Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
Krazy Ivan wrote:
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
Of course it's silly. Sports radio is silly by its very nature.
Not sure everyone feels the same way you do...
You're right. They should probably transcribe each Hochberg commercial- "by crackys" and all- and print it in
U.S. New & World Report.
OPINION: "LOAN RANGER" DOESN'T HAVE IT SO EASY
by David Hochberg
Meet Jim. 31. Prospect Heights. Or maybe Mount Prospect. Maybe Wheeling. I don't know, it's that stretch of Euclid where you can't really tell. Credit score 682. Jim and his wife Audrey were ready to make the move from a condo to a house, but had trouble securing a loan. Audrey came to me. She said she and Jim would really like to get a loan from me, so we made an appointment. But Jim never showed up for his appointment. Know why? Jim the genius, the fuckin' wizard of Wheeling here, decided he'd be Mr. Moneybags and tell his wife that no, he's not going to a loan officer who does most of his advertising on a sports talk show that just makes fun of rape scandals and drunken hockey players. So Jim the asshole decides he'd rather go to
BIG BLUE BANK. Fine, I didn't want his business anyway. But maybe I should've, because as Jim was driving to his meeting with the underqualified, overcredentialed UNDERWEAR SALESMAN dressing up as a loan officer at BIG BLUE BANK, Jim the asshole gets hit by a drunk driver. T-boned. Dead on impact. Never had a chance. That's what you get when you work with the big banks. If they don't kill ya before you even get there, they'll just fuck ya to death once you do. Either way you're dead and fucked.
So Audrey is a mess. No more new house. Even has to sell the condo to cover the funeral costs. So Audrey comes back to me, looking for a new loan. "Oh, David, wah wah wah, my husband's dead, wah wah wah, I need your help." You need my go fuck yourself is what you need. You shirk the Hoch for
BIG BLUE BANK, no sympathy. I told her this. Then I kicked her in the Caller Bob so hard that nine months later, she gave birth to my toenail.
You want to die a gruesome death and leave behind a widow? GO TO BIG BLUE BANK. You want to be treated with tenuous respect that can be taken away from you at any moment? Come to me.
David Hochberg is the president of Townstone Financial and a commentator for U.S. News & World Report. He lives in Chicago with his family. When not managing money or sparring with Charles Krauthammer, David can be heard between White Sox promos and odd Terry Boers noises on Chicago's "670 The SCORE" WSCR-AM. _________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.
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