so yeah, buffalo wild wings in northbrook. oh my lord, you HAVE to go there... it's just like every other buffalo wild wings in existence. it's like these places come off of an assembly line or something.

anyways, i showed up promptly at 7:37pm... they told us to get there at 6:30, but hey, we had to drop off httpCOLONSLASHSLASHwww.twitter.comSLASHayepow and let's face it, you would too. gotta have your priorities straight and believe me when you look at alex, you're straight. but that's another story for another cadre of pantsless cretins who for once actually kind of live up to the name. CLIFF'S NOTES: YA BWOY SINICALYPSE HANGS OUT WITH HOT WOMEN.

anyways, it was rather nice that i showed up at 7:37 cuz this means i didn't have to wait around and watch other people go. beautiful. so i get in my name is on the list the stuff's setup and HEY I'M UP NEXT. i put down my stuff and they give me three minutes to mull over the topic "DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT THE CUBS?"

well obviously the first answer that comes to my mind is "i'm wearing a goddamn expos jersey DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT THE EXPOS? NO? THE FEELING IS MUTUAL" but instead, you know, i'm playing this straight (i reckon i would have a hard time getting cast as the gay BFF-of-dimes in hollywood flicks anyways) so i went for the gold. i broke 'em off some material about how grandpa is an 80something cubs fan who is the quintessential old timer cubs fan who you have a beer and a shot with... with only 90 seconds i couldn't tell them about his old work buddy arnie dugan who ushered circa section 123 for many years so we used to get shit tickets then around the 3rd inning we'd get to our real seats.... for $10, nope, instead i just went on about the beer and shot it's not about winning it's about the game mentality, then i went on to uncle greg.

my uncle greg is a living breathing shrine to major league baseball. he does 50+ games a year, and if you think about that it's pretty remarkable cuz your first thought is "well there's only 162 games a year" but if you do the math, doing 50 games = ~2 games/week so the man is committed. fortunately, much like the cubs lineup of the late 90s / early 90s featuring the bermuda triangle of blauser orie and servais (uncle greg's term) there is a bermuda triangle of baseball in the area... wrigley, comiskey, and miller park where uncle greg is a partial season ticket holder. they treat you like gods if you do that up there, btw.

i explained how baseball @ wrigley kicks ass this year because any day you up and think "gee, i wanna go to a ballgame" you can show up 10 minutes before the first pitch and get into the lower deck for $5-10. THAT IS THE ESSENCE OF BASEBALL, MY FRIENDS. now idk if i directly answered their question, but my passionate replies about two bonafide cubs lifers who i'm related to should have conveyed the message "YES.... HELL YES!" which is rather ironic given that i'm a hawk quote machine in expos regalia... i must be a baseball fan or something.

i killed the reads too. even tho it wasn't in my head at the time, you can beat your sweet ass (you pantsless cretin) that WWWWWWNNNNNNNBBBBBCCCCCCCCCCCC was on my mind as i killed the closing read with style points. then i took a long artsy walk home tweeting at my girlfriend (believe what you want to believe, but when a crazy shady bitch asks me out over the internet, much like when you're asked if you're a god in ghostbusters, YOU SAY YES!!!!) and she was cool enough to stay up for me and kind of be the foil/age to my babble/tronic3000XL cuz like, holy shit, we need to hang out IRL someday cuz i think she can babble just as much as i do.

so all praise and glory to the hypnotoad yadda yadda yadda and remember guys, the staff told me that i was "far and away the best' out of all the people they saw and welp, that's why i come home and quite possibly hang out bullshitting with one of the hottest chicks on the planet. i grew up listening to b&b but the one guy at the station i'm supercool with is grobber, cuz like, comeon man.... i used to help him with scanner issues at the library. we've talked sports for 30+ minutes on a cigarette break. if you're able to grob with the man the myth the legend, aka les grobstein, what's a little tryout at a buffalo wild wings?

btw if i get the show, i've already got an efnet irc sports legend cab driver from WOOOOSTA mass ready to do a weekly BOSTON SPORTS REPORT WITH MARC_D --- you guys have no idea, i've already got my bumpers picked out and i guarantee i'd have people from all over the damn universe wanting to call up at 4:30am and talk sports with me. lamentably, i kind of suck at talking so i'm going to go and wank off to my imaginary non-existant internet girlfriend. also, i'd maintain i use the internet as a means to remove the typicality of aesthetics and convention from the whole mating process, but then again, i'm a pantsless cretin on the CSFMB. what do i know, other than how to occasionally SHAKE THAT in a dj mix?

also, the 1 for the money 2 for the show 3 to get ready NOW GO KIDS GO would be my intro drop if i ever had a show.

like the drop says, GO KIDS GO!

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good job and I hope you win

If you get the show there is no reason not to go for the exotic broadcast to get some attention. 4 am here is mid day around the world and I'm sure there are some english speaking young reporters who would like to build up a resume by being the score expert in curling, crickett or cock fighting

by the way, if you had a living, breathing human female showing interest last night you better grab onto that like a hungry bear at a salmon run. I'm sure gramps would approve of you getting a little stank on your hang low even if it inconvenienced him for a couple of minutes

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

nah she hooked up with my guy DC, and like, i can't do that to him. even tho she gave me her # added me on fb and added like 5 of my twitter accounts.... if i start going behind my friends' backs to nail their conquests.... no. that's just not me.

there are other mitigating factors that could make such a course of action practically impossible to achieve, and let's just say i'm in a good spot. my life is basically this song on repeat 1 all day so i'm not gonna fuck with that.

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