1. Start off with how you all became friends (unless you're related)

2. Tell a story about something you all did as kids (or young adults) that will make the people laugh.

3. Tell him that he outkicked his coverage (even if he really didn't), and that the woman is beautiful (even if she isn't).

4. Thank him for the honor.

I can honestly say that I have never been the best man at a wedding. I can only offer you smart ass comments, sorry.

Feel free to answer the question too. Keep in mind I'm a man I'm 30

I don't think you'd have to have been a best man to comment here.


Oh, wait...

5. Drop the mic.

If you hate Laurence, then don't listen - don't comment. When he co-hosts the B&B show, take that day off ... listen to an old podcast of a Bernstein solo show and jerk off all day.

I would suggest sticking to the normal format. The few times I've witnessed someone trying to be different or clever, it doesn't turn out so good...

Instead of me being silly like I usually am I was going to be serious. Is that still considered changing the format?

3. Tell him that he outkicked his coverage (even if he really didn't), and that the woman is beautiful (even if she isn't).

Download a Gilbert Gottfried roast routine and change the names to the bride and the groom.

If you hate Laurence, then don't listen - don't comment. When he co-hosts the B&B show, take that day off ... listen to an old podcast of a Bernstein solo show and jerk off all day.

<span>[img]<a%20href="http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o121/izko_90/wrestling%20gifs/RonSimmons-DAMN.gif[/img]" class="smarterwiki-linkify">http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o121/izko_90/wrestling%20gifs/RonSimmons-DAMN.gif[/img]</a></span>

Nice woman but she's in the class picture of the ugliest women he's every dated. I will mention how beautiful she is and pray that no one says anything to make me laugh.

I rarely troll.

Don't risk it. That could blow up.

Pretty woman drive you crazy, whereas moderate to below average chicks drive you less crazy.

If you can't get yourself a "10", the least you can do is fuck five "2s".

"You're a nice person."

"You're a nice person."
"You bring out the best of my friend."
"You can't find anyone better."

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

I rarely troll.

That's code for you're ugly.

If you hate Laurence, then don't listen - don't comment. When he co-hosts the B&B show, take that day off ... listen to an old podcast of a Bernstein solo show and jerk off all day.

http://ygoy.com/2011/04/02/why-handsome-men-marry-ugly-women/

Did you ever wonder why handsome men, convinced of their good looks, prefer to settle down with less good-looking women? More than pondering on the reasons, people discuss about the event. Probably that is why, very little is known even to the experts on this topic – why handsome men marry ugly women.

Interestingly in Astrology, there is a mention of such men. If the moon is well placed in the birth chart and the person has Venus in Capricorn zodiac sign, he can prefer a partner less in charm for monetary and practical gains.
Even the field of Psychology has surprising evidence from some research studies supporting the observation that a couple with differences in age and looks are happier when compared to men and women with less age gap and relatively same beauty quotient.

Why Handsome Men Marry Ugly Women
Men like dominance and security. In the world of women’s liberalization, men are left with a handful of ways to showcase their age-old vices. Out of frustration, are they into discovering new ways to assert their superiority over women? Definitely, the state they are subjected to is quite scary and filled with insecurities.

They might choose a partner with mediocre looks to probably boost their ego. When in public, they can be rest assured that the spot-light is always on them. Sometimes, an element of sympathy can also creep in when these men make public appearances. Ladies mesmerized with the charm of these men may be compassionate towards them. An extra mileage is acquired while trying to come closer to the opposite gender.

Or, is there another facet to it? If balance is the way of life, why can’t it be applied while choosing a life partner? The charm of the man can complement the grace in his lady. At times these men can get completely absorbed in the whirlpool of their own charm and face threats of losing their character. The love of their less good-looking but dignified wives can play the role of sheet anchor and save the very BEING of these men.

Conclusion: As there is a drought of scientific evidence on this topic, it is left to the imagination of the people to find a convincing answer to the query why handsome men marry ugly women. But, it would always be in the better interest of both the genders, if the opinion framed on this topic is mutually acceptable and based on the established philosophies of life.

My best man actually got all creative. He went to ACE Hardware and asked for all of the keys they had messed up on duplicating (which apparently they simply throw away otherwise). Prior to the reception he passed out all of the keys to the non-blood-related female relatives in the hall, being extra certain to include all older women on my wife's side of the family. He also passed one out to a male friend of mine.

During his speech he said that since I was taken now, all of the "apartment keys" I had handed out during my single years needed to be returned. It was quite funny to see all the women in the audience stand up, walk up to my table and dump a couple hundred keys in front of me.

My best man actually got all creative. He went to ACE Hardware and asked for all of the keys they had messed up on duplicating (which apparently they simply throw away otherwise). Prior to the reception he passed out all of the keys to the non-blood-related female relatives in the hall, being extra certain to include all older women on my wife's side of the family. He also passed one out to a male friend of mine.

During his speech he said that since I was taken now, all of the "apartment keys" I had handed out during my single years needed to be returned. It was quite funny to see all the women in the audience stand up, walk up to my table and dump a couple hundred keys in front of me.

by the way, thanks for getting me in on that bachelor party, motherfucker...I have absolutely no need for a scheduled night out of drinking, gambling and seeing strange at an intimate distance. I would have been your wild card white friend that you could have trotted out to show everyone else how open minded you are.

I have to help plan a bachelor party for an Orland Park cop this fall. You are more than welcome to join us if your conscious and record are clean.

by the way, thanks for getting me in on that bachelor party, motherfucker...I have absolutely no need for a scheduled night out of drinking, gambling and seeing strange at an intimate distance. I would have been your wild card white friend that you could have trotted out to show everyone else how open minded you are.