I had drank a few times before but the first time getting fucked up was Monday March 29th 1999. I was just shy of turning 16. We were down at Ball State at my friends sister's house watching the Duke/UConn nat'l championship game. I was drinking SoCo and Dr Pepper and really pounding them back.

I was chatting up my friends sister's roomate and in my drunken state I believed I had a chance to bang a college Junior. I kept pounding the drinks until a strange thing happened. I began to feel woozy. I decided to shake it off and try to have another drink. It was at this time that I realized I was going to vomit and I realized that there was no way I could make it to a toilet in time. So I did what any redblooded American would do. I tightly clamped down my hand over my mouth to hold in the puke.

Protip: The force of projectile vomit is greater than the strength in which your hand can clamp over your mouth. So instead of just puking on myself or the floor, I turned into a human vomit sprinkler and shot vomit 6 ways from Sunday.

Needless to say I didnt get laid and I slept in the bathtub for the next 8 hours.

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The first time I tried to get fucked up was when I was like 15 or so and me and some friends were trying to get drunk on Margarita mix. Yep the stuff you need to mix with tequila. We were all just standing around being like....this kind of sucks.....I am not feeling anything. Should have read the fine print.

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7th Grade, Drinking quarts of Bud and TJ Swann. Sitting at the park in the playground.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

It's funny that any 1.75L bottle is called a "handle", whether it has a handle or not, as Skyy does not. I am guilty of this, as well.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Yeah I do this too. Nobody has ever corrected me. I would ignore them if they did.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

You're guilty of calling a handleless bottle a handle, or guilty of drinking a bottle of vodka with 8 dudes in a basement?

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Freshman year, 14-15 years old.

In my buddies basement. His parents kept a bunch of booze in the fridge down there so one night we checked it out....Boone's Farm, some beers and Southern Comfort were our weapons of choice. I ended up puking on myself and blacking out.

It was a good night.

My entire freshman year in college.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

I love that most of these stories end with puking and being sick. It shows how much fun alcohol is that we all ignore the fact that we are poisioning ourselves.

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems.

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To be fair, as 14 or 15 year old you probably don't know any better. And even if you've heard, you don't know how much you can handle before you get sick.

Then again, I'm near 30 and still haven't learned

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The handle thing. I have never met Keeping Score.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

That's what I mean. At 15 I didnt know my limit. I just thought you drank until you passed out and everything was cool. I didnt sign up for the vomit and hangover. Now I know my limit pretty well and I almost always exceed it and end up wondering why the hell I drank so much.

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The next day. I could drink 3, 4, 5 days in a row in my early 20s. Sometimes I did depending on what was going on. Now if I'm drunk on Saturday nite I don't feel back to 100% until Tuesday

Except on vacation. I don't know what it is but drank myself stupid last year in Mexico and the only day I was even mildly hungover after some coffee was the day we were leaving.

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To be fair, that's no where near as egregious an error as saying that 174 and 2/3rd is double 88.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

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This is my signature...

Still never been drunk. I did have 3 Monsters in a day once so my heart probably exploded and I didn't know it though.

I highly recommend getting drunk at least once in your life. Give me a ring I'll be glad to assist. Unless it's a religious thing and you arent allowed or something.

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Most of the religious people I know are also the biggest drunks

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THat's right. Wherever there are four Catholics, theres a fifth.

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This is my signature...

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i took two hits of double dipped tim learys when i was 16. i think i smoked weed before that, but really there was no before that anymore.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Not a fan of idioms eh? Also, today I learned why they are called "handles".

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I seriously can't remember.

I specifically remember the night for a couple of reasons. My brother had just moved out here from back east and it was his first birthday since moving back. We were out celebrating at the Grapevine on Route 30(hey! It was a different time in America...) I tried to pull him over to the tv to see the final and end of the game. I was trying to figure out why he wasn't excited about the finish. He had Uconn +9 and had already done about 6-7 victory shots in the last 10 minutes of the game.

Anyways the first time I got really fucked up was sometime during the age of 17. An over 21 friend had an apartment at The Birches on Glenwood and it was a Friday or Saturday night, a non school night. Drank two 40's of the Crooked I in about two hours. Yes, it was that age to figure out how much alcohol fit in my body at one time. I was so fucked up I fell down the three flights of stairs in the apartment hallway. Thankfully said hallway was wide and carpeted or I could have suffered serious injury. Was able to make it outside into the grass before yakking it all back up. The lesson was to drink better beer and at a slower pace, the end.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded