Sarley, most of these posts in this thread are the wishes and whims
of people who think they are far funnier than they actually are.
Just keep that in mind if anyone ever has any fishing advice.

BTW - Where's Crosscheck to come to my rescue?

It honestly sounds like he's not a cute cuddly kitten anymore so you're gonna just get rid of him rather than manning up and helping the little guy calm down...

Oh...Eastern Illinois. They contacted me. I didn't take the entrance exam because I had 64 crayons instead of 3. But I loved going through Central Illinois. Watching people on bad cooked up Tide is the best.

Can I nominate jackref for poster of the day?
Thanks!

Can I nominate jackref for poster of the day?

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

Please explain, Jackie Boy. Are you the pot or the kettle?

But then again I am a color blind, brain dead, unedumicated piece of white trash so what do i know about anything

I'm aware that I talked plenty of shit about my cat in the OP,
I just don't know why someone can't ask for legit advice without it turning into a fucking Monday night open mike routine.

If someone were to post "RIP Mr. Pickles" because their dog had died,
there would be 25 posts of sympathy.
I simply asked how to alleviate myself and family from an anti-social cat without having to lie about it, or abandon it willy-nilly.

How can I get rid of this 90 pound CRT TV? 25 replies, most of them helpful.

Looking for new cable service, any advice? 50 replies.

I've had to take 4 cats and 3 dogs to be put to sleep in my life, yet I simply ask
if anyone knows anything about shelters and the amateur comedy club comes out in droves.

I had a dog that bit me numerous times. It bit my wife and my daughter.
It finally bit a neighbor kid badly. I had it put to sleep.
Now I feel bad about doing it.
Maybe it was its diet or maybe it was spayed incorrectly?
Maybe I just should have "manned up?"
Bullshit!
The dog had a screw loose and euthanasia was the right solution.

Some advice without comic intent: chill the fuck out. You should know this board well enough to realize the expected responses.

We need to get rid of our 15 month old cat.
He's a total douchebag, and he's absolutely the opposite of what anyone would want in a pet.
He's perfectly healthy. We paid for his shots, neutering, front declaw, etc. this past Feb. 2011.
He just does not fit in with my family. He stalks, prowls, and attacks all 3 of us out of nowhere.
He tries to get outside all the time, and despite him being an inside cat, he's fucking feral as can be.
I feel like if I'm honest about the fact that, plain and simple, he's just a fucking psycho, no one will take him.
There is a shelter directly next door from the vet we take him to, so I could totally prove that I'm not
trying to get rid of him because he's sick, he's just a fucking unlikeable asshole that we can't stand anymore.
As a lifelong pet owner, and especially cat lover, this is the only animal I've ever wanted to get rid of, but we have to.
Help?

The decision is already made

jackref is a good cat (no pun intended), however.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

Sarley, most of these posts in this thread are the wishes and whims
of people who think they are far funnier than they actually are.
Just keep that in mind if anyone ever has any fishing advice.

BTW - Where's Crosscheck to come to my rescue?

I'm not a cat whisperer per sé, I just charge a fair rate to oversee their activities.

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

Great work, Fraj...

Guys own cats? This and PSU are blowing my mind up.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

Cats chill you out. Medically proven. Like weed.

I'm guessing you own a cat?

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

I am in the urination, puking, drunk, yelling zone.

I once jerked in a chicken truck, so I have that going for me.

PM me and you can drop him off with me.

Good man right here. Maybe a change of scenery is all it needs.
Spent a month or so post-katrina rescuing abandoned pit-bulls from New Orleans. A feral cat with a 'tude is no thing.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole

Actually no. When I lived with my parents I was taking care of a dumped cat who has feline leukemia, but not @ the moment.

Weird, I see Dolphin looking in my asshole