Going after Speeps in his latest mailbag. F the revolution!

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/06/14/ ... ports-fan/

"..But this is the Internet, and people are stupid.."

Boom, roasted.

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Team Cutler.

Ten Foot Turd is a ginger and should be Caller Bob punted back to the pizza delivery shop.

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I saw TP tweet that. Didn't think TFM actually would respond.

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-- source

Shoutout Denied. No one calls Speeps a dumbass but us.

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Exactly. He's a dumbass, but he's our dumbass.

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Congrats Speeps! You got mentioned in a local pseudo-celebrity's lap dog's mailbag!

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I hate it when people use Twitter to get in an argument with a well known and respected person in order to increase their own popularity. Not cool Ten Foot Midget.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Not sure why you're referring to him as a lapdog. His mailbag is purely original material. Nothing in there is beaten over listeners' heads from 1-6 on 670. Nuh-thing.

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-- source

You're right. Praying vs donating, ripping on the "booyahs", and making fun of Penn State supporters are all original thoughts! #TFMB

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Me thinks your sarcasm detector is on the fritz

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Team Cutler.

I think the hashtagged TFMB implies he's on the same page.

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-- source

No, I got it. Your detector is on the fritz

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I was thinking of precisely that.

B&B has turned into "I'll maybe listen just in case they aren't being assholes and just having fun" ... and then it's usually right back to Pandora or masturbation ... depends on if I'm home or at work ... Pandora sounds really good on my home sound system ...

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

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-- source

Setting: Dr. Ken's Summer Kitchen
Time: Early stages of drunkenness


Dr. Ken - Hello children, this is your father again, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

Children - Yes, we are starting to recognize you. Do we have Dan Bernstein to blame for bringing this family together?

Dr. Ken - Yes...I mean no...that's not a nice way to say...

Children - What does he want us to know this time?

Dr. Ken - Actually, I'm here on the completely unrelated direction of Ten Foot Midget.

Children - Who is that?

Dr. Ken - I don't know but he had horrible things to say about Terry's Peeps.

Children - And who is that?

Dr. Ken - I don't know.

Children - So, what are we doing here?

Dr. Ken - I thought you might have read Ten Foot Midget's Mailbag and wanted to see if you were emotionally scarred or....

Children - You thought we read something called "Ten Foot Midget's Mailbag"? Are you drunk?

Dr. Ken - Yes.

Children - It's great isn't it.

Dr. Ken - Yes...HEY...

Children - Oh, right. Anyway, we didn't read it. But our thoughts and prayers go out to anyone that did...

Dr. Ken - I TOLD YOU GUYS TO STOP DOING THAT!

Children - We don't listen to you.

Dr. Ken - OK. I think we're done here.

Children - Good to see you again, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You never fail to not impress us.

Dr. Ken - Thanks....wait...

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You know me like that.

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Another reason it should be called "The Dr. Ken Poster of the Year Award".

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

i got a chuckle out of that. too bad the funny guys here couldn't take the paycut to work in radio.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

With your permission, this could figure quite prominently in my stage adaptation 37 Short Plays about Dan Bernstein by Various Authors (formerly 36 Short Plays about Dan Bernstein by Beardown.)

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

I thought the Girl Chained to Beardown's Furnace might make an appearance. I would certainly need an explanation as to why she's in Dr. Ken's Summer Kitchen.

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I like where your head is at, Drop.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

You fuck with a member of this board, and you should expect the wrath of a thousand fire breathing dragons, all with one purpose: To smoke your ginger, unfunny, B&B taint licking ass!!!!

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

That column is like a Bill Simmons mailbag ghostwritten by Dan Bernstein. Reading it took at least two years off my life.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

And kudos to Dr. Ken. That's fantastic. It's a wonder your kids haven't murdered you in cold blood yet. Wonder what they have planned for Father's Day.

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-- source

I didn't understand that first part about Rose.

Was that supposed to be funny? I'm being serious. If so, it was very timely.

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You know me like that.

I could probably arm you with half a dozen quotes from the bible about public prayer if you would like to refute.

You should ask him if he feels he failed in his communication when by his own admission so many of his readers did not understand the point he was trying to make.

I may open a Twitter account just to fuck with people. I'll call myself not good dolphin or some acceptable monniker

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Just to be clear, doesn't the bible say NOT to pray in public? I'm honestly not sure, that's just how I remember it.

Not in any part of the bible that I have ever read.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

This is what I found on google:


Matthew 6:1-34 ESV

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ...

Matthew 6:6 ESV

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Just don't be a burrito about your faith, essentially .... one isn't better because they publicly decry others they deem themselves above (e.g., at least I'm not chas ..... which really does sound good, but for the most part it's not right to think that way .... even if it's true .... which it's not ..... but it sure does seem like it)

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George