these things are fucking miserable during spring and fall. CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP

i want to place them in heaven as humane as possible, im thinking of a 22 but maybe a pellet gun would be better as i could snipe the bastards over and over. is it legal to hang one alive on a string and hit it as hard as you can with a baseball bat?

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Back in the summer of 2011, I had to kill 18 of them. They would climb my tomato plants, and take a couple bites out of each ripe tomato. I set rat traps, baited with the very tomatoes that they defiled. Fuckin' vermin.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

would it be ok if i waterboarded them?

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Okay, I met this nutjob named Mike through a friend of mine. Mike was a Navy Seal who was trained as a frogman to recover the space capsule from the Apollo missions, although he never actually got to do it. Mike is the kind of lunatic who isn't afraid of anything and he could probably kill a KGB agent with his bare hands or take out an entire brigade of mujahedeen with just a pump-action rifle and a switchblade.

The guy who introduced me to Mike, my friend Keith, told me the following story. They were driving somewhere together in Mike's car and they came upon a dude hitchhiking. Keith said the guy looked as if he had just escaped from an asylum but Mike insisted on giving him a ride. He got in and sat in the backseat behind Keith. They were driving along and the guy started talking about how he had just been released from prison and saying that he was angry with the world and wanted to kill people. Keith was about to shit his pants but Mike was just driving along and nodding. Eventually, the guy tells them he is going to rob them and advised Mike to pull over. So Mike does. Keith is scared out of his fucking mind. The guy tells them to give him all their money, but Mike whips out of the car, quickly opens the back door and drags the guy out of the backseat. He throws him against the car and slaps him across the face. This guy is about twice Mike's size, mind you. Mike starts yelling at him to accept Jesus as his savior and repent for the bad things he has done. All the time Keith is just sitting in the passenger seat watching this shit. Mike is yelling like a preacher and he gets the guy to pray with him. The guy hands Mike a giant knife and a pistol. Mike tells Keith to give him all the money he has and he takes all his own money out and gives it to the guy. Then he tells the guy to get back in the car and he drives him to wherever the guy wanted to go.

Anyway, Mike lived in the rundown house on a huge property in Northern Wisconsin that he inherited from his dad. He spent one winter living in a broken down bus on the property. In the yard of the house there was a pack of dogs that were all inbred and constantly fucked each other to create new ones. Mike would walk right through them and they would bow to him as if he were the alpha. He had one house dog named Betty that none of the outside dogs would mess with. You can imagine what the inside of the house looked like.

So, one day Keith went over there and he saw two chipmunks in an aquarium. He asked Mike what the fuck he was doing with them. Mike said that Betty liked to play with them and chase them around. Keith is shaking his head and looking at the chipmunks. He tells Mike they don't look too good and asks him what's wrong with them. Mike says, "Well, I didn't want them to bite Betty so I took their front teeth out with a pair of pliers."

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I dont have a long story that has no point. Bucket o'death is the way to go. Put sunflowerseeds along an ekevated area leading to a bucket of water. Toss more seeds in the bucket--they float. Take the water bloated carcasses and put the in joe orrs mailbox as payment for having to read that last post.

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You cannot make me care about the WNBA.

We already knew you didn't have shit to say before that last post, but you somehow felt compelled to say it anyway.

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Drowning them is torturing them, IMO. Rat traps usually snap their neck in a second. There were a few times where the chipmunk was struggling after the trap snapped, but I just took a brick, and finished him off.

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

so you guys are saying to trap them in a cage, and slice their little necks and let the blood flow over the ones that are still alive?

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Torturing chipmunks is a new low for the CSFMB. Why don't you sick fucks go back to mocking bernstein's wife?

_________________
Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

My parents got non kill traps and dropped them off in a forest a few miles from their house.

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Its not a pet, its a wild invalid!

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huh, i never thought about ripping their legs off and leaving them for the raykons. but if it gets them to shut up then i suppose i have to do what i have to do... thanks for the suggestions guys youre pretty gruesome but effective.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Now this is very interesting to me, I need to get rid of some of the little bastards myself.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

Fight them with your fists like a man

Once they have tasted a delicious, heirloom tomato, they want more. That shit is like crack to a chipmunk.





Those little pricks would take a few bites out of EVERY ripe tomato. I tried putting a few of the defiled tomatoes on the ground, so they could eat those, but that wasn't good enough for them. So, they met their maker.

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

chipmunks arent cute. theyre horrific. theyre the same as mice except mice are grey. u guys are just racist

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I've never really had a desire to go kill animals, but is there a more wretched-looking varmint than the opossum? I'd drop a brick on one of those.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Yeah but by winter those chirps will turn into "Xmas Dont be Late".

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Agreed 100%

I actually have a beef with squirrels where I live but have no plans to retaliate at this time.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Maybe they are so loud because of the contact high from your window.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

It's disappointing that this critter talk didn't flush Killer V out of the bushes.

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You know me like that.

Might I suggest an walnut wrapped in a tiny newspaper?

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/chipmu ... hat,34172/

jerks.

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full of lies!! the useless bastards around here arent foraging for food, theyre sitting on the steps doing mating calls, and its not time to fuck. theyre chipmunks. theyre fucking stupid. but it wont matter because just a few strong ones make it through the winter by luck and have dozens of babies in the spring. all is good for them. maybe ill just get a pet owl, that would do the trick.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I love the thought of Ike buying the owl to kill the chipmunks but then getting pissed about the owl hooting at night and buying an eagle to hunt the owl and then having to spray DDT to kill the eagle.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins