Jim actually made a very wise decision. I'd rather get hit by a car than live in Wheeling as well.

The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.

You should see him in person. Take the worst know it all that you know and Hochberg is about 10x worse.

Also if you fuck someone like they are a millionaire they might go try to be one.

They've really turned around that stretch of Milwaukee Avenue between Pal-Waukee and Lincolnshire.

I have a better solution:

Beardown Section. No, I'm not joking. Concentrate that stuff in one place so it's easy to avoid.

They've really turned around that stretch of Milwaukee Avenue between Pal-Waukee and Lincolnshire.

There is not a damned thing wrong with people who are bull shitters.

There are some very nice restaurants and the renovated Fresh Farms is great. But, it looks like a mish mash of stuff. No uniformity in architecture, walking paths, variety (all restaurants pretty much). I think they could've better utilized their "downtown" area into creating a Arlington Hts, Deer Park, Lincolnshire type of deal instead of building condos. That type of plan I guess is a bit harder to execute along busy Milwaukee, but, shit, it's why it's their job to figure it out not mine.

OPINION: "LOAN RANGER" DOESN'T HAVE IT SO EASY
by David Hochberg

Meet Jim. 31. Prospect Heights. Or maybe Mount Prospect. Maybe Wheeling. I don't know, it's that stretch of Euclid where you can't really tell. Credit score 682. Jim and his wife Audrey were ready to make the move from a condo to a house, but had trouble securing a loan. Audrey came to me. She said she and Jim would really like to get a loan from me, so we made an appointment. But Jim never showed up for his appointment. Know why? Jim the genius, the fuckin' wizard of Wheeling here, decided he'd be Mr. Moneybags and tell his wife that no, he's not going to a loan officer who does most of his advertising on a sports talk show that just makes fun of rape scandals and drunken hockey players. So Jim the asshole decides he'd rather go to BIG BLUE BANK. Fine, I didn't want his business anyway. But maybe I should've, because as Jim was driving to his meeting with the underqualified, overcredentialed UNDERWEAR SALESMAN dressing up as a loan officer at BIG BLUE BANK, Jim the asshole gets hit by a drunk driver. T-boned. Dead on impact. Never had a chance. That's what you get when you work with the big banks. If they don't kill ya before you even get there, they'll just fuck ya to death once you do. Either way you're dead and fucked.

So Audrey is a mess. No more new house. Even has to sell the condo to cover the funeral costs. So Audrey comes back to me, looking for a new loan. "Oh, David, wah wah wah, my husband's dead, wah wah wah, I need your help." You need my go fuck yourself is what you need. You shirk the Hoch for BIG BLUE BANK, no sympathy. I told her this. Then I kicked her in the Caller Bob so hard that nine months later, she gave birth to my toenail.

You want to die a gruesome death and leave behind a widow? GO TO BIG BLUE BANK. You want to be treated with tenuous respect that can be taken away from you at any moment? Come to me.

David Hochberg is the president of Townstone Financial and a commentator for U.S. News & World Report. He lives in Chicago with his family. When not managing money or sparring with Charles Krauthammer, David can be heard between White Sox promos and odd Terry Boers noises on Chicago's "670 The SCORE" WSCR-AM.

Yeah. There's another one.