So, as the obvious favorite of the family I have been asked to present some rememberances at the end of my grandma's funeral. I have not done this before and figured this place has been so helpful with other people's request for information, that this would be the spot to look for advice (be funny, I could use the laugh).

I was thinking about starting it with the joke about the priest and rabbi finishing a round of golf. That should bring the house down.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I had to do the same for my Gram. It wasn't easy to write, and I ended up forgetting the damn notes I had at home so I had to shoot from the hip.

I started out by thanking everybody for the support during a difficult time. I just spoke from the heart, talked a bit about early life, how good a mother she must have been to because my Mom was so great with my sister and I, talked about how much fun she had at my sisters wedding, which like your Gram's 90th was one of her last big hurrah's and the last time some of the family got to see her alive. So I would make sure I talk about that bday party. My Gram had a real beater car the last few years she drove (like an 84 Buick or something, it was loud as hell) so I made a crack about that which seemed appropriate and lightened the mood up a bit.

Maybe something about how she had such a full life and got to see so many things, but never saw the Cubs win a WS, yet the Sox won 2 in her lifetime

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Ive heard once where a eulogy / reflection included humor and it really was awkward. Maybe try a top ten list of things Grandma will be asking God when they meet. You could also just give a good story. I find these work best.

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I'm not really going to use the priest/rabbi joke as it invovles both pedophilia and anti semitism

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I went to a memorial service Saturday, and they did something pretty cool at it. There was someone who started things off with some nice stories. He handed it over to one of the family members, who also shared some heartfelt things. Then, she must've set it up beforehand, but she asked people at the service to stand up with their stories, too.

So, if you have the opportunity, I would ask a few people you know who aren't shy about speaking in public and have some nice stories, to get up and share a couple.

After the others shared their rememberances, the person who started things ended the proceedings with a couple of shorter stories. Then, a slideshow was played with pictures of the person shown from different eras of their life. That was powerful.

A few pointers

-Break the Ice by doing the Rodney Dangerfield Back to School warm up of armpit farting and testing the wind
-Tell everyone there what Grandma really thought of them
-Swear a lot
-Half way thru it start talking to yourself "I promised I wouldnt go off in a church, I promised...."
-Start calling people out because they "probably wont show up" for your funeral

Force everyone to do a Jaeger bomb because "she would have wanted us to".

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

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I had to do the same thing for my grandmother, I couldn't think of anything so I just did a spoken version of take me out to the ball game... She would always tell me that Steve Stone was gay... She really hated that man...

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team Mully & Hanley
team Meatpants

I did it for mom & proud to have done so. Just tell her story. born, raised, married,...etc...what was important to her, what you & others will miss about her....what you will always remember about her. Her significant points in her life. Our family likes to laugh...I had some humor in mine.....and it went over very well.

Good luck & condolences on your loss.

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Proud to be UNVERIFIED.

I am not good at the funny, but here a few possible ideas to jog your memory for talking points folks may remember fondly.


Given your healthy sense of self, did she ever knock you down to size? Any funny discipline stories, or methods used on multiple family members? Where did she demand the most respect: kitchen, church, work, babysitting? Did she talk a lot? What was her favorite thing to talk about? When was the best time to be at her house, or with her (Pulaski day, making polish delights, recreating the old country Christmas dinner with Carp, canned veges, potatoes w/ kraut and jellied sweets)? Any words you and the family never understood until later that were pretty funny? Did every child get a hand knitted quilt (or something) to remember her by? What was your favorite memory of Grandma and Grandad together, if known or relevant?

I am sure the speech will go fine. Walkerman's post was very good.

Old country? My family practically came over on the Mayflower...relative to most Eastern Europeans.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Then it might not apply. A couple of years ago (about the time you were asking for birthday thoughts) a thread came out talking about traditions. Several folks had family originally from another country. The gist of the thought was my favorite moment at Christmas actually took place with a family other than my own. The mother of a friend re-created a Slovakian Christmas that took a couple of years to get used to. We would clear out a bedroom and family room and have 20 or so people sit down for the old school meal. She was a second generation citizen and wanted to keep the tradition going. Once you sat down, no one could get up until dinner was over. Strange food and a lot of fun. That mother ran that thing, loved doing it, and will forever be remembered by her family/friends for giving them that experience.

Maybe it triggers something, maybe it doesn't.

Pm shakes and have him write it for you, everyone will remember it for sure.

While very sad and sorry for your loss, when I did a similar thing at my grandmother's I mixed in some humor as it is sad but expected when a 90+ person dies. Humor at a younger persons funeral is bad, but here it may be a good thing.
I made a few joke about my grandma's social life as she was always up to something. People told me afterward it was nice to smile and remember the funny stories.

If all else fails, make some outrageous shit up.

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My most vivid memory of your grandma was that time you posted to inform us of her passing.

You're welcome.

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Both my grandmothers passed in 2010, but I was only granted leave for one of the wake/funerals. As Vincent said, by that point it was expected and my oldest uncle gave a really memorable speech that was mostly emotional but had humor mixed in as well and it was good to see the relatives that knew her best smile amid their tears. It was a great speech. I think as long as you speak sincerely there will be nothing wrong or awkward about using humor or about the speech itself.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Interpretive dance. Boom.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Sorry for your loss Good Dolphin.

I wish you luck, because if I had to do it for my Grandma, I would probably start crying before I started. WHen my Grandpa died, the oldest Grandkid read a passage from a book.

If you can do it, just throw in some good stories and probably 1 or 2 funny lines. Add in that she was loved by a lot of people and made everybody feel special.

absoultely nailed it. I had them laughing. I had them crying. It was really some of the best work in my life not only for the content but for the delivery. It was Sir Lawrence Olivier Holmes level good.

I'm really happy I was asked to perform this task. The preparation was absolutely cathartic. I would receommend preparing this type of speech to anyone who has lost a loved one, even if it is not for presentation before an audience. It forces you to remember the greatness of a life and emotionally brings you back to those special moments in life. I ran through a lifetime of emotions at the computer.

Unfortunately it was wasted on a senior crowd of family members. If I gave this in front of a MILFish audience I woud have had moist ladies handing me their house keys as I walked out of church.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

This is part of the reason you are shockingly in my top 5 favorite board members. I'm always the guy asked to do these types of things, and stress about it until it's done.

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