bez, my home setup is fucking goofy so i've only got 47 secs of open mic before it all went to shit. i can't get good internet here and i don't know how to do it on my phone nor do i want to know.
i need all of your free tracks.... see as a gift to you i'mma do my dj thang and make the definitive bez mix cuz motherfuckers slept on your skill..... seriously in a rap battle i'd bet on you versus anyone, including the whole mount rushmore of rap gods cuz man.... i know we're fam cuz we're both criminally overtalented and underappreciated for our lives of art.... well that's finna change cuz i'm done taking shit from cats like i ain't the fuckin man i mean HOLY SHIT i know all y'all heard my music and it was so cool deleting it cuz everyone's gonna front like OMFG WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?! and give me MUCH NEEDED ADVICE ON HOW OT MAKE RAPS but deep down i know they all cleared me out and saved every cut i ever made cuz "all my trash is treasure, that's how it's perceived" - aceyalone
speaking of, acey must wanna be alone forever cuz holy shit i want to open up for him someday. i dont even have to write cuts i could do 15 mins of freestyle and everyone would walk away going who the fuck is that?!?!?!
doctor vegeta.
now bez, i'm only talking about me in this shout because you need to know that i know that you know. it's time. you're a fucking beast on the mic who needs to be unleashed upon the world.... it's kind of why the world decided to shove alexa damn chung into my world and have her use up 99% of her energy on stalking me..... well first of all it's cuz the world is cool and loves me so if you're gonna have some crazy omnipotent bitch stalking you, seriously, get CHUNGINATEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
secondly, it's cuz like.... you cats are mad fucked in the head. you've been living life WRONG and life decided to pimpslap you with money problems bitch problems and like, you're a good man bez, all you finna do is put a nice supper on the table for your son, who we all know is the #1 priority in your life.... cuz once you realize that there's another life out there dependent on you and it's your responsibility to make sure that kid grows up to do all the things you wanted to do but never could (here in america, on memorial day, let's talk about the concept of upward mobility)
so see, 100% metaphorical here cuz basically see i'm a science fiction writer / improv comedian/actor. i couldn't get into the actual second city academy so i decided to make the actual second city my academy. i've put on a fun show yinyanging my theology so hardcore people seriously don't have any clue which way i'm going.... but i'm brilliant. i've been anti-vanity for so long it got to the point where the world collectively screamed out GET OFF THE CROSS
EMESSIAH@SMOKE.DOPE.ORG !@#$#!@$#!@
and you know, it's all in the name.... sinicalypse. i invented the word.... the sin of the cynical apocalypse. sin to be cynical, ergo sinical. and then there was this australian dude synapse back in #vidgames in the 90s.... caustic australian cuntfest there. there was a little triumverate of us who got accounts from ant and we used to hang out in our own little #, talk shit, trade warez.... oh man this dude m0 is one of the fallen homies i need to find. m0 was always my favorite.... he'd tell me stories about selling pirated playstation games to kids getting out of school in east st louis!!!!
i was gonna link a youtube video of ppl driving around east st louis... but whatever.
see everyone tells me to shutup. fine. i've absorbed that into my repetoire and now i know how to play the game.... however, the best part is that i don't have to shutup cuz when i wanna talk, oh people are gonna bitch and moan and OOOOOHHHH WE HATE YOU but they GOTTA do that..... cuz i'm so damn good at talking/living if they were honest with me they'd be vapid fanboys/fangirls who just wanna suck my dick all day and where's the fun in that?
so the best friends in life, kids, well they always tell you to go fuck yourself and whether or not they admit it, they will laugh when you retort "ok no problem i'm something like god's gift to the artform of masturbation in fact you should see my videos"
SO YEAH BEZ, SORRY, THIS WHOLE BEING INTERESTING THING.... YEAH IT'S A BITCH. BUT HEY LIFE'S A BITCH SO FUCK IT RIGHT NAS?!?!?! * waits for more MUCH NEEDED ADVICE on how to run his damn league *
so yeah bez. fam. sir. it's time.... stop fucking around sending me to soundcloud when you got the damn keys to my fucking unlimited space/bandwith filehost. make yourself a little folder, it'll be hidden from 99% of the public, and embrace your inner scottie and GIVE IT ALL SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN cuz see kool keith was whining for me to make him a mix last month with the promise of (get ready for it) FREE T-SHIRTS.
i still have no t-shirts, he still has no mix.
i don't need a bez t-shirt.... you're getting the damn mix, provided i have tracks to mix. you are gonna be one of my favorite dragons to unleash on the world cuz holy fuck, welp, science fiction writer speaking here..... i must be the antichrist or something. people literally punch me out of jealousy they steal my hat and then after the dragonforce!!!!! penniless after the show i go to a solid lil loop restaurant sit at the bar with a glass of water immediately start letting the hot bartender chick know that i'm doctor love aka your first choice in the love game (i ain't got no competition. only i can fill your prescription! DOCTOR WHOOOOO!!!!) and it's on like alexa chung whenever her 4 remaining braincells start working.
so the guy who owns the restaurant comes up to me and kicks me out. says i can NEVER COME BACK. so i get in his face like "who the fuck do you think i am? i mean you no harm i only wanted nourishment cuz i was just in the middle of an avowed-"metal" show in a fucking moshpit with my $200ish copy of dragon force on my finger showing it off to the band to get the nods and respect that i deserve, so i get kicked out come here and you're telling me that you're too good to let me have a water?
"yes, and NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!" he reiterates
so i'm completely flustered at this point... and yeah i get angry and blow gaskets. when vegeta goes ssj4 (thx bulma. love the hair!) thanks to bulma's high tech ray gun (he never wanted to go ssj3 cuz it would require him looking like a caveman. vegeta doesn't do cavemen as he is a caveman and he clubs women over the head and drags them home... by their hair) so as he goes through the transformation you hear the all-time classic line "OH NO VEGETA'S TURNING INTO A GIANT APE!" AND UMMMMM POST OVER
HOLLA BEZ
_________________
Curious Hair wrote:
Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?
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