Donnie Veal is in the bullpen. Does Stone jizz his pants every time he sees him warming up?

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Change of plans for Friday.

We're playing Perfect Game. I'll wear a Gabe Kapler jersey and you can juggle my balls in your Dewayne Wise jersey.

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Deal!

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

I have no idea what any of this means, but it is very troubling.

Let us get back to this miserable and pathetic excuse of a "first place" team, that is literally hours from getting swept in this series.

Watch Phil Hughes tonight. He will inevitably groove pitches that will be crushed for home runs. He is a loser jerk. The jerk store called and they are running out of Phil Hughes. At least that pathetic redneck A.J. Burnett had the decency of getting shelled early so that you could go and do other things, like play with your children. Phil Hughes will pitch just well enough early so that you will get your hopes up. Then he will throw a batting practice pitch to a miserable bald headed midget bastard like Dustin Pedroia and you will realize that you have wasted your time. Perhaps future Hall of Famer Dewayne Wise can crush one of Phil Hughes' "pitches" tonight. Then I would chuckle to myself, while I repeatedly bash my head into the nearest wall until I slip into blissful unconsciousness. And then my wife will say that I am crazy, because she is not from the New York metropolitan area AND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL I AM TALKING ABOUT! Thank God that I have an open house tonight at my children's school, so I will miss at least the start of the game, or should I say the start of the carnage.

Believe me, I watch a ton of (this season not glorious) New York Yankees games. In all of my life, I have never been as unhappy and sour as I have been this year. There should be an automatic rule that if a manager blows a ten (10) game lead as of July 18, that his contract is terminated. I may not watch another game this year. I feel like Job, so I will not curse The Lord.

Praise the Risen Christ.

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Will you let us know when the boils all over your body happen?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Boils are the least of my concern. Do you have any idea what it does to your heart to see Ivan Nova grooving a little league pitch to that son of a bitch Kevin Youkilis? While all of you White Sox fans were wildly cheering that home run, the expiration date on my heart literally moved up five (5) years. I hope you are all happy.

I could literally feel the blood vessels in my brain constricting dangerously as I hurled the remote control in disgust. Then, to make matters worse, as I am literally teetering on the edge of a fatal stroke, I get chastised for throwing the remote control. I INTENTIONALLY THREW IT INTO THE COUCH! The couch is soft. If I had thrown it actually into the television, which was my original intention, I could understand the response.

Was the couch damaged? No.
Was the remote control damaged? No.

Let us move on then.

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has your wife told you to curse the yankees and die yet?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Spontaneous Human Combustion.

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He might do so...as the Dodgers' manager. He's in a pennant race of his own.

I loved Don Mattingly as a player. This post, however, has absolutely nothing to do with my angst. It is, therefore, irrelevant to the subject at hand and should be stricken from the record.

SHARK!, do you know a good neurosurgeon? I am seeing spots, and my right arm is completely numb.

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?????

Thank you for this touching response. I am literally dying and I get treated to the question mark game. This probably will not improve my condition.

Am I to assume that you do not know of a good neurosurgeon who makes house calls?

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Stones, I have an answer for your pitching staff. The Brewers just released Randy Wolf, he can come in and help out. May not help your heart or your head though.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

"Wolf was 3-10 with a 5.69 ERA in 24 starts for Milwaukee this season. He has lost his last four decisions."

This sounds like a perfect fit for the wicked and evil Satan Elf. Can the signing of Ron Guidry be far behind? Does Hall of Famer Whitey Ford have a few more innings left in that arm?

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He could sign Ron Santo to be a pinch runner.

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No offense, but nothing says that you are ready for a pennant race like signing pitchers who cannot even stay on the Milwaukee Brewers' roster. Basically, what I am saying, in a nice way, is that the Brewers suck, and Randy Wolf cannot help. Thank you, however, for thinking of my best interests. Do you happen to know of a good trauma ward?


I would rather sign Ron Santo's corpse to a contract than watch one more Ivan Nova start. At least watching Ron Santo's corpse "running" the bases would provide me with some much needed amusement.

I have to actually get some work done here. See you later.

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This thread has been Glorious

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

That makes me (Smile)

I know the Brewers suck

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

The Yankees' lineup is in. Here's how they'll deal with #49 Chris Sale, Fort Myers, FL.

2 Derek Jeter SS (R)
33 Nick Swisher RF (S)
24 Robinson Cano 2B (L)
25 Mark Teixeira 1B (S)
22 Andruw Jones DH (R)
14 Curtis Granderson CF (L)
55 Russell Martin C (R)
45 Casey McGehee 3B (R)
31 Ichiro Suzuki LF (L)
Starting Pitcher: 65 Phil Hughes (RHP, 12-10, 4.23 ERA)

Well, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays won again today. That means that the lead of Bozo Joe's Bizarro Bunch has shrunk to three and one-half (3 1/2) games. You might recall that it was ten (10) games as of the middle of July.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, Bozo Joe, it tolls for thee, beyotch.

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BOZO JOE

I ant this son of a bitch fired - now.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Death Spiral 2012.

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..and just imagine, AJ Burnett is nowhere near the roster...

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There is a silver lining in every cloud!

Bozo Joe and his Bizarro Bunch have now been swept in Oakland and Chicago since the All Star break. I will not watch another game all year.

I do not know if Wizard Bill James' magic computer has a statistic for this, but this team has to be the worst twenty (20) games over .500 team in the history of baseball. They are a fraud, and not worth any more of my valuable time.

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As a Yankee hater, my favorite player ever was Donnie Mattingly. I just loved his batting stance. And I think he has a record for most consecutive games with a Home Run. Or it was a record then I'm not sure. I also agree Joe Girardi is an over rated manager.

Why does Andruw Jones hit ahead of Granderson? I know righty/lefty blah blah blah but Granderson is a run producer. Also,why would they keep Andruw Jones and get rid of Dewayne Wise? There is no comparison. Does anyone know? Its weird but just because you coach the Yankees you are supposedly a good manager.

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How do you feel, Pete Rose?

What does this even mean?

I am presntly at Loyola Medical Center, where my wife is having surgery. Stop by and I will buy you a croissant.

I have enjoyed this thread immensely. I now return to my regularly scheduled posting pattern.

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The Yankees have bigger issues than all the bumps & bruises. Guess who starts the day 3 games behind the Yankees in the AL East? Even though Joe Fan doesn't show up to the games either, it's the Tampa Bay Rays.

Good luck to your wife. I hope everything works out well.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.