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PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 3:35 pm 
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Blue Jays still in last place.


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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:20 pm 
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Dammit, you stole my thunder because I had just deemed Bautista as threadworthy today... and here's why.

Barry Bonds forced his way into baseball recordbooks with a tremendous 2001 season, where he hit 73 homeruns with a .328/.515/.863 AVG/OBP/SLG statline, good for a 1.379 OPS. The next season his HR total went down to 46, but he upped his average to end up with a .370/.582/.799 line, good for a 1.381 OPS. I had originally come into this thinking that was the record OPS, but like, in 2006 at age 39 he had a carbon copy of his 2002 season, just with more walks, resulting in .362/.609/.812 for a record 1.422 OPS.

Keep in mind, that was quite-arguably the best overall hitter of his generation becoming a roidmonster and blowing everyone except Babe Ruth out of the water.

This season, after his big game yesterday Bautista is at .368/.520/.868(!!) good for a 1.388 OPS. It turns out that Bonds' .863 SLG% is the single-season record, and right now Bautista is at .868, which is above that of Bonds.

I consider it unlikely that Bautista will end up taking the single season SLG% record, however, this guy has indeed put in a call to Mercury Morris because he's not just in the area or even the town, he's on the damn street coming up to the house ringing the doorbell with a nice casserole his wife made in tow for the party.

It seems like Bautista is getting better and better to the point of walking with the mutant gods, so like, is this obviously a case of PEDs?

As I said on baseballprimer, man, if the guy ends up getting caught I hope he goes on 60 minutes and says "look, I went from a nobody to getting a $65mil contract that set up the Bautista family with multi-generational wealth.... I stand behind my decisions"

This guy isn't ging to make the hall of fame, and the records he has a shot of going after are held by Roidmonster Bonds, who by all accoutns was qutie an insufferable prick long before he got the bright idea to man-up and take a few needles to the ass. I'm sure even the old guard of baseball would love to see Bonds lose some of his precious records, and I think that becomes a factor seeing as the baseball gods love to drop the information at key times to make the player look real bad. Do remember when Sammy Sosa got outed for a positive test in 2003's "anonymous" testing, it came within a week of him saying "I've passed every test, I'm clean, so I'll sit back with my feet up and wait for that call from the hall of fame thank you very much" BLAM!

and with Manny, welp, he must have done something to piss off the old guard.... or maybe they just got sick of his schtick and saw he was starting to wind down so they wanted to kick him in the ass on his way out, and now he's got another positive test which has all but forced him to retire in shame.... like ~$200mil+ worth of shame, but still, he didn't leave on his own terms, much like Bonds.

So is this as cut-n-dry as being a case of some new amazing PEDs with Bautista, or did he gave one of those legend-of-bagger-vance type magical negroe hitting coaches teach him a timing mechanism for his swing, and then he got a special bat forged from wood that came from when lightning struck the tree that eve plucked the apple from in the garden of eden and now he's an inspirational story to every young kid out there "hey, you could suck but maybe one day you'll figure out how to hitch your front leg up and down and then suddenly you'll be like twice as fast swinging through the zone against power pitchers"

I honestly don't care about him using PEDs.... I do care about him potentially getting caught with PEDs this year cuz i've anted up some value to trade for him in a few fantasy leagues cuz once I saw that he's got a really good Roidmonster Bonds impression, holy shit I jumped all over that one. He helped lead me to a near record 7HR day in my main fantasy league yesterday =D

What thinkest thou, oh brain trust of the dying CSFMB? Put down your elmhurst steve pillows and let me know.

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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 6:24 pm 
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