On today's show Rosenbloom will be snarky, Grote will do an impression that people laugh before hearing, and some pet caller named Toby will call up and be greeted by a thunderously overproduced intro glorifying him as the show's very own Rusty/Mike-from-Milwaukee.

I've got Walker Bros in Glenview to sponsor this MoVement. Come over to Walker Bros and get some damn good pancakes and marvel in amazement as they literally have a fleet of mexicans whose job is to hawk over your coffee and make sure it never empties. I'm pretty sure there's still a methadone clinic down the street if you suffer from immediate breakfast withdrawal upon leaving.

Take my hand, dear reader, and I will lead you through perdition to the amusement park that is hell. Snark, hockey, and Frank Groteiendo impressions until the cows come home. The MoVement is all about me, because after I do enough of these threads and tweet @ Rosenbloom about them enough, he WILL speak my name. It was foretold in scripture that I'd show up right about now; I am Jesus Christ, you are my disciples. Follow me as I lead you to Sports Talk Radio Glory.

Sincerely,

S. Inicalypse

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20 SECONDS INTO THE SHOW AND WE'VE ALREADY GOT A GROTE IMPRESSION OF LES! I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE LAUGHING! IT'S A SIGN FROM GOD!!!!!!!!!! JOIN THE MoVement WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!

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Man, I could go for some Walker Brothers. I used to go to the ones in Arlington Heights and Wilmette a lot as a kid. Good place.

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You have some damn fine taste in breakfast establishments, CH.

In other news, Rosenbloom is purposely baiting the timeless Hockey (superior) vs Basketball (inferior) debate in order to drum up some interest in the semi-zombified masses listening to the show! HOCKEY RULES BASKETBALL DROOLS; LIGHT 'EM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

If I still smoked weed this would seem very epic to me.

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Do you ever get the big Apple Pancake that they sell in the freezer case in the lobby? I know the Lake Zurich one has them. That thing is a Sunday Breakfast to treasure.

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Nope, I kept it traditional with only fresh pancakes. I'm not a fan of refrigerated/reheated pancakeage, let alone frozen ones. Adding fruit to pancakes, for me, is akin to crossing the streams in Ghostbusters. You don't do it unless you need to show a prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

Also, kudos to the listeners hip for not taking Bloomer's trollbait TWICE and keeping the show largely bereft of calls in the 8am hour. If Dan Bernstein has taught us anything, it's that you gotta commit to the Indian when it comes to baiting your listeners into calling up to tell you to fuck off. When it's your whole schtick, as in the case of Steve "Daddy Pucks" Rose bloom, people aren't gonna step up unless you call the game [n-word]ball or something. Even using the phrase "gangsta sucktitude" isn't enough.

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tl;dr

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Haha, he said "gangsta suckitude"?

The hockey/basketball "rivalry" is the dumbest shit. They're both very enjoyable sports, just in different ways.

As for the apple pancake, it's not so much a pancake as it is a deep-dish, vaguely Germanic baked good. You pop it in the oven for an hour or so and it's good stuff. Look at the website, though!

http://www.walkerbros.net/frozenappleinfo.html


This is mind-blowing conceptual continuity.

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Walker Bros is pretty effing great.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Btw, if you're doing the Glenview thing, a few blocks north of Walker Bros on Waukegan is the newly renovated/reopened Jasper's. That place is knocking it out of the park in terms of their food. For slightly over the price of a full ihop breakfast they'll do the same thing, albeit with giant portions of really good omelettes/pancakes/hash-browns/etc. They're not messing around over there.

When you're looking for a food place, especially of a breakfast/brunch variety, you wanna look for the following groups of people to be patronizing the place: old people, fat people, truckers, and police in that order. If old people and/or fat people comprise most of the diners at a locale, you know it's gonna be good food and good service. Truckers are more a sign of good food with a high bang-for-the-buck ratio and cops are right there with a notch lower VORE (value over replacement eater).

For the record, Jasper's tends to pack in the elderly, and you hit the ideal sweetspot of the borderline-obese 50/60-somethings. Once you see that hybrid old/fat demographic you know you're in good hands, allstate.

MEANWHILE IN RADIO LAND, yes, Rosenbloom went to break before the top of the hour going out of his way to purvey the phrase "gangsta suckitude" to add a little oomph to hook listeners in during the break/update. He's really tossing it out there, but I'm going to guess their call volume is low as their target demographic is probably doing family/breakfast related stuff during day 1 of peasantime(TM). That's why Stevie-boy is spraying to all fields with such transparent vitriol: he has to wake up a dormant retort gene in his hungover/semi-awake audience, as the REAL potheads listening are too busy jamming out to music with a super creamed/sugared coffee right now.

That said, I gotta peep out the HATERS over @ talking baseball. I'd be doing a disservice to the MoVement if I admitted that I like that show quite a bit. Gotta stake out the competition in order to help this MoVement grow.

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OH SNAPS. I turned the dial up to mouseland and I've got Fred Huebner BREAKING. IT. DOWN. AND. TELLING. ME. WHAT'S. UP. re: Derrick Rose. If there's one thing I truly need in this current sports talk landscape, it's more professional radio opinionators telling me exactly what to expect/feel regarding the Derrick Rose situation. Thanks guys; I live under a rock that happens to be comprised of somewhat pure cocaine. You guys are the veritable lighter to my missile, let's ring the liberty bell of groupthink.

Talking Baseball is at the top of the hour, so now it's back to Bloomenstein reading someone else's piece telling me what to think about Michael Jordan relative to his place in history. I wonder which stonecutter comes up with the agenda to turn this #AllStarWeekend into MICHAEL JORDAN REFERENDUM WEEKEND. So aside from everyone telling me what to think/expect regarding Derrick Rose, now I've also got telling people what historical perspective I should have MJ in, as if I didn't live through the 90s.

Phil Jackson was spot on when he said that Sports Talk Radio is "mental masturbation."

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Walker Brothers is the best pancake I have ever had...but they charge an arm, a leg and a left nut for something as humble as a pancake. Still, they are such a far step above anything else that I am willing to pay the price.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.