So, I was trying to figure out a good restaurant for a Valentine's dinner on Saturday(that's right, humble brag). I went to yelp and I was checking out some options and reviews. There were multiple people who were idiots.

1) Reviewer gives 1 star because no vegetarian option or poor vegetarian options. Screw you. No one cares about vegetarians at a steakhouse. If you are a vegetarian, find a vegetarian restaurant instead of skewing the results because you hate meat.
2) Reviewer talks about how he/she loves the place, the food was awesome, the service was great, and then gives it a 3 or 4 out of 5 stars. Give it a 5 star if everything was great.
3) Reviewer starts of the review complaining about the name of the place.
4) Reviewer complains of small portions of appetizers. Hey idiot, it's an appetizer! Go to Olive Garden and eat 15 breadsticks if you want massive quantities of pre-food.
5) Reviewer complains that it is busy. I'm sorry that the restaurant wasn't empty. I'm even more sorry you had to wait for a table! All restaurants should have unlimited seating.

Thanks for your useless reviews. It was really helpful.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

2 Star Post

The quality was good. Subject was good. Dont care for the avatar/signature synergy though

Agree on all the above. You know what else grinds my gears? People who review necessity type places. Why O'Hare has almost 1200 reviews is beyond me.


Or this stupid human


Ellen S. reviewed Anytime Fitness Yesterday

While the fitness facilities are fine, don't be fooled by their "free trial offer." This offer only applies to full-time Geneva residents.

2 stars


So you are unable to read the details of an offer and punish the reputation of the business. Way to go!

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Team Cutler.

I F'N hate Yelp bunch of ball washing bastards.

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

Dude, if you are just researching restaurants at 3:30 PM on St. Valentine's Day, you are FUCKED!!

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

4:30 by him. That's how he rolls. Restaurants will cancel other reservations to get him in the door.

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Team Cutler.

Ez Boys.... he isn't going tonight..

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

Is Yelp still doing the "If you pay us, we'll put the negative reviews at the bottom" thing?

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This is my signature...

OK, my bad on the day, but I chuckled thinking that after 35 minutes of him arguing with the maitre d, they'll just give in. "OK what table would you like?"

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

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GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's... it's like my heart is getting hard."

I'd give them a good review though.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

plus motherfucking one.

"The pizza was not very good"
Who gives a shit you dumbass. You were there for a 5 year olds Birthday. You expect some gourmet lunch at Chuck E Cheese?

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Yep been calling 3 times a week and I keep saying no then I see a review from oct. 2011 right the fuck on top And all the guy was doing was pimping a restaurant that went out of business.
And alot of the reviews come from competiters or so the jack hole told me on the phone.

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

I work for a restaurant and know first hand of competitors that have done this and that we have done it to competitors. Just make a fake account with multiple pics and be sure to review a few different places so it doesn't get flagged. It's really sick.

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Team Cutler.

I'll do it for a $50 gift card. I'll either pump up your score or destroy someone elses. Pick your target good sir.

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I read one today where the girl was complaining because she was being hit on too much when her date went to the bathroom and she said the waitstaff should have done more to stop people from hitting on her. But the food was good.

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You know me like that.

Thats really messed up...

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This is my signature...

$70.00 is my final offer

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

Didn't they get sued for that?

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So we had one guy: I usally don't complain or review restaurants but..... and goes on to say that just by looking at my menu
he knew that the food was going to be awful because it was so large and then said because we serve a Burrito that
our food can't be good because we have a Irish name. Went on and on that there are no good Irish places, then never said
how his service or meal was and gave us a 2.

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

IDK but he told me that reviews are computer generated but they can futzz the results.

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

They ever call you and ask for you to PAY for ads? and suddenly better reviews show up?

I accused a BarBQ of made up reviews on Yelp, as I thought the place sucked. The owner responded that she didnt make up the reviews?

She of course could not explain how the sentences of the reviewers are almost the exact same, with some different adjectives placed in the same place?

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

I read a review of the Wild Hare where somebody complained the music was too loud, but they still had an awesome time.

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I saw ThatGuy.

I've dispatched the ReVolution to take care of him.

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read

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This is my signature...

Angry angry troubled

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

That's a great Bob Marley tune.

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You know me like that.

Viva La ReVolution

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https://www.backroadspubandgrill.com

I enjoy Yelp because it provides evidence of something I have long assumed: most people are entitled petulant assclowns.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way