Whoa bros! Yesterday was like fucking sick, brah. First the weather was tight as shit, and me and my bros were all decked out in our green polos to boom some motherfuckers and guzzle M-Li's. Because it was St. Patty's Day we hit up the Kilt...holy shit, bro. These chicks were fucking hot like miami beach. One of them kinda looked like Morgan Danner from senior year biology but I doubt it was her. She like went to Kentucky or some shit.

Anylays, bros, Brendan and Troy were all, "Hey where are the games at?" Brendan was tryin' to not fuck his bracket up like last year. He actually had Duke losing in the first round so he was all bragging about it and shit. Troy though--this dumb motherfucker, he's got Missouri in the finals! Hahahah! What a fucking knob bro! Well, we saw a preview for that Will Ferrell spanish move coming out which looks totes hilar, when all the sudden this weaksauce bromey comes up to us and starts shit with Troy because he's staring at his girlfriend. He's all, "Is that Megan Bonfeld? We went to high school with her at Naperville North." and this fucking doucher is all, no it's not megan so stop fucking looking at her. Brendan's all, Whoa bro, chill the fuck out. And finally, our black friend Nate who we call Big N, he comes over and he's like is there a problem? Motherfucker was SKERRED bro! Straight up Wesley Snipesed that bitch. So he left us alone.

Then we see T-Y later at Louie and he's all did you get any numbers? Hey bro, night was young...and yeah we did end up with digits, no doubt. Woulda like to tap one of those waitresses at Kilt but fuck bro those chicks are all drama. This one, Aspen Tyler, she was a total fucking insane b, bro. She went out with this dude I used to work with, Hanson, who was a fucking moron anyway but he gave some sage advice...stay away from those drama bitches. I already know because of that bitch Kim Barkdoll I was with forEVER and a year, bros. For realsies, that shit was sad as fuck.

But it was all good times, broheims.

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Dude, you are my bro.

Driving home from Mishity, IN I saw the Calumet Ave stop of the Metro? PACKED with these guys! (and girls)

I was so damn tired I crashed at 9:30 Sat night, but even before that walking around wrigley I would say 1 of every 4 people were drunk before 4 PM!

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

This happens for every Cubs home day game.

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They were drunk well before 4 pm.....more like 10 am. This weekend wasn't as bad as last weekend though.

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Driving around Lincoln Park at 2 in the afternoon, every bar had a line and every building with a deck had a party going on

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.