is going to sit down and tell you what it is for ~20 minutes before taking a commercial? SHAKE THAT!


NOOOOO!!!! here comes the ginger to fuck everything up. /me re-sheathes lighter

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Laurence,

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Even in a crisis, He oozes the playa role


SHAKE THAT!!!!

Reunited,
Shake that got back, girl excited
Strike a mack on the news anchor
romance ignited

ZZ is ruining my SHAKE THAT buzz.

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Fuck You Zach! Don't tell me that Lovie is involved on the sidelines. EIGHT years of the camera on him....HIS LIPS NEVER MOVE! Don't tell us what we have been looking at for eight friggin years iswrong.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Laurence needs no guests. This doctor fella is not adding anything new to the discussion.

More SHAKE THAT!

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At least we get to hear about some DePaul hoops!!!

Don't let me down Laurence... you need to let Mike Florio know that you've noticed that Mike Tomlin looks like Omar Epps. That needs to be shook!

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Did anyone else hear Joe O's update at the top of the hour.
After Terrell Owens commented on Cutler, Joe says "To on Versus"

SHAKE THAT!

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I like the cut of your jib. The MJD post too.


Another close personal friend, and Bear, in studio.

SHAKIN IT

This thread is far more entertaining than any show Holmes has ever done.

I know it's a Back-handed compliment, but I just thought I'd say thanks.

You know I like you Jimmy, but this is one of the dumbest things you've ever written.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

The Holmes-eys???

The awards should be the SHAKE THATs and the trophy is Laurence's bronzed foot up your ass.

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alright, it's 8:37 and here we go... they're teasing the people's hour but as if god manifested himself and decided to become santa claus sir laurence of shaketh thateth has already started telling us his DVR selections.

he didn't add that stupid show with that dude who's a doctor, even though he really likes the girl on the show. (royal pains?) no. but SARAH SHAHI?! everyone google her, i have it from reliable sources that she's fantastic.

i'm excited. we've got a bonus 20 mins of the people's hour here, then the actual people's hour, and then a ~25+ min interruption-free tranny with abbatacola.... oh wait, it's jason george golf on the 10-12 shift tonight so maybe laurence is bring proactive and giving us what we want early because his trannies with DRINK THAT are epic and undoubtedly the kind of compelling appointment radio that brings us back to thsi thread time and time again.

so who's with me tonight? where my LoHeads at? I'm frothing at the mouth cuz I missed the Holmes Awards at 7... you know on the streets when we do what we want, we all refer to the awards as "The Larrys" because the king of all media, aka shake that, knows how to play the heel role and put shit out there and get us talking. that's why mitch is grooming him to eventually replace bernstein.... SHAKE THAT DELIVERS!

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YES! The People's Hour starts off with a BANG. As if Laurence was reading my mind, I was thinking "man, now that I've got a new maxim-caliber girl in a tv show to lush over.... as a Person during my hour I need to hear from HARD BAEK"

and sure enough, all softness was checkad at the door because THE PEOPLE'S HOUR GAVE ME WHAT I, A PERSON, WANTED: 10-15 GOOD MINUTES WITH HARD BAKE.

did you know that HARD BAKE is gonna talk about the Bears during the 10pm news? BAKE THAT! did you know that HARD BAKE has a twitter account that he updates once a week on saturdays because "[he] doesn't need to share his every waking thought with the world"

Laurence informed us that he doesn't tweet because he has a 4 hour talk show where he can talk about what he wants (let's be honest guys, it's a three hour show. Laurence falls on the sword every night for an hour in order to GIVE US WHAT WE WANT in the form of the people's hour"

WISDOM: "you can't start writing exactly what you think and put it on the internet" PREACH ON BROTHER LARRY! seriously, what kind of a twisted world do we live in where people can have thoughts and share them with up to 6+ billion people within seconds? This is NOT a good thing because if Laurence has taught me anything, it's that you need to go to a Jesuit school and learn the ART of communication and pay your dues at a sports talk radio station in order to have opinions.

I mean, seriously, you guys know me... I'm a sad board caricature of the guy who talks too much and look at all of the memorable shit I don't say because I have the gall and audacity to sit down without a filter/corporation there to remind me that I can't start writing exactly what I think and put it on the internet.

As a matter of fact, I will be amazed if this post makes it to the board. "YOU JUST DON'T ON THE AIR TALKING CRAZY" --- preach on, my hard friend. as we say on the corner, at the barbershop, or whatever other media-approved stereotype/archetype for a place for balck people to meet up and congregate.... 9pm on the weeknights = time for...
BAKE THAT!

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People's Hour.

Bring It!

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"the blackhawks play the wild before they start WILDIN OUT for the all star break"

from god's lips to my ears that's how we do it on the streets.
BAKE THAT!


OH MY FUCKING GOD! LAURENCE IS TEASING THAT HE MIGHT DO POLITICS DURING THE PEOPLE'S HOUR SOMEDAY! HARD BAKE IS TEASING HATER WEDNESDAYS A DAY EARLY... DUDE, COMBINED WITH MY EXTENZE AND VIAGRA COCKTAILS I'M AFRAID TAHT MY BONER WILL NEVER END!

OH MY GOD I HEAR THE OPEN. OH MY GOD IT'S 9:15 AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GO TO COMMERCIAL, BUT THESE WILL BE MY COMMERCIALS DURING MY HOUR BECAUSE HAVING BAKED THAT I'M READY! I'M SO FUCKING READY FOR THE PEOPLE'S HOUR! OMFG TANNY/HERB SAMPLED CARTMAN SAYING "I DO WHATEVER I DO WHATEVER I DO WHATEVER IW ANT!"

now laurence is turning the airwaves over to us, even going as far to give us topics to call up and talk about. and he just said THE PEOPLE'S HOUR **COLON** WE DO WHAT WE WANT!

YES HE'S RECAPPING THE HOLMESIES AWARDS! THIS IS WHAT I WANTED!

sorry guys i'm drunk and about to come in my pants because like, this is too good! IT'S MY HOUR AND LAURENCE IS SO IN TOUCH WITH THE PEOPLE **COLON** HE TELLS US WHAT WE WANT! YES! THANK YOU LAURENCE HOLMES!

SHAKE AND BAKE THAT! THROW A LITTLE EXTRA INTO THE SHOW! HERB OUTED HIMSELF AS A LIONEL RICHIE FAN! THERE'S A HOT IRANIAN BITCH WITH A SHOW ON THE USA NETWORK! COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT!

FORGIVE ME GUYS THIS IS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IF I TRIED TO HOLD IN THIS EXCITEMENT I'D EXPLODE AND MAKE A MESS THAT MY WIFE WOULD BE CLEANING UP IF I DIDN'T BEAT HER TO DEATH OUT OF FRUSTRATION FOR CUBBIEGIRL(KING)SH(E)AMUS CALLING ME A WIFEBEATER!

YES! HERBIE IS OUT OF THE CLOSET! LAURENCE IS TELLING US TO GIVE HIM THINGS THAT WE LIKE THAT WE'RE A LITTLE BIT EMBARASSED ABOUT!

OH MY FUCKING GOD I NEED TO TEXT THE MAN! WE'RE SALUTING OSCAR-NOMINATED ACTRESSES! HE JUST TOLD US WHAT WE'RE DOING DURING HIS HOUR AND HE JUST GAVE US A TOPIC TO COLON SAY WHAT WE WANT.

I KNOW THIS POST SUCKS. I KNOW IT'S ANNOYING EXCESSIVE AND WILL BE USED IN THE TRIBUNAL WHEN I MAN UP AND FACE JUDGMENT FOR MY CONSIDERABLE CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS SUBVERSIVE BRILLIANCE!!!!!! IT'S THE PEOPLE'S HOUR WE DO WHAT WE WANT, WE CALL ABOUT WHAT WE WANT, AND WE DO IT FOR A WHOLE HOUR... BUT LAURENCE IS SO BRILLIANT WITH HIS FINGERS ON THE PULSE (WAY BETTER THAN THE SECOND HALF AND HIGH NOON TIMES SECONDHAND NEWS TO THE 10TH POWER) OF THE PEOPLE THAT HE CAN TELEPATHICALLY RATTLE AROUND OUR HEADS AND FIND OUT WHAT WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT AND THEN TELL US TO CALL IN AND TALK ABOUT WHATEVER TOPIC HE GAVE US TO TALK ABOUT IN THE PEOPLE'S 40-45 MINUTES! SHAKE THAT BAKE THAT SHAKE AND BAKE THAT!

