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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:01 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
I'm not making shit up for effect or combining characters the way David Sedaris does.


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:08 pm 
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JORR is a Mittyesque.


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:09 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
beni hanna wrote:
JORR if you are still running 25/wk...salut.


Thanks, beni. I still get five miles most days, but sometimes my knees force me to take a little break. I run outside all year long too. I don't care how hot or cold it is. You couldn't really tell it by looking at me though. I'm not put together like a typical distance runner. I'm more like Emmit Smith. Or maybe Juan Uribe. :lol:

But you can't really judge a book by its cover. One time a skinny guy followed my pace for about two miles along the Evanston lakefront and out onto the landfill. We must have covered it in about fifteen minutes. When we reached the north end of the campus where the observatory used to be and where the "House that Kelly Amonte-Hiller Built" is now, I turned around and this guy said to me, "You carry your weight well". :lol: Asshole.

Another run I'll never forget was on a really hot summer day. I was kind of lethargic for the first half of the six-miler I was doing so I looked for a target to motivate me during the back half. Sometimes I like to stalk another guy's pace to keep me interested, but I try not to be obnoxious. I'll usually lay back a bit instead of running right on top of him. So on this particular day I saw what looked like an old guy about a quarter-mile in front of me. I figured I could make that up in the space of three miles and catch him. It turned out he was going a little more than I thought, but I picked up my pace and kept cutting into the gap. I was within about fifty yards and I could see he was probably about 65 or 70 years old. I had about a mile left to go so I relaxed a little. When I got in my last half-mile I cranked it up to pass him. He started shoulder checking. He knew I was back there and I guess he could feel I was shooting for him. He picked it up a little, but I was going really good. Finally, with about a quarter mile left I pulled alongside him. He looked over- this motherfucker wasn't even breathing hard- and he said, "Hey kid, catch this!" and took off on a dead sprint. I took about three quick steps before giving up. He was gone like that. :lol:

The moral of the story is, maybe bernstein can leap tall buildings in a single bound.


And that old man was classic punk rocker George Gill - any mid-70s British punk fans will know who I'm talking about.

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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:11 pm 
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Dr. Ken with "the rest of the story"! :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 6:22 pm 
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Spaulding wrote:
JORR is a Mittyesque.


Mittyesque? Hyperthymesia?

You're going to thesaurus.com to try to impress everybody. :P


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 9:40 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
beni hanna wrote:
JORR if you are still running 25/wk...salut.


Thanks, beni. I still get five miles most days, but sometimes my knees force me to take a little break. I run outside all year long too. I don't care how hot or cold it is. You couldn't really tell it by looking at me though. I'm not put together like a typical distance runner. I'm more like Emmit Smith. Or maybe Juan Uribe. :lol:

But you can't really judge a book by its cover. One time a skinny guy followed my pace for about two miles along the Evanston lakefront and out onto the landfill. We must have covered it in about fifteen minutes. When we reached the north end of the campus where the observatory used to be and where the "House that Kelly Amonte-Hiller Built" is now, I turned around and this guy said to me, "You carry your weight well". :lol: Asshole.

Another run I'll never forget was on a really hot summer day. I was kind of lethargic for the first half of the six-miler I was doing so I looked for a target to motivate me during the back half. Sometimes I like to stalk another guy's pace to keep me interested, but I try not to be obnoxious. I'll usually lay back a bit instead of running right on top of him. So on this particular day I saw what looked like an old guy about a quarter-mile in front of me. I figured I could make that up in the space of three miles and catch him. It turned out he was going a little more than I thought, but I picked up my pace and kept cutting into the gap. I was within about fifty yards and I could see he was probably about 65 or 70 years old. I had about a mile left to go so I relaxed a little. When I got in my last half-mile I cranked it up to pass him. He started shoulder checking. He knew I was back there and I guess he could feel I was shooting for him. He picked it up a little, but I was going really good. Finally, with about a quarter mile left I pulled alongside him. He looked over- this motherfucker wasn't even breathing hard- and he said, "Hey kid, catch this!" and took off on a dead sprint. I took about three quick steps before giving up. He was gone like that. :lol:

The moral of the story is, maybe bernstein can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Good times. I am not the man I used to be. Sing along if you like. I gotta JORR story or two from back in the day I will try and drop when I can to piss off good dolphin.


