Low 5: Jurko Clears the Studio / Turns down deal from People’s Gas
“I had been on the scene for only a couple of days”, said a former MJH intern that asked to not be identified. “I came in the studio as we were returning from a break. I placed a stat sheet in front of Jurko, caught a drift of what had just come out of his ass and passed out. Literally, I hit the floor and I don’t know what happened next. When I came to, I was on the floor by myself with Jurko. I guess Harry and Mac had cleared the area and Jurko was forced to go solo”. Listeners complained for weeks. “We’ve offered Mr. Jurkovic a handsome sum to bottle up his gas, said People’s Gas CEO Richard Terry. “I understand it smelled like a small rodent had crawled up his ass and died.”
Low 4: The Ben Gordon Interview
“I was in the back room of a Verizon Wireless store waiting to make an appearance and I get a call from a guy asking me if I’ll do an interview on MJH. I don’t know what that is, so I hang up and call a buddy to ask him about it. He used to pitch for the White Sox, so I figure he’ll know. Any way, Kelly Wunch gave me some good “How to interview” pointers and I went on the show. I don’t remember anything else”, said Gordon.
Midway through the interview, Gordon failed to answer a question and McNeil cut him off. The Verizon store manager found Gordon lying in the back of the store dead asleep; cell phone by his head. Radio ratings monitors later confirmed that MJH listeners tuned out across the board; many preferring the more stimulating NPR rebroadcast of “Living in America during the Great Depression”.
Low 3: The birth of Jurko vs. Harry
“The brain child actually occurred in a production meeting”, said Harry Teinowitz. “Jurko and I were going back and forth with trivia and it dawned on me – this is the type of bit that made Spike and I so popular!”
Dan McNeil wasn’t sold. “Those Harry and Spike bits were exactly what we want to stay away from”, said Mac. “I’ve often said that I’ve got the keys to this show, but I was overruled on this one. Before I knew it, we had an annoying jingle and we were running with it.”
Dumb and Dumber star Jim Carrey overheard the bit while he was in Chicago telling his agent that he was taking a pass on reprising his role in the sequel “Dumb and Dumberer – When Harry Met Lloyd". “Call up those two morons on AM-1000”, said Carrey, “They’re a perfect fit!”
Low 2: Harry undergoes skin thickening surgery
There’s no actual proof that the surgery took place, but station insiders insist it did. On June 3, 2005, hundreds of Chicagoland dermatologists called the station offering to perform a skin thickening surgery. The offers flooded in after Harry’s skin literally melted on the floor following a barrage of attacks by McNeil. “Why don’t we hire your wife as program director”, chastised McNeil. "We know she's calling the shots at home; maybe she can do the same here”. These comments exposed Harry’s thin skin condition, the weekend surgery was scheduled, and Harry now thanks his partners for the beat down.
Low 1: The post McNeil / Teinowitz stink bomb
No, not more of Jurko’s gas and no, the spat itself wasn’t the low. It was the 10 days which followed with a booth that largely featured Jurko, Silvy and Carmen. “It just wasn’t fair”, said Marc Silverman who started his show 25 minutes early on the fateful day. “Carm and I were on a roll from 7-10. Our whiney, 6th grade spit-spats had really found a groove with listeners, and now we’re called on to fill-in for Dan McNeil. We just weren’t ready for the big time.” AM-1000 program director Jeff Schwartz said that the impact of the spat went way beyond the slot’s piss-poor programming in the weeks that followed. “Jeff Entrotter called and said he was going to pull his business if Mac wasn’t back on the air in 24 hours. Normally I wouldn’t succumb to that kind of bullying, but I had just faxed in my application to ol’ Jeffin’ and I really needed the loan.”
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