Hello Chicago, Dan MacNeil here. Radio superstar. I would like to talk to you about something that is affecting a great majority of the 1%. That's right I am talking about Gout. Have you been sitting in your basement watching your 8 tv's at the same time stuffing your face with all of the free steaks you get for plugging Allen Brothers on your way past its prime radio show? I know I have. But I just wanted to let you know that Gout is a real disease and it definately is affecting the wealthy at an alarming rate. So forget AIDS or Ricketts or diabetes because those are diseases that afflict the poor and please donate to http://www.goutbegone.com. Checks for less than 100K will not be accepted because we all know I don't roll out of bed for that kind of money....HA HA. And be sure to tune to 670 The Score from 9 to 1 every weekday where we talk about fishing and gout and I Love You Man and of course we will have a hilairous parody about Jay Cutler set to Rush's Tom Sawyer.


edit:I didn't realize goutbegone was a real website but thats hilarious.

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I know what you're referring, and it's that ACME Recycling commercial that 670 The SCORE has been running quite a bit lately with WBBM 780 AM/WCFS 105.9 FM's Len Walter hawking it...

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Actually, I think it pretty much would solve the problem, wouldn't it? If you smash the platters beyond repair, who's going to get it operational enough to get data from it?

Not sure if I'm right or not... I'm going to call Kim Komando this weekend and ask her.

I was driving in the rain and the wipers weren't working. I was so fucking scared because I am a dumbass. I needed the high schoolers at Jiffy Lube to tell me the blades were worn. Thank fucking god they were there because I am a clueless bitch.

The one thing surprising about that ad is that it's a woman who plays the clueless role. This ad agency is Breakin All The Rulz!!!

Don't they know, the men are supposed to be the dolts? Why not model their ads after the Comcast ads, which so elegantly follow the trend of the stupid man who cannot tie his shoes without the help of the clever and witty women around him.


Then again, the woman who squeals "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan we are on-LIIIIIIIIIIINE, pe-pole !!" doesn't exactly advance the female cause.

Nowadays, that's about as impressive as "aaaaaaaaaaaaan I'm turning on the light switch people!"

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i gotta go back to this dumb ass corona video with the skiing. "you wanna know what my favorite run is?" "the last one?'

gee that's a tough life. skiing all day long. you really could use a beer and a beach. i wish they had frank's CEO.

Exactly And you'll notice, you don't hear the "people" in the office cheering or clapping or anything. Her pronouncement is met with complete silence. Which of course, it would be in real life, but, this is an ad....





Trying to derive the logic to this ad is perplexing. First of all, if your favorite run is the last one, you know, who's forcing you to go skiing at all? I don't get the complaining about an optional activity that you chose to do. Second, why in the hell do you make an ad that has a hot girl in a bikini... but you don't actually show the girl when she's in the bikini???

Some real geniuses writing these things.....

fucking exactly.

Cringe worthy.

But maybe not as much as "You mean a thick shake? Yeahhhhhh."

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

those state farm commercials have managed to overtake 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS K-A-R-S KARS FOR KIDS! 1-877 KARS 4 KIDS TURN IN YOUR USED CAR TODAY!!! as the most loathsome pieces of shit on the current radio.

it started off with that mochachino commerical, and then they quickly recorded another hokey musical overtly-rhyming jingle one which they now play back to back with that damn mochachino commercial EVERY FUCKING TIME. and it's not just the hokey overtly-rhyming jingles attempting to convey superamericana through song that gets me... it's that they're on so fucking much.

i'm finely tuned in that once i hear the first hi-hat on that kars-4-kids commercial i can PTFB like supermegauber fast, so now once i hear the first sound of that state farm shit i'm gone for a good five minutes. lamentably, while kars-4-kids can't afford to blanket the airwaves with their commercials omnipresent in every commercial bank, state farm can... and do... and they must think these commercials are great and effective since they commissioned the second one so quickly (the free credit report singing douchebag comes to mind) and now... THEY'RE EVERYWHERE SOMEONE HELP ME AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$ #@5

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The American Express commercials where the dumbass douches keep saying what is on their minds instead of what they are actually trying to buy.

How about those ads where someone is always singing about how much they love logistics, to the tune of That's Amore. I think it's a UPS ad.

There's a car ad (think it's Nissan) with this really odd looking dude stretching his new car out once he finds out
he's having triplets or some shit. I just don't like his look.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Much like all ads, this one has been played so much that it's now inciting riots and instilling thoughts of murder (maybe that's just me). It's immediate PTFB when one of those starts.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH6d4Ad ... r_embedded

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Yeah, State Farm apparently thinks they've hit gold with those ads. Much to our misfortune. Instant PTFB time, as soon as I hear I like my insurance like my burrito... Stupid stupid stupid.





Now see, if they were really smart, they would have had auto-correct changing some of the things they were typing. Little humor might go a long way in that commercial. Why aren't I getting paid for this?

I completely agree with the madness that is greenlighting back to back pretentious soft indie rock 30 sec radio ads for a fucking insurance company. Good Lord how contrived and smarmy... This is what the focus groups came up with...

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i agree with the hate on the half-whispery "i smoke 3 packs a day so i have a husky voice" singing indie songs...what started this? nick drake? was it nick drake? well, he had talent goddamnit. and that was posthumous. and that's not fair.

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or maybe something practical!

You know what's practical? My fist down your throat.

Practical that, you low-rent hustling d-bank.

Someone was paid thousands of dollars to write that jingle...

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I do like my insurance like I like my burrito...in a black, latex outfit.

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Make Bette Midler go away already.

The new Lexus for Xmas campaign (already a flawed concept), but now we're supposed to believe that these women know the Lexus jingle well enough to recognize it and know they're getting a Lexus?

CRAP!

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On the WSCR CBS stream, there is a commercial for CSI where Ted Danson sounds like a crazy old coot. He says one of the following:

I love bankers
I love bakers
I love bacons


....either way, it bothers me.

That is all...

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This is my signature...

MY GOD! Wow. Two so different people together in a shared situation! No one ever thought of such a mismatch pair of misfits in a sitcom before!


Sweet.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014