OMFG WE NEED TO MAKE SHAKE AND BAKE THAT T-SHIRTS! HARD BAKE + HARD SHAKE = THIS IS WHY LAURENCE SACRIFICES DRINKING IN PUBLIC: HE'S AN ORANGE LEVEL THREAT TO HOMELAND SECURITY.

ANYWAYS, THANKS TO PANTHER FOR INSPIRING ME TO POST IN CAPS. THANKS TO LAURNECE FOR INSPIRING ME TO BE A PERSON AND COLON DO WHAT I WANT, AND SPECIAL THANKS TO RICK TELANDER FOR BEING SO SEXY ON THE SPORTSWRITERS ON TV. THAT = SHOOK.

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I'm not sure what's harder to read. When you post in all caps, or when you post in all lower case.

Moving on.

_________________

OMFG NATALIE HERSHLAG (PORTMAN) IS RAPPING! THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN ON ANY OTHER PROGRAM! THIS IS THE PEOPLE'S HOUR AND COLON WE'RE DOING WHAT WE WANT!

SHAKE THAT!

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oh no no no no no NOOOOOOOOO!!!@@$!#$ NO DUDE YOU CANNOT DO THAT! YOU CAN'T JUST STEP UP AND DISS ME AND TEAR MY FRAGILE EGO TO SHREDS AND THEN DECLARE THE TOPIC MOOT AND DEAD BY SAYING "MOVING ON"

BOYD, YOU JUST TOOK EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR IN LIFE AND DECIMATED IT AND THEN INTIMATED TO THE BOARD THAT NOW THAT YOU HAVE SAID YOUR PIECE THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SAY AND THUS WE SHOULD ALL MOVE ON BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT SINICLAPYALYPISS IS A MORON AND THE UNIVERSAL ARBITER OF ALL THINGS WISE HAS GAVE **THE DEFINITIVE OPINION** AND THUS NO FURTHER DISCUSSION OF SAID TOPIC IS WARRANTED BECAUSE, GASP, S.J. BOYD HAS SPOKEN!!

being that this is the people's hour COLON we do what we want, I want everyone unfortunate enough to stumble across my drunken meanderings to drop what they're doing and list their top 10 S.J. BOYD 0137 CSFMB moments right now. I know it's going to be really really super motherfucking hard to narrow down the cavalcade of greatness down to 10 posts, but in the good name of glorious palatine i want you all to try and find the de-facto cream of the class by letting us know the top 10 moments when S.J. BOYD 0137 has touched your life!

non-seriously, I would make a comment about how your posts are hard to read, however, there's never anything worth reading! I've become accustomed to just kind of glossing them over, veritably recreating them by spinning myself in circles while watching the jerk and screaming out bad metaphors and stereotypes the whole way round.

Your posts are like the taco bell meat of the board. Sure, I ramble on and sometimes take odd angles and circle the wagons around my meager thoughts with 5000 words in a contrived masterplan to convince y'all that I have something to pay, but for the life of me, I can't even remember one goddamn thing you've ever said that made me take notice! At least I have a sad board caricature where everyone assumes I type in all small letters (nevermind that once Boilermaker Rick nicely asked me if I could use proper capitalization and punctuation I have 97% adhered to his wishes) everyone has already formed their opinions and gone and declared that they don't ever read my posts, so as you said.... MOVING ON.

** the proceeding post never happened. it's like a tree that fell in the woods with nobody there to hear it: it didn't even make a sound. seeing as there are 2 minutes left of the people's hour and this post is anachronistic, i will allow the following post to continue unabashed because nobody's gonna read it so i midaswell continue on my plight to convince all y'all that i'm mental and worthless.

btwboydjustimagineifidecidedtogoballsoutandmakeproperspacingthenextconventionwhichiwillabsolutelyadmonishenroutetobecomingtheveritablee.e.cummingsoftheboard.youthinkit'sheardtoreadmyshitwheniusespaces?tatakethatn00b,youhavenoideajusthoweasyimakemypostsbecauseinallhonestythisishowireallyroll.myspacebarissomesortofurbanlegendthatactuallyiseditedbygodandblahbahblahpeopleshourisovertakecare#sin.key-Zakathehonorabledr.admiraljamesdangerdisdain-awesomeXXXVIIesquire,neecuntkicker

basically, i'm just talking shit back only because you dissed me and you're a board institution while I'm on the board and should be institutionalized and i'm jealous because even tho I was technically here for ~5 years more than you, even in a billion posts I couldn't recreate the greatness that s.j. boyd oh one THIRTYSEVEN brings to the table. you, sir, are the essence of what this board is all about and I will likely spend the rest of my life secretly idolizing you and wondering just what I can do to escape my board caricature and someday be as highly regarded as you are! I've thought about jumping in and making a mac show listening thread, but I need to know my place here. My job is to keep on typing this paragraph and do it in all small letters OR ALL CAPITAL LETTERS and say nothing in convenient 50000 word format and draw the ire of everyone here because, sob, I'll never reach the glorious heights of S.J. OIL CAN BOYD ZERO UNO TREINTA Y SIETE!

I am sorry, boardfather, for I have sinned. Please tell me what I need to do in order to become a valued member of the community and I will take it to heart and never ever look back at this sad period of my life where I lashed out at everyone who tried to use ridicule as a tool to help me evolve into the best poster I can be... I mean 10163 posts in a year and a half? Dude. I couldn't top 50 posts in my first 5 years here, and the other ~1940 posts have only been all smalls/caps rants that are a cipher that spell out "I AM JBILLS!"

speaking of, where is jbills? I miss that dude's creepy avatar cuz I always thought it was him and when you consider all of the fury in teh politics section and the fact I was repeatedly called him when I first got going and cracked a hondo for posts, man, I need to get off of the meds again and bring back jbills.

for the record, my mult empire = sinicalypse, jbills, ikesouth, cubbiegirlshamus, whistler, nad government fromage. I have to use two laptops and proxies to get away with being logged on to the board twice, but like, DONNELL WOOLFORD! TRACE ARMSTRONG! WE DO WHAT WE WANT! STAN THOMAS! ALONZO SPELLMAN! WHY ARE WE NAMING OLD BEARS PLAYERS WITH LAURENCE GIVING US BASEBALL HITS AS A METRIC TO TALK ABOUT ALL "THE TALENT GOING ON"

* pops in time machine and goes back ~20+ minutes ago *

OMFG NATALIE PORTMAN KNOWS HIPHOP! IF SHE DIDN'T SHE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FLOW LIKE THAT! YES! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED!

you see that over there? THAT IS SHAKEN AND NOT STIRRED!

GUYS, AS THE BRITISH SAY AT THIS POINT I AM TAKING THE PISS. YOU SEE, THIS IS THE PEOPLE'S HOUR AND I'M DOING WHAT I WANT. IN FACT I JUST ROBBED THE LOCAL 7-11 AND WHEN THE OWNER SCREAMED "I WILL CALL THE COPS OH YES I WILL!" AS HE TRIED TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN ME BEFORE I SHANKED HIM, I MERELY BELLOWED OUT "THIS IS THE PEOPLE'S HOUR COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT!"

he laughed and said "holy shit I am apologize in the name of my one true god Shiva and I will not involve the police because I am forget that this is the hour of people and COLON you are doing what you want. Here have playboy magazine too because you are need to find out turn-ons for the next woman you are have sex with during THE PEOPLE'S HOUR, COLON, WE DO WHAT WE WANT"

it was at that point that LMFAO started perambulating through the store's speakers and we had a proper ritualistic laurence holmes dance and then threw piss-soaked slurpees at prospective customers.

SUCH IS THE POWER OF SHAKE THAT

**** THE PRECEDING POST HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY MENTAL DIVERGENCE: SICK OF LIVING IN A DREARY REALITY WHERE YOU'RE NOT THE MESSIAH? SHAKE THAT OFF AND JOIN THE WINNING CROWD IN POSTING ANNOYING MESSAGES ON MESSAGEBOARDS!

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That was exactly why I said what I did.

That was awesome

I actually had to scroll to the right to read the whole damn thing.

Don't ever change, Sini

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Dammit boyd, you're supposed to secretly get super butthurt and go out of your way to act like you're above it all, only letting your FIRE AND PASHIN slip out in pithy little remarks. DAMMIT! you don't have some obvious hook to latch on to and ridicule, i.e. ugie will shiv you and his love of all things golf.

How am I supposed to be a crazy board caricature getting my Panther on and stirring the drink when you actually have a sense of humor on the great lollercoaster of life?

Keep on having a sense of humor and laughing at SERIOUS FUCKING ATTEMPTS AT BOARD DRAMA and I might have to even go after Palatine. My mom's side of the family had a compound at 907 E. Baldwin Rd. (right down the street from the K-Mart) for ~30 years, so if I have to, I'll ignore Egon's warnings and cross the stream!

GO PATS! INVERNESS RULES PALATINE DROOLS!

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The K-Mart is gone.

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Jason Goff absolutely destroying balck players tweeting about Cutler.
"Where were you when the Michael Vick stuff happened? Where were you when Stallworth killed a man?"

Team Bernstein slaying bitches today.

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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS EXCESSIVELY LONG AND EXCESSIVELY TAKING THE PISS AS IT IS CONSTRUCTED IN THE SPIRIT OF THE PEOPLE'S HOUR COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT. DO NOT READ THIS POST. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE S.J. BOYD WILL SHIV YOU 0137. YOU ARE MY ENEMICK. ((editor's note: on the reals guys, this will be my last purposely-annoying post of the night and for awhile, as I'm being super obnoxious)) AHEM. DON'T READ THIS. THE UNEQUIVOCAL TRUTHS WILL BE MORE THAN INCONVENIENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

HOLY SHIT!

Jason Golf (like any well-educated WASP, I know that "Goff" isn't a word and clearly somewhere in the family history they hurredly scribbled down the name on a Census and that "l" looked like an "f")

AHEM.

anyways, Jason Golf has the 10pm-12am shift. On twitter Chicago's #1 duffer said that during his extravaganza he's going to replay the Jason Whitlock interview from B&B. That inverview clocked in at 30+ continuous commercial-free minutes, which means that with proper breaks we're looking at ~40 minutes of JASON WHITLOCK FIRE AND PASHIN! Everyone loves golf (as the surge in fantasy golf interest this year unboutedly points out) therefore, everyone loves THE GOLF, as Dan MaNiel2760 has already declared JASON GOLF to be teh #1 Chicago sports talk radio host of 2021.

For the son of a balck man from kansas and a balck man from Evanston to step up and assume the mantle as Chicago's #1 sports talk radio host of 2021, that means he'd have to leapfrog the proprietor of "The 1st Annual Larry Award Show", our hero and protagonist,
SHAKE THAT!

As any dedicated fan of The People's Hour COLON We Do What We Want knows, you don't mess with Sir Larry of SHAKE THAT because "...[he'lll] hit you!" However, after nearly killing the pizza delivery driver last week, SHAKE THAT is on the down-low.

That said, how can Laurence strike back at his "homey" THE GOLF and ensure that his meteoric rise will be stymied in order to ensure his rightful place as the #1 Chicago sports talk radio host of 2021? Easy: sabotage the tranny like he does with DRINK THAT! and make sure it goes damn near commercial free minutes. Laurence did that tonight, albeit without the zeal of OMFGFUN! that comes with his gleeful destruction of DRINK THAT's show, and he made sure that there was barely any time for anything before the update at 10:30.

