How about the Directv DVR ads where the couple is bitching about "Cable is more 'infuriating' than....." etc. ?

If cable is the worst of your problems, consider yourselves lucky, you fucking Caller Bobs.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

I seriously may have to stop listening to the Score webcast thanks to this commercial. The thing about it, is that the annoying apple-bite comes at the very beginning of the commercial; there's no way to anticipate it and shut the webcast off in time. It's like randomly being slapped in the face several times throughout the day.

Truly, this commercial is just abusive to listeners. I still don't know what the fuck they're even supposed to be advertising.

Oh, and also: when the bitch says "thank you," she says it with a full mouth. Which is also irritating, and it also happens before you're likely able to shut the stream down.

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

So I heard the commercial for Ankylosing Spondylitis this morning and it occurred to me that this ad would be ten times funnier if they gave the voiceover guy ("It could be me - Ankylosing Spondylitis") a Greek accent.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Any chance we can have a follow up to this commercial? I imagine the "thank you" actress choking on the apple and dying a slow death due to asphyxiation, all while the producers sit there and continue recording. This is my dream.

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-- source

The State Farm commercial that panders to Chicagoans by mentioning deep-dish pizza, blues music, cheeseburgers (I didn't realize that was a Chicago thing, unless it's a reference to the Billy Goat Tavern), and street fests is so patronizing and eye roll inducing that I'm surprised they don't have Jim Belushi doing the read.

I heard a part of that this morning and I got immediately irritated. I haven't been that annoyed with a commercial in a good long while.

State Farm had a great thing going in 2011 when they had the "Get to a better state" jingles. Those were catchy and humorous. The radio ads have been pretty bad since then. Oddly enough, the TV ads are still pretty good ("I have blah blah insurance...").

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Not sure if this has been mentioned (because I'm not a fan of the reading), but the AT&T commercials where the kids are sitting around talking to that guy make me want to Kill myself with laughter. They're rather great.

My favorite is the kid showing the guy that he can wiggle his hand and shake his head at the same time...

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This is my signature...

Hold on, I'm watching this.

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-- source

It's still State Farm's motto today, but OKC is right about the radio ads. Those aren't nearly as good as the ones on TV. I can't get enough of the Chris Paul/Cliff Paul TV spot...Separated at birth. I like that one.

Love that line


Its awesome when you make a kid think you're super interested in what they're saying or doing.

Kids are easy Marks

Best commercials on TV

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They probably couldn't say "cheeburger-cheeburgers" without infringing on copyrights. They could, however, infringe on good taste by openly insulting the intelligence of their target market. "Once you win us over, we are loyal!" Though I suppose there aren't many ads that don't suppose their consumers are little more than trained seals. Working in advertising really made me hate advertising.

The best part is how flagrantly it offends Rule #2 of Dan Bernstein's professional life, which is "don't be a meatball about Chicago." What a pity, however, that to call it out for the shit that it is would break Rule #1: don't disrespect an advertiser.

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I could've sworn there's a similar commercial with Chicago references starring the GEICO Gecko...

Allstate has figured out how to properly pander to Chicagoans without insulting the intelligence.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Dennis Haysbert: "Allstate. Chicago's OWN Good Hands. Are you in Good Hands?"

There is. He says "I'm riding the L, and I like DA BEARSE!" or something. It's horribly lazy, and should be worse than the State Farm one, but the fact that State Farm put so much more effort into being patronizing pulls it into first place, such as it is.

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The GEICO Gecko I'm referring in this commercial also talks with an accent...kinda like "Da Super Fans" used to do on "Saturday Night Live" back in the '90s.

Yes. Yes he does.

Also, "refer" needs to be part of the prepositional phrase "refer to" in that usage, as it's not the verb's object itself that you're referring, but I know you don't listen to me, so who cares.

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Well, it's in that same GEICO commercial, along with what looks like Wabash Ave. downtown.

I think that you're much more "with it" than a lot of people give you credit for and you consciously derive joy from getting my goat.

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Just when I didn't think that Rosen fuckhead could be more annoying, he outdoes himself with this latest commercial.

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

Is that the one where he pronounces Hyundai "Hyuuuunndai" or has he always done that and I just never made it that far into the spot?

That's it. I can't take the State Farm ad anymore. "Renner's insurance." A touchstone of Chicago being the consumption of cheeseburgers. The sound of a football game in the background at the end of the spot for no discernible reason. I'm going to strangle an innocent bystander. This is my way of saying goodbye.

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I thought it was a baseball game myself.

Those State Farm commercials with the guy on the phone with someone named Kristin & his mother (!) at 3A & the Jerry Newman ones that I heard last night during Dial Global/NCAA Radio Network Tournament coverage on The SCORE are still the worst.

Fuck the fuck off AMFAM!! If I wanted to have pointless hypothetical talks with a mouthy, little bitch, I would've had a child. Get what fucktards? I didn't. Why the fuck these companies insist that it's cute to have little children babbling in their ads should have a hammer taken to their balls. IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!

Day four of withdrawal is responsible for this rant.

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

Even worse than that were the Luna commercials with the off-kilter warbling of dozens of little kids singing the Luna jingle (we all know what it is, SHARK, so don't post it). Unless they're professionally trained, the sound of children singing is usually pretty awful.

Recently, there's been a bunch of commercials on the score which have all been read by this annoying bitch with a gravely voice and an east coast accent. Positively inundated with them. This bitch must go. Her shit sucks. How the fuck do these people keep getting jobs? If your voice is annoying, you shouldn't do commercial reads for a living. That's pretty basic.

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

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-- source

How can you say you're in love with her?

She give me Snickers Peanut Butter Squared and I eat it.


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! IS THIS GITMO??

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You know me like that.

The only thing more annoying than the 1-800-KARS-4-KIDS commercial is the "rockin'" version of it. Makes me wanna slit my own throat.

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!