Participation ribbons for everyone, as in PBR

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“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”

Lesson learned: Don't try to handicap golfers you've never seen, especially early in the season when none are in form. They will likely overstate their abilities.

Coast, from the looks of the scores, they can do nothing but overstate their abilities. Embarrassing.

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We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails.- Eric Hoffer

The conditions and the course must have been tough. Not to mention the possible influence of beer.

Guys, guys, golf is a game of inches and various other measurements.

We were just 10 or 12 putts away from turning that score around. It was thisclose.

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You know me like that.

I'll let the other guys tell stories. Theirs are probably better - seeing a Woodridge Ryan and others working the room along with Harry, I imagine they got the lowdown on the crowd.

I was too busy identifying which horses would be losing races across the country to mingle too much. But, the Nocioni song guy was pretty cool and Bongwater Chad made an appearance (the other guys were talking to him for a while). I enjoyed meeting donspiracy, NSJ, Hawkeye, MUS, Doug, and WR.

It was a good time - beer, food, gambling - nothing wrong with that trifecta.

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You know me like that.

Damn. You MUST have played like shit to not mention golf in that sentence.

I've played better but I don't think I embarassed myself - except here on the board.

But, I do that everyday. The sun will still come up tomorrow.

The golf was good too, so what is that? a superfecta? Horse racing - not my thing.

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You know me like that.

Well, if I heard him right, Mac gave my love parents as -


+


I heard Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods were playing somewhere in Carolina, I think. Are there other black people that play golf?

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You know me like that.

You look like them or do you have a reputation of being one the most disliked players in the league and you like BJs but don't consider them sexual.

No, he looks like them...a lot. Much less dignified though

I feel your pain Hawkeye.

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You know me like that.

plane just landed in Canada...i'm going to bed.
recap sometime tomorrow.

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@audioidkid

We had a great time in our group. Coast, I believe that we covered our end - getting three shots a side, we ended up with a net -2. The push that the Dr. alluded to was because of an infraction on their side, not ours.

It probably would have been a lot better had it not been for the fact that only one person, Doug, had even played this year. It took our group three or four holes to even get going. Put this event in September, and we're making things a little more balanced.

I was disappointed that no one from the board made it out though - I kept taking a look at every woman who walked through to see if they were pregnant, since that would be the only easily identifiable person; considering Doug has met just about everyone on this board, and he said he didn't see anyone outside of Bongwater Chad, I'll assume no one else was there.

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Sure that was the only reason. Once you saw they weren't did you keep looking?

muh...tired...no posting...but tomorrow..things....beer....food. money...putt....miss...damn....sleep

By the way, Doc - your love parents were given as Roe Conn and AJ, not Clinton (unless I missed an update).

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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Actually I've heard some combo of this...


+

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You know me like that.

Wow, you should be a publicist.

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May 1, 2007 - CSFMB Civil War
“Those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it.”

Here's my brief recap:

7:30 am - 5 cell phone convesations with the car with Doug, Hawkeye, and WR about shortcuts to avoid traffic on the way down.

8:30 - Arrive at Balmoral and having a Miller beer shoved in my hand.

8:35 - Meet Kelly from Mike and Mike Sandwichgate fame and talking about how they beat that story in the ground for TWO days.

9:00 - Having separate convesations with Mac, Jurko and Harry. Those guys know where there bread is buttered and spent a lot of one on one time with listeners to talk about whatever.

9:15 - Meeting Doug, Hawkeye, Scholar, the good Dr, Donspiracy and Woodridge Ryan before we teed of and recounting the highly bizarre week on CSFMB.

9:30 – Teeing off and realizing that Donspiracy’s victory in the Dr’s sweeps ensured that I would not be the worst golfer on the course.

10:00 – Third beer finished off.

10:30 – Watching the Dr.’s fourth 350+ yard drive of the day.

11:00 – Watching the Dr. post our scores again and hearing some of the non-witty feedback that ensued.

12:00 – Convincing the beer lady to stock up on Vodka and Bloody Mary mix and meeting back up with her 20 minutes later. A lack of alcohol consumption was not going to be a problem (which I understand was a problem at times last year).

12:30 – Spotting a smoking hot chick on sunbathing on the deck of a house off the 12th fairway.

12:31 – Having my single buddy drive our cart all the way over to her outdoor deck to see if he could get her number.

12:32 – Confirming what we expected from 50 yards away. This chick was hot.

12:33 – Having her less than hot friend emerge from the house and realizing they were both real estate agents who wanted us to stop by for cookies after golf.

12:34 - My friend getting the number . . . of the ugly old chick.

1:00 – Spotting the sizeable Michael Sheehan of No, No, Nocioini fame trying to twirl his 5 iron after he finished his first 12 pack of beer.

2:00 – Finally putting some sunscreen on after realizing that I was lit up like a lobster. The twenty beers we had in our cart are now gone.

3:00 – Arriving at the park for the start of the show.

3:15 – Attacking the buffet of wings, Italian beef, pasta, samiches, and Italian sausage to try to soak up the beer and vodka in the stomach.

3:45 – Live performance by Michael Sheehan. Much better live than recorded. Everyone joining in and lighters lit up afterwards for more.

4:15 – Looking down on the main floor at a long haired guy wearing a a wife beater, tattoos from shoulder to wrist on both arms and a pierced lip lighting up smoke after smoke.

4:16 – Having Doug say, "Man, if I ever pictured what Bongwater Chad looked like, it would be like THAT guy".

4:17 – Having Mac confirm that WAS Bongwater chad.

4:18 – Watching Doug, Ryan, MUS, et. al immediately head downstairs to converge on the legend among Chicago sports radio callers.

4:30 – Personally thanking Justin Craig for the recent changes at the station. Confirming that he does read the board and is happy that it exists.

