Hell yeah, where are my *real* sports talk radio fans at? We've got a huge show today..... with the Bears on a bye week and resident Cutler-pessimist Mully in the house, you know we're going to get some discussion about body language and flaws, so come one come all to the #1 show for guys who aren't marking out for that fancypants MTV-star-dating douchebag!

- Alshon Jeffery death march.
- RED ALERT at 6:40. Zach will deliver all the up to the second updates he's picked up since talking to SHAKE THAT last night. "Miss a little, miss a lot"
- Brad Biggs calls in at some point to talk about DA BURRS.
- Lots and lots of puns, jokes, schtick, and tried-n-true 3+ hanley-scale jokes.

So who's ready for some REAL sports talk that doesn't bend down to kiss the.....ring of team bernstein and his cronies? Maybe bigfan calls in the 5am hour if Dustin Rhodes respects him in regards to the <5min holdtime? Let's go!!!!!!!

(.....hello lance)

(NO PIXIEDUST.... JUST PIGSKIN!)

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HELL YEAH! at 5:12am the refreshingly race-y and thusly REAL mully gives us some much needed character commentary on the bears offense by reminding us that brandon marshall has had some incidents "at the club."

but hey, #realtalk amongst real people here..... if i'm at the club and some bitch busts my wife across the face with a wine bottle, dude, quote the end of this show "that bitch better bounce out ASAP"

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LOL YEAH! more subtly race-y stuff about HAHAHAHAHAHAH.... failing piss tests.... HAHAHAHAHAHHA

and then what seemed like it would be a promising text (DEVIN HESTER: #1 WIDE RECEIVER sounds like an ABC midseason replacement sitcom) was butchered by hanley as they stuck with the... HAHAHHAHAHAHA hilarious concept of failing piss tests... HAHAHAHHA ARE THEY SCHEDULED?!?!

this show would be cooler in the first hour with some morning zoo sound effects and some 33% self-aware self-depricating humor.... cuz like i get the vibe that they genuinely think think they're pretty funny and good at this stuff, but like, before the callers get on the blower... HAHAHAHHAHAH FAILING PISS TESTS HAHAHAHAHAH SO NOT SCHEDULED... HAHAHAHAHAHHA

ahem. before callers get on the blower and/or guests are able to wake up and call in, seriously, let's nick a little bit of the morning-zoo/stern-show formula and get a veritable fred in there playing drops and stuff. it'd be cool.... namely cuz the half asleep people who wake up and turn it on would think that they're getting on the right side of some slick inside jokes and esoteric humor, which was a lot of the appeal of the early-mid "late night with david letterman" years..... i'm tellin you, if you wanna unseat ESPN's national juggernaught "the golden boy and the golden goy" you've gotta embrace both sides of the force, even the dark side.... just as long as... HAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU SCHEDULE THOSE PISS TESTS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.... and embrace o'reilly and say FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE.

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COMEDY GOLD: i was just thiniking here that like, i'd love to hear rusty scupper do ANOTHER version of the gerry dinardo song.... but this time for JERRY SANDUSKY, which would be a danny mack show -esque way to introduce any segment where they delve into pederast talk.

JERRY SANDUSKY..... ON THE BOERS BERNSTEIN SHOW!
HE'S A SUPER CHILD RAPIST GUY
BERNSTEIN'S GONNA MAKE SURE HE FRIES

OH IT'S JERRY SAN-DEEEE WITH B&B ON SIX SEVENTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[[INSERT RANDOM JOE PATERNO SOUNDBYTES FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW HERE, OR MAKE A CLEVER LITTLE TICKLEMONSTER REFERENCE]]

JERRY SANDUSKY ON B&B IS SPONSORED BY 1-877-KOCK-FOR-KIDS, THAT'S COCK WITH A K, 1-877-KOCK-FOR-KIDS K-O-C-K KOCK FOR KIDS... 1-877-K-O-C-K-FOR-KIDS DONATE YOUR COCK TODAY!!!!!!

see, these are the kind of brilliant thoughts directly inspired by the MULLY AND HANLEY show. kurt vonnegut could be eating a bowl of wheaties and he wouldn't be having the breakfast of champions if he wasn't listening to this show!

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YES! another guest i forgot to get in the OP --- TROY AIKMAN ON AT 5:40AM --- BLUE ALERT!!!

There's nothing like having a national guy like Troy Aikman show up and blab about national stories, if not our Bears, and invariably relate everything to some experience from his playing career. That's how you do a radio show, take notes b&b. instead of bowing down to fluff the testes of matt bowen because he can speak in relatively-complicated football-play-terminology, let's get a guest on who's won a couple'a damn superbowls and would have tried to set some damn passing records if he wasn't so dingy..... hell, you think Troy would be a natural with B&B for the CTE talk.... i could see a weekly CTE/concussion update interview.

also, mully namedropping covering ex-bear/aikman-teammate alonzo spellman in the vet in philly... that's how you build the bridge, gents! no doubt aikman was sold on this weekly gig not by the paycheck, but by the chance to get to work with a professional who speaks the name of the ONLY #90 that REAL BEARS FANS will rank #1 in their heart forever: alonzo spellman.

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You take drugs, Danny?
Every day.
Good. Then what's your problem?
I don't know.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

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M&H are known for their stable of zombie horses. Bringing up Marshall seems very plausible because Mully takes the most recent event and injects the sinister overtones that only a housewife gossiping at a back fence can inject. When Marshall was signed I listened as Mully felt compelled to regularly blunt any euphoria by mentioning that there was an incident in a restaurant/nightclub, in a city bigger than Chicago, and that should be reason to worry constantly that Marshall is going to revert to his indescribably true sinister self. No doubt, five weeks into the season that horse still needs to be beaten because it just might twitch today.