A fat middle aged man is Swerving and police lights soon light up behind him...

Harry: (Inner monologue) Oh Fuck...alright Harry, you can do this. Youre an actor, a thesbian. Play the role of sober. Good thing that was a joint. Alright, charm on, lets go

The officer approaches the vehicle

Harry: What's growin on, Officer?

Cop: Whats goin on?! Youre swerving all over the road.

Harry: Ya, this is a dealer car. Damn gear shift was sticking, so I was trying to...

Cop: License and insurance.

Harry: HA! Ok, ok. Here ya go. Like I said, this is a dealer car. I get it for doing commercials for them on my radio show, Carm, Jurk and Harry.

Im Harry!

Cop: Youre drunk. How many did you have tonight?

Harry: I havent had a drink since this morning...HA! Im kidding! I had one beer earlier but that was hours ago...

Cop: Uh huh...and whats that smell. It smells like marijuana sir. Have you been smoking.

Harry: Is that what that smell is? See now that I can definitely explain. I valet parked they must have smoked some doobies in the car...damn kids

Cop: Whats that on your shirt?

Harry: Thats the Hawks logo sir! Go Hawks!! Kaner!! REPEAT!!!!

Cop: I know what the Hawks logo is! Im talking about that green chunk of marijuana on your shirt

Harry: Uh...HA!...uh

Cop: Step out of the vehicle Mam


Cut to the police station


Harry: Im telling you...you guys are making a HUGE mistake. My dad built this police station. Call the mayor. The mayor will take care of all this.

Cop: Alright well you get one call. You can call who you want

Harry: Thank you
(Dials the number from his cell)

Harry: Mayor? Harry!! Whats growin on? I hope im not waking you

Mayor: Well I was asleep but cmon...im available 24/7 to the Teinowitzes...what can do I for you son?

Harry: Well, this gear shift got stuck and yadda yadda yadda your cops are trying to book me for DUI and possession

Mayor: Book you??!! Non sense!! put one one of those morons on the phone

Harry: HA! He wants to talk to you

Cop: Hello

Mayor: Do you realize who youre dealing with? Thats a Teinowitz!! Are you crazy or just stupid?

Cop: Well, he was swerving, drunk and had weed on his person...I mean we didnt even search him it was ON HIS SHIRT

Mayor: I dont care if he was doing lines of Cocaine off an immigrant hooker on a moped...you dont TOUCH him.

Cop: Um

Mayor: I want you to drive the kid home, with his car and for godsakes make sure he gets home safe. Hopefully he'll forget this whole thing even happened...Meanwhile Ill be up all night working on an explanation for Phil Teinowitz

DO IT!

Put Harry on

Harry: Mayor? You are the best

Mayor: No problem Harry. You're my guy. Have a good night and Im sorry on behalf of Skokie for your inconvenience

Harry: I'll let it slide this time


On the way home in a squad car

Harry: Hate to say I told ya so...HA! Kidding! No hard feelings? How bout we all go out and get some drinks? What do you say?

Cop: Goodnight mam. Be safe.

Pure awesomeness.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

immigrant hooker on a moped

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Fine work

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Is his father some bigwig or something?

Nice job, btw rpb

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Nice rpb. Especially the lesbian references.

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You know it's good work when bigfan praises it.

Top notch!

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now that was fucking funny.

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@audioidkid

Browns Chicken Poster of the Week!

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

I'd be interested in optioning this as a rollicking musical, but I'd have to insist you write in a lengthy tirade in which Harry blames the Gentiles for all the world's woes...

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Those are expensive side dishes.

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Thank you but credit Harry for making it so easy

This thing practically wrote itself

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

good stuff man, will there be a part II ?

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As long as Harry is breathing...


This was episode 4 anyways

The clubhouse pissing, the horse, the drinking during work.

Harry is the Star Wars of embarassment

Ok, now the "fatha' and falling off a horse stuff makes a little more sense.

So basically, this talentless turd is some kind of Skokie untouchable, at least in his own mind?

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

so he thought

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