After ~3 mintues of commercials, an update, then ~8+ more minutes of commercials, we didn't get the Jay Electronica instrumental until approximately 10:39pm. If you couple that with the ~30-40 minutes of JASON WHITLOCK WARFARE, you're looking at approximately 30-40 minutes of THE GOLF, which means that the wet dream of the CSFMB is going to have to go all inception three levels deep so time flows really quickly despite little to no time passing in the real world.

In the real world, Terry is muttering "BY CRACKY!" in his sleep. In dream level #1 Paula Faris is engaging in the most triumphant orgasm of her life at the pelvis of SHAKE THAT. In dream level #2 Mike Murphy is getting the shit beat out of him as six people try to hold SHAKE THAT back from prematurely ending his life... and in dream level #3, we're here listening to the Jason Golf show.

This is serious stuff, and don't kid yourselves guy: after 6pm DER SCHNORE becomes darker and bleaker with lightning cracking off in the distance. Everyone walks on eggshells, knowing that the slightest mis-step will result in major facial reconstruction surgery. People know the syntax, they come up to SHAKE THAT and hear "(Staff Member Name) you're at The Score and you want to say hello to Laurence Holmes?" and they grin and love it, fully knowing this is the syntax of champions, ask Steve Dahl. This is no longer a fun and happy-go-lucky place, this is a compound run under the iron fist of SIR LAURENCE S.T. HOLMES! This is how it goes until midnight, when the meatball king of Chicago shows up to provide much needed levity in order to reset the station back to its casual vibe for the 5am-6pm daytime drive... and don't kid yourself, it's not like Les shows up to work all willy nilly like nothing can happen...



Ask any woman who survived their tenure working at Channel 5, in the metaphors of Gorilla Monsoon: the electricity in the air was so thick you can cut it with a knife. There was a bi-weekly NBC5 Elevator Riders Anonymous support group for people who had to share an elevator with the rightful #1 Chicago Sports Talk Radio Host of 2021. The shocking truth is that when Nostradamus (who btw was clever enough to reincarnate into "Nostrathomas" Waddle and GTFO of the way, working at WGN, ESPN1000, and the NFL Network) predicted three antichrists to terrorize the world, he didn't even have the balls to spell out the truth: SHAKE THAT is the third and final antichrist.

Everyone at DER SCHNORE is thankful for every day they're allowed to survive.... because beneath his meticulously crafted veneer of "The People's Hour" lies the truly tyrannical totaltarian Fascist-at-best methodology of Sir Laurence of SHAKE THAT: that of universal dominance of any and all methods of communication.

Tonight he let it slip that people should not be allowed to go on the internet and speak their honest thoughts. He's also mastered the Goebbels-like art of duplicity, repeating something over and over and over and over again, as semantically antithetical as it might be: in this case, saying it's THE PEOPLE'S HOUR COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT, but really, with topics forced upon the audience in the midst of ~40 minutes of Laurence talking about other things on his mind, the whole "PEOPLE'S HOUR COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT" is just Laurence working on his demo reel where he talks about more than sports so he can get a Howard-Stern-type-contract with SiriusXM/internet-radio and get a 4hr commercial free show where he can spread his propaganda before taking over the Tonight Show in 2014, renaming it THE ME SHOW COLON I DO WHAT I WANT, which is then extended to 4 hours, and then later it's own channel... and then it's own package on cable TV, before it spawns off into its own cable company, which gets so large it buys out all of the TV networks and then using the power of media allows Laurence to be elected President, where he manufactures terrorist events to seize dictatorial powers which he never relinquishes.

DON'T YOU GET IT?! Laurence decided to strike back against God for being slighted in life, and since he's not tall enough to be able to actually hit him, he devised this plan where he would bullshit his way to worldwide domination through the guise of being a sports reporter/talk-show-host and now we're at the point where Laurence is building his repetoire, having hosted every damn show on the station save overnights (as stated before, Les is our only hope in fending off Laurence's advances because NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GROBBER!) and soon the station will be his, and like, tonight's debacle with THE GOFF just goes to show that how you can take teh most popular host on the CSFMB's show and turn it into an overglorified ~30 minute show by exerting your will during tranny.

I'M TELLING YOU GUYS NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE... THE SIGNS ARE THERE! LAURENCE IS GOING TO RISE TO POWER LIKE HITLER, AND ALL OF THE CHAOS GOING ON IN CHICAGO SPORTS THAT WARRANT COVERAGE ARE ALL MANUFACTURED BY LAURENCE HOLMES IN ORDER TO MAKE YOU LISTEN TO HIS PROPAGANDA DURING THE SPORTS SEASONS AND SOON HIS MASTER PLAN WILL UNFOLD! THE "PAULA FARIS" YOU KNOW IS A DOPPLEGANGER AS THE REAL PAULA FARIS IS LOCKED UP IN THE BASEMENT OF LAURENCE'S VOLCANO HIDEOUT!

PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE HEED MY WORDS: SIR LARRY OF SHAKE THAT IS GAINING POWER, AND HE'S DUPED HIS ENDLESS HORDES AND LEGIONS OF BLOWN SLAVES, ERM, LISTENERS TO BELIEVE THAT THE PEOPLE'S HOUR COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT IS THEIR HOUR COLON AS IN THEY ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT AND WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE, BOTH IN ITALY IN THE 1920S AND GERMANY IN THE 1930S.

SOMEONE SAVE FARIS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! SOMEONE EMPOWER LES WITH A PROPER DRIVE-TIME SHOW TO ALLOW THE AGE OF GROBQUARIUS TO COME TO THE SCORE AND IN TURN SAVE THE WORLD!

like the observers in fringe, i can see multiple potential futures... and like, I've seen Laurence's world... it's not a fun place COLON you don't do what you want. I've also seen a world saved by Les where, as the prophet DAMANEEEEEEL predicted, in 2021 Jason Golf is teh #1 sports talk host in chicago. That's what you want...., trust me.

Because nobody reads my posts, I have used the aforementioned babbling to scare off everyone but the true believes: This is the last communication from sinicalypse proper until further notice. I have to go into the witness protection program in order to escape the wrath of SIR LARRY OF SHAKE THAT, so the role of "sinicalypse" will be portrayed by a doppleganger who uses punctuation to say short concise on-topic thoughts in order to fool Larry.b

Just know that I'm out there somewhere, fighting your fight.... killing threads on anime bulletin boards around the world... posting on baseballprimer.com, worshipping at the altar of the one true God, Aphex Twin (peace be upon him). God willing, I shall talk to you again someday.... but I'm afraid I said too much. I have to go. Stay strong, true believers... and the love of god, make sure you SHAKE THAT because if you don't Laurence might suspect that you're on to him... I MEAN LISTEN TO THE FUCKING LYRICS OF SHAKE THAT!

"we came to make your body rock, to make you lose control....."

Don't you see? You're losing control! You know how it's THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA?! Yeah. Just liek it's THE PEOPLE'S HOUR!!! DON'T BE FOOLED! WARSHIP ALEX JONES FEMA DEATH CAMPS BLAME THE JEWS THE JEWS THE JEWS THE JESUITS AND THE BLACK POPE ARE A FRONT, THE ILLUMINATI ARE A TINFOIL HAT DISINFORMATION SERVICE TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A LUNATIC! THE JEWS ARE ALL AN ELABORATE FRONT COOKED UP BY SHAKE THAT! DON'T TRUST THE PEOPLE'S HOUR.

good night, and good luck. you're going to need it. This is my last communication until the solution to the cipher masterfully hidden within this post reveals itself and then and only then will you know that the electric messiah is back. We live in frightening times... but you have no idea how scary it truly is.

SHAKE THAT

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Awesome



What are you guys a little embarrassed to like?

Larry is so dope, he knew the people wanted to talk about that without even asking them

Tears streaming down my face. Slow Clap. You are brilliant!

What the fuck was all that shit about?

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

De Paul is Vincentian not Jesuit

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.