so what are the spring training stories these hack beat writers have already written and are just waiting for a hung over morning in Arizona before they hit the send button

-There is always a "best shape of his career/lost 20 lbs." story. The most obvious object of the story would be Danks but I think this has to be about a position player.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Id think you could get away with a writing a few articles on Tyler flowers/ Aj being gone

Before March 1 there will be a 'the atmosphere is so much more relaxed without AJ around' story written.

Having nailed the Adam Dunn stories prediction last year, I am already on record looking for the -

Gordon Beckham has changed his workout routine, including a different approach to the mental aspect of the game, and is really lacing the ball in BP over the winter.

- stories. Although, I predicted they would have been written by late January (full disclosure).

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You know me like that.

You predicted Adam Dunn would be one of the premier homerun hitters in the AL last year, or predicted the stories written about him?


I saw one the other day that pointed out how the Sox pitching staff had like a 4.4something ERA with AJ behind the plate, while 4.2 or something like that with Flowers.

Couldn't be because AJ caught 120+ innings every single year.

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Matt Thornton is ready to start 2013 with a clean slate. He has a clear head and the 2012 season is behind him.

The late December 2011/early January 2012 stories about his weight-loss and BP sessions. It's on here somewhere.

I still thought he'd suck, though. But, that wasn't part of the prediction.

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You know me like that.

Quintana looks to prove 2012 season wasn't a flash in the pan.

Sale looks to prove he belongs with upper echelon aces.

They shouldnt count on him for anything.

It will be interesting to see if Rick Hahn implies anything about attendance with relation to making moves during the season.

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Alex Rios, after some deep soul searching, has located the source of his lack of consistency in back to back years and has gone to an all pineapple and wild game diet this offseason.

I'm sure Kenny will still be able to find a microphone when the time comes

And to him I say "Good luck getting Frank to pay for something"

Gordon Beckham has fixed his swing and will have a breakout year at the plate. This story has been written at least the last two years.

I've never seen the media apologize for a bad player quite the way they do Beckham.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

I saw two consecutive days worth of Tyler Flowers stories in the tron. They're using those up pretty early.

I can't wait for the "it's time for Robin Ventura to establish himself as the unquestioned leader of this team" stories.

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"KOnerko is in the best shape of his career and he wants to retire a WHITE SOX"

One story could be about how Tyler Flowers and Adam Dunn both struck out in 41%of their at bats in 2012 and how each will try to make more contact with the Baseball in 2013.

Another could be about how Peavy and Sale both threw over 100 more innings in 2012 than they had in 2011 and how likely it is that each might break down in 2013 and how devastating that might be to the team. Also, about how Sale really struggled in starts down the stretch after he was worn out and how the Sox still continued to trot him out to the bump, rather than shutting down their most valuable asset.

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Go Cubs!!!!

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There will definitely be a story on the steps Chris Sale took in the offseason to get his innings over 200 this year and stay healthy.

You will get a story on how Brent Morel has recovered from the back surgery and how he's preparing for a resurgence

Alexei Ramirez, after much soul searching has decided to just go by Al.

Alex Rios, after much soul searching has decided to just go by Al.

Alejandro De Aza, after much soul searching has decided to just go by Al.

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Adam Dunn, after much soul searching has deided to just go by K

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Good call! We got that story this morning in the Trib, although it's with the caveat that since he's 36 years old he had "the talk" with Bobby Thigpen @ SoxFest (when this story was probably written) about having a healthy diet, which enabled him to show up to camp a SVELT 20lbs lighter than usual.



Oh yeah. I figure since it's the first Friday night of camp and position players haven't reported, short of Thornton losing 20lbs in the 2-3 weeks since SoxFest, Gonzo had this one in the can so he could don his party hairpiece and tear up the legendary Scottsdale club scene, which avid readers of TheDirty.com know is SO worth the drive/hotel/STD. Shomer shabbos!

For those of you Keeping Score at home, the score is KIRKWOOD 1, YOU 0 B1. Kirkwood, WE SPEAK YOUR NAME.

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I was wrong. Beckham did change his workout routine and has added muscle.

But, he's more excited that he's not getting as many flyouts and, instead, is getting more outs on the ground - which is good for him.

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You know me like that.

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Gordon Orie is primed for a break through year!

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Again, I've never seen the media go out of their way to apologize for, or excuse a mediocre player the way they do Beckham.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

a know a certain QB on my favorite team

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Good example with Cutler, but even he gets ripped when he's throwing interceptions all over the place. Beckham just seems to have this "aw golly gee whiz guys, I'm really trying hard" thing going on and the Chicago media eats it up.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Jay Williams got some nice treatment his rookie year.

Maybe expectations were too high but Jamal Crawford was playing just as well as him and the media couldnt wait to tell you Jay was on his way.

I thought they were gonna have a parade when he got that triple double

Huh?

Most of the media rips him for his "Go fuck yourself" face he has on the sidelines, and piles on after a bad game.

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Jay would have made himself a villain eventually. He started bitching about his minutes when Crawford was outplaying him and took his starting job. Another year of pouty Jay Williams and media would've turned on him.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"