4:45 – Watching Mac and Harry carry on the show while Jurko was taking off his socks and picking the crap off his legs from his harness race with Harry.

5:00 – Michael Sheehan is now hammered. He’s been sitting alone writing lyrics for his next song for two hours. His shirt is bright red; his sunburn is more so.

5:15 – Dr. Ken is checking the boards and tells me that Wheaton Zach has nothing going on and has started some lame thread about me involving a used tampon.

5:30 – Hawkeye starts placing OTB bets and winning. The Dr. give him 20 bucks and tells him to place a bet for him. The Dr. wins with Hawkeye’s bet, but it is Ken's only win of the night.

5:45 – Park management distributes free passes to a new strip club which has opened up across the street. Not enough to go around.

6:00 – Show ends and Mac, Jurko and Harry are served the largest chunk of prime rib I’ve ever seen. Jurko hoards his and it’s finished in 10 minutes. Mac cuts his up and serves it to the group.

6:10: I’m driving so I switch over to Pepsi and water.

6:30 – Bongwater is now hammered and going off on long diatribes. He doesn’t post on the board because he doesn’t have Internet access and he’s afraid of computers. He tells Mac and a group of guys that we may enjoy listening to our IPods now, but soon, our IPods will be listening to us. Weird.

7:00 – Ryan’s back at the Cashier who is counting off his winnings twenty by twenty.

7:20 – Balmoral racing begins.

7:45 – I place a combo bet that Horse 1 will win and Horse 2 will Place.

7:50 – Horse 1 wins and Horse 2 places. I'm in the big money and show my ticket to Doug, Ryan, and Ken. Doug’s pissed because he had #5.

7:52 – Announcement made that Horse 2 is now disqualified. I lose my winnings and Doug goes to collect his.

8:00 – Harry’s bottle of tequila is now cashed. Michael Sheehan waves goodbye to the group to the chants of NOCIONI. I hope he's not driving.

8:10 – Jurko’s horse comes close, but misses at the finish. He slams his program, kicks chairs and puts half his body over the ledge (15 foot drop).

8:12 – Management approaches Adam D., and in a polite way admonishes the rowdiness.

9:00 – My buddy is still drinking. I’ve held off for the past three hours, so I’m the designated driver. As we head out, Hawkeye is back at the Cashier who again is dolling out a huge stack of twenties to him.

10:30 – Finally get home and pass out while telling the wife about the day.

Great day and great to meet the guys from the board and meet some new guys.

maniversarry from my perspective:
met up with Ryan at hawkeye's joint around 7:00.
very nice digs btw...
got coffee and hit the road. NSJ was giving cell phone traffic updates as they were about 25 minutes ahead of us.
arrived around 8:30.
the first thing we all noticed when we got out of the car was that it was fucking cold and windy in Crete.
In the process of bundling up, we found Paul.
we signed in, got our beer coozies, hats, rocks glass, towels, etc...

met up with NSJ, donspiracy, Dr. Ken, Mike Sheehan (NoNoNoSEEOHNEE), and J's buddy.
MJH talked for a bit and welcomed and thanked us all for attending. The Balmoral Woods guy spoke and we soon loaded into our carts.

the cart parade headed out to their respective holes. the old guy leading our troop stopped every 30 feet to make sure the 10 carts behind him didn't suddenly disappear. i never got cart sick before....

we all started off a little poor golfing, but we came into our games a bit. by hole 3 or 4, Paul was driving 270 like it was 3 foot putt. Ryan and Eric (hawkeye) started playing their mid irons well and i helped with the short chips. we all missed putts the same. I think we averaged about 1.5-1.75 putts for the round. 6-8 near misses. but some really pretty shots by all of us. pix were taken. Eric has the scorecard, i think. we finished +4.

done golfing around 2:30. a little tired, slightly buzzed, but excited about heading over the track and eating. we walked into the track right as the open for MJH was happening. Harry was in rare form if you heard the first 15 minutes of the show. I believe Harry said "We love the testicle challenged" eliciting fits of laughter by the peanut gallery.

we watched and listened to the show. bongwater chad showed up. more pix were taken. more conversation about guy stuff while checking out the hottie ESPN sales girl, Lindsey, and the now famous Kelly (getter of the Greenie Starbuck's turkey sandwich)

the jurko vs. harry harness race was hilarious
board members were introduded to MJH, etc...show ended.
the guys ate. we ate again. Mac was serving prime rib to everyone. everyone drank.

btw....
hawkeye and donspiracy are the resident horse racing & harness racing handicappers as they did EXTREMELY WELL for themselves yesterday. hawkeye easily did the best $$$ out of everyone in attendance.

ton of pix taken...hopefully hawkeye can get them uploaded early next week.
awesome time. let's do it next wednesday!!!

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@audioidkid

Sounds familiar Ryan:

i thought i could get away with a lame thread as long as no one was there to see it. and yes, i had nothing going on...and still don't.

great run-downs, you and doug. sounds like a great day! now GET BACK TO WORK

Glad you guys are back I thought maybe you'd quit the board.

Hey

Sounds like a good time.

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May 1, 2007 - CSFMB Civil War
“Those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it.”

So is this accurate?

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“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”

There's no way it could have been that good

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"Tubby? Oh yes, Tubby."

The only thing was neat were the martinis we got from the park's fully stocked bar.

It's very good to hear that my dream bubble of what Bongwater Chad looked like was right on. Also great that he will never know my thoughts and can't come up here and kick my ass.

sounds like it was better than last year- glad you are now all rich and famous

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SideshowBob311: "Sadly enough, I think we're the "intelligent" portion of the sports radio fanbase".
"I make fun of whoever sucks, including me"- Harry 11/30/07