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 10:48 am 
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Why would it piss me off? Am I in the story?

I used to run five miles a day all the time before I had kids. One day one of my friends asked me if I had run that day and everyone else in the group laughed because they didn't think I ran at all. I cannot escape this fat suit no matter what I do. Even in high school, at the top of my exercise and a good diet, I wasn't thin. The good side of the genetic makeup is that I will live a long life. I can't wait to tease Frank's grandchildren when they log on to this site.

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 4:40 pm 
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Beardown wrote:
Mittyesque? Hyperthymesia?

You're going to thesaurus.com to try to impress everybody. :P


I'd post my boobs if I wanted to impress everybody. The hyperthymesia I knew because Marilu Henner has it. I think I saw it on a biography or taxi type show. I looked up the spelling. And really who doesn't know Walter Mitty?

I'm chubby and wide no matter what I do too, dolphin. I could be 20 lbs less and I'd still look the same.


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 9:11 pm 
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Spaulding wrote:
The hyperthymesia I knew because Marilu Henner has it.


Really? Her cousin Julia is a friend of mine. I'm pretty sure Marilu is a Madonna High School girl. I always liked Madonna girls.

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 10:40 pm 
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Spaulding wrote:
Beardown wrote:
Mittyesque? Hyperthymesia?

You're going to thesaurus.com to try to impress everybody. :P


I'd post my boobs if I wanted to impress everybody.


If this ever happened that thread would set a CSFMB record for views. You'd be the talk of ESPN 1000 and The Score.


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 11:04 pm 
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Beardown wrote:
Spaulding wrote:
Beardown wrote:
Mittyesque? Hyperthymesia?

You're going to thesaurus.com to try to impress everybody. :P


I'd post my boobs if I wanted to impress everybody.


If this ever happened that thread would set a CSFMB record for views. You'd be the talk of ESPN 1000 and The Score.


Are we fapping? Is it fap time yet? No?

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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 11:03 am 
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i thought dan was too smart to say dumb things like this...he was just laughing at skip clueless last week for his bullshit h.s. war stories

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 8:14 am 
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Spaulding wrote:

I'm chubby and wide no matter what I do too, dolphin. I could be 20 lbs less and I'd still look the same.


If you are chubby and wide, then what am I?

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:50 am 
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A hunk, a hunk of burning love.

I'm wide side to side and since after college I've carried about 10-15 pounds extra. It bothers me a little that I don't have the discipline or drive to get rid of it. I've worked pretty hard at it at times and have had little progress. I don't look much different, I guess, but it's there.


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:54 pm 
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I think Bernsie is more like Paul Robeson than Thorpe. I hear Dan does a mean rendition of Old Man River.

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:38 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Why would it piss me off?

Nah, more along the lines of a story about the excitement of stopping traffic for several hours.

Back in the day, there was a little race up a mountain I liked to run. They limited entries to 400 supposedly to conserve the trail but really if they had more someone would be accidentally pushed over a cliff. My personal goal was to try and beat 1:30 for the 9.2 mile course. Never did it. The real bitch is the race elevation starts at about 6100 and ends about 10,600. The last year I ran it the new Governor entered the race. Gary Johnson may be known to some as he wanted to legalize pot, and now is your 2012 Libertarian Party Presidential candidate. The guy was a cocky 40 something and no way he was going to beat me. At the start of the race he and his group of about 5 guys got to the front for the photo op. Freaking poseur. First two miles were on blacktop and I had passed his ass almost immediately. When I get to the trail head I cannot see him, so he had to be at least 200 yards back. Guv Poseur extraordinaire. 5 miles in I am feeling decent. The trail is 1 person wide and you have to be careful passing. I had passed a few, but for the most part just fell in with a couple of guys to try and hang with them to the top. We hit the last switchback before reaching tree level and there is the Gov and his security guys just below us. Bastard. I pick up the pace and ditch the guys I was with. Big mistake. Since the terrain is uneven, you have to take smaller steps. If you over extend your leg it can strain the ligaments attaching your femur to the hip, which I did. I had to stop and rest it, moved off the trail and watched the Gov's entourage breeze by. Quite the humiliating experience. He beat me by at least 8 minutes. I came to find out he was a really good athlete and I wasn't beating him in any race longer than a 5k anyway.

