Baseball is losing its appeal to younger demographics (i.e. u hardly ever see kids playing baseball at the park anymore (aside from Little League)) who are instead attracted to the more "instant-gratification" sports like basketball and even sports video games. Focus group studies sanctioned by MLB always come back with some form of the following conclusion: "Baseball games are too long and boring."

Now if we examine any given game, the most obvious factor that prolongs everything is the "endless" amounts of foul-tip pitches that a batter can afford to have. Now to all the old-schoolers out there, foul-tipped pitches add to the drama of an at-bat. One of the allures of baseball is the "delayed gratification" one feels after seeing a batter "work the count" and then get a hit. - I get it.

But this is 2013. And to appeal to a younger fanbase (w/ more ADHD traits than previous generations combined) who who will ensure baseball's future, I suggest MLB implement a "5 foul-tipped pitch" rule. Meaning, a batter is automatically "out" after hitting 5 of these kind of pitches.

There are benefits to this:

First, every pitcher in baseball would love this rule and thus the Players Union would be divided over such an issue (making it an easy win for Bud & the owners).
Second, the casual fan (the majority of fans can be considered 'casual,' as opposed to die-hards) would be more inclined to watch a baseball game on tv with all the movement from the "quick" change of batters. And the "instant gratification" that would provide. A batter can either strike-out swinging, flyball it, or foul-out. Either way, something's gonna happen soon w/out having to wait 10 min for a batter to do something.
Third, fans at the stadium would no longer complain about the length of games.
Fourth, pitchers' arms would be saved, making pitch-counts become more irrelevant. Starters would be able to go deeper into games.

I think this is just the kind "out-of-the-box" thinking baseball needs to revitalize itself in the 21st century.
But I know it will never happen.

How about 2 pitches thrown at once? One rightly, one lefty.

Or how about 2 batters at once? One eighty, one lefty.

Game cut in half.

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I would be in favor of improving the game, a clock should be used. Fuck these batters stepping out of the box adjusting their gloves after every pitch. Fuck these fat fucking slobs and their ever changing strike zone. Get a censor on the plate n have a consistent zone for all. Cut 20-30 games off the regular season. Blood test for every player, first. Time cheating is 2 year ban...second time is lifetime ban.

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Can we drug test, and then ban you too?

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Just let it go away. Football season starts soon.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Doubt it would ever happen, but shortening the season would seem like the best bet to "speed things up" in the big picture, while retaining the nature of the game at the same time. The study's findings are right about the need for "instant gratification" in today's world, which probably isn't limited to just kids. If it didn't take an eternity for the contenders and pretenders to crystallize over the course of a season, perhaps the pre-playoffs playoffs race would add more drama to the season at an earlier time.

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Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

In the 70's they had a pitch clock( which I heard some suggest).....after the pitcher got the ball back they had 20 seconds to deliver the pitch. Tommy John said he would throw the ball after 8 seconds...no one could do this today

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

The umpires still maintain the discretion to call a ball after 20 seconds. It's on the books. They just don't.

#unwrittenrules

#humanelement

#trigtroofers

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How do they do that count 1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi?

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

I don't know. Ask Selig; he tries to enforce it at the beginning of a season every now and then, but then the Yankees and Red Sox are like "hahaha fuck no we're going to make every game take five hours and you're gonna like it, bitch" and then nothing ever comes of it.

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