as I was leaving work on Friday a bum approached me for money. I didn't give him anything and he called me a racist asshole. Did he have some insight into my soul that I, myself, don't acknowledge or did the fumes of urine cooked in the summer heat, wafting up from his pants addle his brain? Boardmembers, do I need to change or should I dismiss his curse out of hand?

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I never thought you were an asshole.

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You know me like that.

So he was white?

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Spit in his face next time.

Tell him you only have credit cards.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

"No cash, man, sorry"

Well, you are a White Sox fan.

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Of course I occasionally get called the same thing. BFD.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

One day at the CVS by my crib, a brother asked me for some money...and before he could even finish his thought, I said "I ain't got it, I ain't got it", all while shaking my head and walking away.

Then I heard him say "That's alright...I'm just gonna find one of these rich white people to help me out".

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Nice work dolphin. Too cheap to spend a dime to not be racist.

You know what kills me, Kamps? When you get the guy downtown who says, "Man bruh, I'm 75 cents short to get on this train." I'm standing there thinking, "N*gga, why the fuck would you take the train downtown if you knew you didn't have a way to get back?"

The fact is though, I know it's a hustle anyway. If I gave the dude 75 cents, he'd just ask the next person for 75 more. Next time that happens, I'll just offer to buy him a fare card and see what he says.

Not only that, but a guy on the SouthShore did the same thing a few years ago. He hopped his dumb ass on the train hoping he could get enough people on the train to pay for his ticket by going down the isle begging for change.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Must have thought you were a republican.

I have 2 standard replies when bums ask me for money:

1: "Man, I was just about to ask you the same thing."

2. "sorry, all I have are 20s and 100s"

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I thought Mac was white?

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Some people only see black and white. Assholes tend to only see brown.

Favorite scam is the guy who has some piece of equipment saying that he's diabetic and needs money for meds.

I offered to with the guy and pay for his meds with my debit card. He just looked at me, pissed offed and shook his head. Not sure what I would've done if he was serious though.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

That happened to me at the same CVS. Young cat too.

Brother was like "Man, I need 50 cent so I can get on the train"....So I give him some change and head home.

About an hour or so later, I head back to the CVS (I live literally a block away), and dude is still out there.

I ask him "Hey man, I thought I gave you enough?"

And he says "Yeah but I'm trying to hustle for just a little more".




He messed it up for everybody at that point.

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Don't let it bother you man. Guy was a jerk.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

I thought this thread was going to be about Good Dolphin sticking his fingers in Chas' pooper.

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He must have thought you were Chas.

I had a guy at Union Station ask me for money to get back home to Milwaukee. I gave him a dollar. Who lies about going home to Milwaukee?

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All this time I have been going around giving people the exact change they asked for the bus fare they were hustling me? Damn it.

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No way are you racist.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Sometimes as they're speaking I just shake my head no and say "sorry". Usually I get the "God Bless You", which is homeless speak for "Go Fuck Yourself".

There are two homeless people who get on my nerves regularly. One is this young white guy, I assume a meth head. He always asks for money for him "and his sister" so they could get a sandwich @ McDonald's. He's regularly on the Orange Line.

Another is the black chick who used to sell Streetwise (now World's Finest bars) outside of the BofA on Clark street north of Wendy's. She's always singing the same loud ass, stupid fucking song. OVER and OVER.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

See now, this is where it's an advantage to actually being a racist asshole. This kind of situation is no problem at all. I would have just turned around and said-"nailed it Sambo" and walked away smiling.

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Go Cubs!!!!

Had a guy begging in front of a Dominick's a couple of years ago, the day before Thanksgiving. He was asking for money so he could buy some food.

I declined, and while inside, bought a sandwich for him. When I gave it to him, he said, "What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?"

I politely wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and told him what he could do with it.

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Chas and Steve missed an opportunity.

They should've just responded with "What?"

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That guy

Ive heard the Milwuakeee-lost my wallet line quite a few times.


Oh well, its a dollar.