Fast forward to this weekend. I went for a walk and got to a little track at Leland/Clark. There is a 1/5 mile track there, so I pull out the stop watch and jog it as best I can. 2:05...oh how the mighty have fallen.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:45 am 
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beni hanna wrote:
Fast forward to this weekend. I went for a walk and got to a little track at Leland/Clark. There is a 1/5 mile track there, so I pull out the stop watch and jog it as best I can. 2:05...oh how the mighty have fallen.



You should have just grabbed a shot and a beer at Carol's. :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:50 am 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
beni hanna wrote:
Fast forward to this weekend. I went for a walk and got to a little track at Leland/Clark. There is a 1/5 mile track there, so I pull out the stop watch and jog it as best I can. 2:05...oh how the mighty have fallen.



You should have just grabbed a shot and a beer at Carol's. :lol:

Definitely better use of my time. 55 seconds and zero pain.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:10 pm 
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Well, I got hold of Bernstein's magic shoes over the weekend.


Went out on break and ran a 4.3 40 and finished with a leap over a moving city bus.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:57 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
beni hanna wrote:
Fast forward to this weekend. I went for a walk and got to a little track at Leland/Clark. There is a 1/5 mile track there, so I pull out the stop watch and jog it as best I can. 2:05...oh how the mighty have fallen.



You should have just grabbed a shot and a beer at Carol's. :lol:


Ah the memories. I used to put my first son in the baby stroller and jog around that track back in the day...little shit used to like to try to get toys stuck in the spokes to slow me down and I'd repond by trying to hit every bump...good times

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
beni hanna wrote:
Fast forward to this weekend. I went for a walk and got to a little track at Leland/Clark. There is a 1/5 mile track there, so I pull out the stop watch and jog it as best I can. 2:05...oh how the mighty have fallen.



You should have just grabbed a shot and a beer at Carol's. :lol:


I love that place.

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:36 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Well, I got hold of Bernstein's magic shoes over the weekend.


Went out on break and ran a 4.3 40 and finished with a leap over a moving city bus.


Inspiring!

Image

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:42 pm 
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Killer V wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Well, I got hold of Bernstein's magic shoes over the weekend.


Went out on break and ran a 4.3 40 and finished with a leap over a moving city bus.


Inspiring!

Image


Awesome!

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 9:45 pm 
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Killer V wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Well, I got hold of Bernstein's magic shoes over the weekend.


Went out on break and ran a 4.3 40 and finished with a leap over a moving city bus.


Inspiring!

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OmG that is funny!

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:29 pm 
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Someone please forward that picture to Goff or drinky. I bet that would get some good play around the station offices.

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:30 pm 
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:lol:

Killer V just turned the clock back to when he was funny.

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 5:01 pm 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
:lol:

Killer V just turned the clock back to when he was funny.


Ha! Joke's on you...I've NEVER been funny!

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:23 pm 
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Killer V wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Well, I got hold of Bernstein's magic shoes over the weekend.


Went out on break and ran a 4.3 40 and finished with a leap over a moving city bus.


Inspiring!

Image



Oh my!!!! :lol: :lol: :drunken: :drunken: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:10 pm 
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He didn't really say he could run a 4.35 40, did he?

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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:31 pm 
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Irish Boy wrote:
He didn't really say he could run a 4.35 40, did he?


No. I just threw that in as it was just as ridiculous as the other claims.

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