It would be a lot cooler if Papa Shango was in the house.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Chicago Blackhawks Hocley of course. Has everyone signed up for the Fan Salute giveaways? I want the tickets and a ride on the Zamboni.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

30 men enter. One hour and 29 men later, one man leaves, destined for a world championship fight of his choice at WrestleMania.

Welcome to The Royal Rumble.

Tonight, live from Phoenix, Arizona comes the best event of the year to be a WWE (or any kind of wrestling, really) fan, The Royal Rumble is a time that brings adults all over the world back to their childhood roots. There's something special about this old people coming in to clean house, our favorite wrestlers taking other people to task, and the pure excitement and joy of finding out exactly who the seventeenth entry in the Rumble is. Oh, and did I mention that the Rock and CM Punk are wrestling for the WWE Championship? Yeah, this isn't going to need much of a sell. Regardless, let's look at what we have scheduled for tonight's event:



Starting at 7:30 EST, the YouTube preshow contains a match between The Miz, who has no supporters in PSP, and United States Champion Antonio Cesaro, who has everybody as a supporter. Recently these two have been feuding on Main Event, which has lately become Cesaro's Funtime Hour of Great Matches. The Miz repeatedly attempts to attack Cesaro, only to be beaten back and posed over with the American flag because he is a worthless loser. The Miz, in an effort to show that he's not a worthless loser (even though he is), partnered with Ric Flair and was bequeathed the worst looking Figure Four Leglock ever (seriously look at this loving thing). Regardless, Miz also has a vaguely patriotic movie coming out, and what better way to promote that than with wrestling championships? Will he gain the illustrious US Championship for a third time? Or will Cesaro retain the title he so rightfully has made great? (this is the correct answer)



Dan “The Mouth” Lovranski
It sure looks like Miz will go over here after the rub from Flair and his using the figure four now as his finisher and Cesaro telling Flair he was nothing but an old man. But I would rather see it remain on Cesaro since he is so good in the role, and we haven't had nearly enough vignettes with him downplaying America. But it really appears they are getting behind Miz, so I expect him to go over here.

Jason Agnew
Cesaro should first teach Miz how to do a proper Figure 4, then bitch slap him in the face and pin him.

John Pollock
It’s amazing that they are going above and beyond to try and get The Miz over as a babyface and then you stamp the “pre-show” label on him and essentially tell the audience where he is slotted. Both guys will be in the Rumble and I expect Cesaro to be booked for some key spots in the Rumble and get some big eliminations but I don’t see a title change coming on the pre-show nor do I expect Cesaro to win clean so I will say this ends with a DQ of some sort.



WWE, not content with just running things into the ground, has made a fifth title match between current TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS Team Hell No and their challengers, the Rhodes Scholars. It all started when there was a supposed "resurgence" with the tag team division. Believe us, they said! We'll make sure that the tag teams stay revitalized and it'll just be like the days of the Dudleyz, the Hardyz, and the Edge and Christianz, they said! There sure won't be a rehash of the same old plot over and over! Well, bad news. There has been. And thusly we get another rematch where maybe some storyline development will happen. Or maybe it won't.

Dan “The Mouth” Lovranski
I see Team Rhodes Scholars finally getting that big title win here, and then Kane and Bryan eliminating them during the Rumble and the program continuing until they decide to finally break up Kane and Bryan

Jason Agnew
It's time to flip these over to Rhodes Scholars!

John Pollock
Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow have been gaining momentum for some time now and I feel Daniel Bryan and Kane have become a bit redundant in this role, the team doesn’t need the titles and I think the graduation segment was a tease that the title reign is ending and perhaps Kane and Bryan go their separate ways leading into WrestleMania.



After a whirlwind month that included taking one for the good guy (Ricardo Rodriguez), running over Santas, and making amends with everybody on the roster, on a SmackDown taping in January, Alberto Del Rio became the World Heavyweight Champion. This was a title which had eluded him since winning the Royal Rumble two years ago and after endless feuds with Sheamus. With that victory, though, he awoke a sleeping giant. The Big Show, after taking it to Sheamus for three months straight, had lost the championship which had finally validated him as not a 45-second clumsy oaf, a joke of a man. Big Show lashed out the only way he knew how: blaming the goddamned Mexicans and invoking his rematch clause for tonight, in a Last Man Standing match. This promises to be a brutal affair, and the two competitors will undoubtedly throw everything they have at one another.

Dan “The Mouth” Lovranski
I don't know if returning to the exact same stipulation for this rematch is such a good idea since they will have to come up with new ways to make it work. However, I don't see a title change here since I see three others on the show already and Del Rio is getting over as a face, so he will retain here.

Jason Agnew
Alberto keeps the belt... Mexico cheers.

John Pollock
I was very surprised they made the change on television a few weeks ago as I thought Big Show was great during his run as champion and he has been the most underappreciated guy on the roster over the past year in my opinion. Big Show has been all about business this entire run and working his ass off every night getting Del Rio over and taking a ton of punishment in these matches beyond the call of duty. I expect a very physical match and Del Rio retains the title with the always looming Money in the Bank threat, which would be a cool idea if Dolph Ziggler stole the title at the end of this match (and the stipulation lends itself well to a cash in) and then enters the Rumble on his quest to become a double champion at WrestleMania. It sounds interesting on paper but wouldn’t be the way I would go and will say Del Rio simply keeps the title Sunday night.




FINALLY! THE ROCK HAS RETURNED... TO BECOME THE NEWWWWWWW WWE CHAMPION! A feud featuring two of the best people to ever pick up a microphone in company history has delivered just that. The two's interactions on the mic together have been golden, as expected. For 434 days, CM Punk has retained the title by hook or by crook, "unexpectedly" getting help from rogue referee Brad Maddox or The Shield, in order to set up this match, which has been seven months in the making. Because of The Shield's constant interference in Punk's title matches, if The Shield interferes, CM Punk will be stripped of his title. Even though The Rock only comes around now once in a blue moon, and especially when he has five (FIVE) movies this year to promote, this match will certainly be one for the ages. What will happen in the clash of the music genres? Is the Rock just a Minor Threat to CM Punk? Or will The Rock just Rage Against the Machine? Will Punk's historic title reign continue? Are Rock's arms too short to box with God?

LAW predictions:

Dan “The Mouth” Lovranski
This one will be interesting to see how they book it now that they've added the Shield may not interfere stipulation. I could certainly see the Shield costing Punk the match as a way for him to drop the title without actually getting pinned, but I think that would leave the audience really pissed off. They need to give Punk some kind of program for Mania, and the roots of it should be planted, so does that mean we see Taker tonight? Regardless, Rock should go over here.

Jason Agnew
This will be a great match, and ultimate I think Rock will win. However, I hope that instead we have Brad Maddox try to interfere part-way through the match but is immediately taken care of by The Rock, Heyman should also interfere a bit, and then when it looks as though Rock is going to get the victory (perhaps as he does the people's elbow) Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Rock. Punk gets the victory and we set up the following.

Elimination Chamber match would be Brock/Punk vs. Triple H/Rock

Mania would be Brock vs. Rock // Punk vs. Taker

John Pollock
The success of this show will is really on the shoulders of these two with the Rumble a clear #2 attraction this year as opposed to the pattern of the Rumble being the key draw and the ability to put less marquee names challenging for the title(s) such as Hardcore Holly in 2004. I felt their strongest segment was during the first week with both on the microphone and there is a certain draw to this match that is heightened because of the Punk character and being Rock’s equal on the microphone and not stepping down or showing any fear. I believe this is pretty clear cut and The Rock failing makes no sense business wise nor does Punk holding onto the title for an extra month make any sense to me when the destination is The Rock as champion. I expect Rock to win the title clean and coming out of this match Punk’s streak has ended and his revenge will be to end the biggest streak in the WWE.



“Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the Royal Rumble!

Earlier today the 30 participants who entered, drew numbers at random. In just a few moments the individuals who drew number one and number two will be in the Royal Rumble and every two minutes thereafter another individual will enter the ring according to the number he drew. Remember, in the Royal Rumble it is Every Man For Himself. And elimination occurs when a wrestler is thrown out over the top and both feet touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered will be declared the winner of the Royal Rumble and will go on his way to face whoever the champion is at Wrestlemania!”

Dan “The Mouth” Lovranski
It seems blatantly obvious that Cena will win the Rumble and face Rock at Wrestlemania again. But the Rumble is also useful in creating other storylines and moments. A couple of things I see happening is Ziggler going in first or second and lasting most of the match, maybe even breaking Rey's record. I also see something with Kane and Bryan tossing out Team Rhodes Scholars after they win the titles earlier in the night. Maybe we'll even see a tease of a break up from Team Hell No. I'm guessing they'll also keep Ryback very strong in this match too, giving him the most eliminations of the night spot.

Jason Agnew
My prediction here is that John Cena wins the Rumble, however my hope is as such.

Ziggler starts the Rumble and is left in the ring at the very end. All other of the 28 competitors have been eliminated and he is just awaiting the 30th participant to come out, the lights go out, The Undertaker appears in the ring and immediately eliminates Ziggler. Thus setting up streak versus streak, Punk vs. Taker at Wrestlemania.

I also think that Ryback should eliminate all of the members of The Shield along with a notable elimination of Kane, since Kane holds the record for most people ever eliminated in a Rumble.

Oh, and since the Rumble is in Phoenix and that's where The Honky Tonk Man lives, I'd like for HTM to get the comedy spot in the middle of the Rumble with the 3 Man Band, all of 3MB beat down on him until he is rescued by Kane coming out, then after eliminating all of 3MB, HTM tries to get Kane to sing, and Kane once again eliminates HTM just like in 2001.

John Pollock
This is traditionally a very well booked match with a combination of surprises, long term teases and the goal of getting some upper card players into the mix with the ironman entrant and the monster gimmick with a ton of eliminations. Dolph Ziggler seems poised to spend the majority of the match in the Rumble and do the 50-60-minute marathon they have given to the likes of Rick Martel, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit and Rey Mysterio among others in the past. With Ryback doubtful to be winning this match it makes sense that he is booked for the big monster role. It would not surprise me to get a nostalgia name from the past in there that is above your Jim Duggan or Sgt. Slaughter level similar to the Kevin Nash and Booker T appearances in 2011. In terms of the winner I’m sticking with John Cena as I think it a) makes the most sense and b) gets back to the Rumble winner being the legit main event of WrestleMania, which has not been the case for a few years.

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F4Wonline.com reports that Hurricane Helms and Chris Masters have been spotted with Benjamin and Carlito, all hanging out with the WWE crew in Phoenix. No word yet if Helms and Masters will be in the Rumble.

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“Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.” ~ Dr. Suess


Nice Guys Finish Last

Thank you,and have a nice day !

Umm, don't they want one-offs for the Rumble to be able to get some kind of reaction from the crowd?

I want to see Shawn Michaels, Brock Lesnar, Rick Steamboat, Jake The Snake(oh wait, I could of saw him wrestle last night in Joliet...), a Steiner brother, a New Age Outlaw, Chris Jericho.

Not these C-list curtain jerkers.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

The RR is a joke now. There is probably 10 guys at the most that you can make a case for winning it. You know it's bad when you only have 18 of the 30 picked out.

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Fuck Edwards and Zobrist

Yeah, I remember the good ol' days when all thirty guys had a chance of winning.

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Then you should be surprised when you don't know who almost half the contestants are.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

I had money on Bushwaker Luke in '91 and Repo Man in '92.

Those were bad bets on my part.

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I hope you didn't go all-in with Frank Thomas cards.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

Love that Loblaw is back. Makes it feel like a big event. Looking forward to this.

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LOL @ the pre-show fail. I guess they hired the same people in charge of ROH's streams.

Thanks. Always happy to copy and paste from other sites but good to be back



Nothing is worse than ROH streams. Nothing.

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I don't know if that was planned ending since it looked like he hurt his leg, but thank goodness Miz lost. Face Miz might be the most unbearable character in the company, and that's really saying something.

Loved this show. But finishing Punk with the People's Elbow instead of a Rock Bottom was lame.

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Enjoyed it. Really hope this sets up Punk to go after Taker for Mania.

Punk v. Taker
Cena v. Rock
HHH v. Lesnar
Dolph v. Del Rio

That sets up to be a pretty nice Mania IMO

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Where do Ryback and The Shield fit in? The have spent quite a bit of time on them.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Your opinion sucks

Taker/Punk
Rock/Lesnar
Cena/Zigler
Show/Rybeck
Del Rio vs border patrol

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I would be fine with that as well. But I don't see any way in the world that HHH and Lesnar does not happen Mania.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

HHH looks like a homo now. Not sure what they would do (besides maybe a career stipulation) to have be give 2 shits about that match).

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Taker/Punk would sell the show so why would you waste 2 hired guns in Rock and Lesnar against eachother?

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Many thoughts. First, I didn't think Punk losing to Rock, and losing to Taker could work. However, he needs time off. He could lose both matches, take off until SummerFest or later, and it could all make sense.

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Is Y2J back for awhile or was this a one time deal?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I thought I read(maybe from Kujoe who seems to be all sorts of wrong lately) that Jericho is done touring until after WM at least.

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I really enjoy the E leaking fake info to the dirtsheets.

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THIS was AWESOME.

While I would have been more than happy with guys like Carlito, MVP, Shelton, and whomever else showing up, this Rumble was quite a bit more fun than past Rumble's.

Quite a few moments during the event that the 3 of us here popped for. Jericho was unexpected yet perfect at the same time.

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I understand thinking this wasn't the greatest PPV of the modern era, but what could possibly upset you this much? Punk losing?

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You want to get as much attention to the product as possible. Could you give Rock the title at Elimination Chamber, without him being at Royal Rumble? Sure. But fans would bitch he's coming in for an even shorter amount of time. The more I've thought about it, he couldn't lose in his run for the title. He'll be on every mainstream show you can think of now promoting his movies, with the title. Come WM, he drops to Cena. Receipt.

You can disagree with it being Cena, etc. But who would you rather have in that spot? You can say they haven't properly pushed deserving guys, but I don't agree. Austin had to wait a couple years. Hunter had to wait a couple years. Michaels had to wait about five years. Bert Hart even longer.

Do you want Ryback? Ziggler, Cesaro, Sandow, etc. are not even close to ready. Ziggler is close, but you're not doing Ziggler v Rock Once in a Lifetime. Which leads me to the Rumble building a guy. The Rumble catapults a guy if the company wants to get behind him. If Zigger went in first, and won the whole thing, it would have been interesting. But who is really ready to jump? I asked in the chat what the guys bitching about Cena winning thought about Sheamus. He was the guy further made by winning. But Internet people don't like him now.

I thought tonight was a nice little PPV. I enjoyed it, and board members were with me last year when I shat all over the crappy Rumble last year. Keep in mind, we still don't completely know what Mania will be. I'd love to see a Cena (Hogan) v Ryback (Warrior) main event. Mostly because the comedy will last for years. I said good night sir.

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