rogers park bryan wrote:
spanky wrote:
With that understanding, isn't it obvious that in most cases only being with a child 1/2 the time (due to split arrangement) what GD is saying?
There are situations where its not half the time.
Sometimes a divorce can lead one parent to spend more time with the kid.
Every situation is unique. And even if you do split, that doesnt mean the time you're not there you would be if you were married
Many people schedule it so there free time is with the kid and the time without the kid is when they work (wouldnt be seeing him anyway)
spanky wrote:
I didn't take what GD was saying in anyway being critical of either parent. Just that the lack of direct contact time with the child can be/ is a hindrance in the parenting process (a hurdle which can and is often overcome through cooperation between the parents).
Well, maybe I read him wrong but it seemed to me he was suggesting it cant be overcome.
Like he was saying, you're automatically a worse parent, you just have to do your best with a bad hand.
It takes effort and a lot of times the custodial parent puts up roadblocks.
I have a close friend who thought her Dad didn't care about her because he barely contacted her. Turns out her mother did some evil things in that vein over the years. Thankfully she found out the truth and is close to her Dad who is also a doting grandfather to her kids now.
When I was growing up my Dad had us every other weekend from Friday to Sunday night and we had dinner with him during the other week. We talked on the phone regularly and saw him often at unscheduled times as well. He came to every performance or game or such and he and my Mom got along well that major celebrations were a combined event. He saw all our report cards and went to every parent/teacher conference. Just because he wasn't there on a daily basis doesn't mean he wasn't involved in our lives. He also got along well with my stepfather because he only cared that he was good to my brother and me and I believe cared he was a good man for my Mom. Same with my mom and stepmother.
People still talk about the rehearsal dinner for my brothers wedding when my Dad mentioned my stepdad (who died 3 years earlier) in his toast.