That's what I like about the self checkout lanes at Jewels. However, they do let people use credit/debit cards, but there isn't the whole issue w/ checks & shit. And best of all, no fuckwit bagging my shit! w00t!

With a discount.

Without rules of etiquette society breaks down. Bringing 15 items to the 12 limit express line is a slippery slope, my friends. Such behavior must not be allowed to stand.

Nearly every week at an OTB I am forced to verbally savage some ignoramus who has no regard for those around him.

When I first began attending the races in the early 80s, crowds of 15,000 were not uncommon on weekend nights. I quickly learned how to call off my bets efficiently, lest those waiting fifteen deep behind me begin screaming at the top of their lungs. It was a right of passage. You learned out of fear.

These days, with small crowds, many guys- particularly older guys who should know better- seem to think they are in their living rooms rather than a public betting parlor. They approach the window, and spread out the Form, making selections right there in front of the teller. Of course, the lazy teller cares not. It used to be if your window was selling less tickets than others, a supervisor would call you out. Now there are two or three windows open and nothing to compare. I bully these dime superfecta wizards the same way I would bully a guy with extra items in the express lane.

And don't get me started on Critical Mass.

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Don't take it personally.

Is putting groceries in a bag that difficult, Joe?

umn...why are the numbers you're posting seemingly in a different font? or is just me ?

1000
100
test

i shop at jewel alot too..i don't expect a discount for bagging my own groceries...but i hate that i was forced to get a jewel card because there is a major difference in prices with that card on food..sometimes as much as 40%.

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Fat Old Ugly Caller Bob at the Food Store Today was a great Pearl Jam B-side.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

I find the card to be better than having to clip coupons, like at Walgreen's.

I think some people take it upon themselves to get a "self checkout" discount.


This thread is great


Ike, 18 is way too much and you know it. You think the rule should be changed to "fits in the small basket" = Exrpess lane eligible thats fine but what you did is way over the line as it currently stands.

are you fuckin serious? so, once i got it all laid out on the counter and i notice its too many items, what am i supposed to do? pick it all up and move to another lane? youre a retard, "way over the line".

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I have a hard time believing that you underestimated your count by 6.

18 items doesnt look or feel like 12. To say nothing of the fact that everyone has an internal counter when they are planning to use the express lane.

Im not saying you had to pick up and move aisles, but it was YOUR mistake.

The fat woman just pointed it out.

Come to think of it you should have asked her if she would mind taking 6 of your items in her transaction and you'd pay her for it to keep everything on the up and up. She would have had nothing to say.

What if you buy 20 envelopes of Kool-Aid?

Thats way too much Kool-Aid


I dont know. Do you guys wanna open up the express lane to a case by case basis?

I dont think that would work out well.

Kool-Aid and the self checkout do not mix well. They are so light they do not register on the scale and thus issues occur unless you throw the packet with some force onto the bagging area.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

This is far superior than what I would've written .... POTD nomination (is that nonsense still going on?!?).

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

That is a bitch! Sometimes that thing fucks up w/ packaging that isn't "light".

God, this hurts!

Two guys who I love and adore must hand in their man cards.

Ike and Ugie, SERIOUSLY!

I have never, never, never encounter a man who was over the stated limit. I even take special glee in counting out loud when I notice that the female in front of me has so many more than the limit. I do not mind 1 or 2, but when you CANNOT COUNT TO 12 I have a problem.

Ike and Ugie, please share with the rest of us your educational bacground so we can make sure that none of our relatives go to these "bastions" of education.

It's not difficult at all. But why would I work for Jewel for free? What next? A mechanic that wants to charge me for changing my own oil? The cashiers are included in the price of the groceries.

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Don't take it personally.

any dude who sits there and counts their groceries is george costanza

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Totally agree on Ugie. His posts in this thread were unreal.

so if you are at jewel and there is 2 teenage kids bagging for 5 cashiers you will wait for the cashier to scan all items..then bag your groceries? or wait for the kid to get your lane?...i bag myself ..pay and get the hell out of there

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Somehow he thinks I'm ugie it appears. This is not the first time.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

No, I don't bag my own fucking groceries. I can't believe someone might find that odd. Do you clean your own table at a restaurant if they're short on busboys?

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Don't take it personally.

i don't leave a tip at jewel or expect to be waited on...apples/oranges

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I find grocery store experiences to be less than desirable. Whatever allows me to get out of there as soon as possible and with as little human interaction as possible works for me and that is the self checkout.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

His best work yet! Ha ha!

I have NEVER entered an express lane with more than the limit. It is my duty as a citizen to carefully count in my head the number of items I have. And my time is very valuable! But not so valuable that I will participate in anarchy.

Joe Rod Road is correct. Since the store does not want to offend a customer, public shaming is the only answer. If I am in the express lane behind someone with too many items, I almost always loudly grumble about this, so that the offender gets the message. If they look at me funny, they get the evil eye. If the person has a motorcycle gang jacket, I will let it slide.

I also refuse to bag my own groceries. That is not my job, and there is no upside in it for me.

I also shame people at the gas station, when I am trying to buy a soda and the person in front of me on line is buying scratch off lottery tickets, or turning in his (almost always losing) lottery tickets from the night before. Please, fool, my retirement plans do not include playing the lottery! I want to get to my place of employment! You should look into it!

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To me it isn't really the same thing. It's not like going to the restaurant and walking up to the kitchen and picking up your own food, which is a better comparison, since car work takes skill and bagging doesn't. It's just that I'm very picky to how my things are bagged, so I don't mind it.

It's not really apples/oranges at all. You're doing work that you're already paying for. I often see rich North Shore machers grab a rag at Crossroads Car Wash and start helping the Mexicans wipe down their cars after they've paid fifteen or twenty bucks for a wash. I wouldn't do that either.

I don't bag groceries. I don't wash cars. And I don't bus tables. I've done two of those things when I was getting paid for them. It's not my job now. Bagging your own fucking groceries is like paying the caddy to ride in the cart while you carry your own clubs.

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Don't take it personally.

The 20 packs of Kool-aid was a joke. I don't go into the Xpress line w/ more than the limit, unless it may be one. With the self checkout, I may cheat a bit more, as I did yesterday and bought 20+ items.

I also have a firm no cart policy. If I can't fit it into the basket then I don't need it. Navigating a basket around the store is hard enough. I can't imagine navigating with a cart with all the 3OOlb'ers in the store.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

I despise the self checkout lane almost as much as I hate analogies.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost