http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/92046/enter-the-wu-tang-20-years-later-who-ya-got

Because I know Curious Hair has been dying to get Molly Lambert's take on why Ol' Dirty Bastard is essential....

Molly Lambert: Sure, everyone knows how cool and funny and great the Wu-Tang Clan is, but there's one thing about them that gets lost in the shuffle: They were babes. And if you were into grimy hip-hop in the early '90s and also had crushes on boys, there's a pretty good chance you had a crush on the entire Wu-Tang Clan. More like the 36 chambers of my HEART! Now that I've ruined Wu-Tang for everyone by comparing them to a boy band, let's go deeper into that idea. Meth is the obvious heartthrob, Ghostface is the bad boy, RZA is the sensitive one, GZA is the older brother type … are you still reading? Here's where I admit that I had a huge crush on Ol' Dirty Bastard, a.k.a. the crazy one. For the same reason somebody arbitrarily prefers the bassist to the lead singer, O.D.B. was always my favorite member of the Wu-Tang Clan.

I can't really explain it. It doesn't have to make sense. I loved his voice and his singsong delivery, how close it veered to sounding unhinged. He was the group jester, and I am a sucker for class clowns. Wu-Tang was always funny, but O.D.B. was hilarious. My imaginary connection to O.D.B. continued through the "Fantasy" remix and Shawn Colvin stage-storming phases of his career, and I bawled when he passed on too soon. In one of the coolest crews ever, he was both the Keith Richards and the goof.

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If you want to feel suicidal, listen to the Girls in Hoodies podcast.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Pretty sure I would rather moderate a spelling bee between kujoe and chas

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It's nice that Down Goes Brown has shifted away from his column format of glorified lists with obnoxiously large pictures. His comedy bits are great but his columns were bread crumbs for hockey fans while football, basketball and baseball fans were being given good content on a near fucking daily basis. He’s more a comedy writer with a passion for hockey so I don’t blame him. Simmons could easily find a hockey writer that could delve into statistical analysis of hockey or general analysis but let’s just stick with Katie Baker. Yuck.

Also, DGB's recent column brought me to a boiling point with a pet peeve I have with their website. His most recent column had 24 (!) footnotes. What the fuck.

Guys, if there's one thing I've learned from my years of following hockey, it's that the Rangers are an NHL team. On to the mail!

Do you remember that time the Rangers had a goalie whose arm stopped working?

Oh, don't remind me!

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I always thought that the lead hockey writer for a site should moonlight covering the nuptials in the NYT

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Then there was the time Simmons closed a podcast by trying to figure out who the winners and losers of the JFK assassination were

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

I bet he said that when you really think about it, JFK ultimately came out ahead on the whole thing.

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It's sort of like in Karate Kid. JFK was Daniel-san and Lee Harvey Oswald was Johnny Lawerence. You see Johnny wasnt the really bad guy, he was just brainwashed by the Cobra Kai sensei aka the Mafia/CIA conspiracy. Jack Ruby was the crane kick that took out Johnny and Mr Miyagi was LBJ. He really was the winner because his whole reputation sky rocketed after the event. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense!! Make me the 'Czar of convoluted 80s/pop culture analogies that dont really work but you liked the 80s right?!?!? Just fucking go with it and read the footnotes!!!'



But I still read Grantland... what am I doing with my life.

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HEY HEY

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

The sports stuff is pretty good for the most part. If you avoid the pop culture articles you'll enjoy the site much more. I have.

I don't know if enough time has passed for us to start laughing at Paul Walker's legions of douchebro fans, but either way, this is probably the Simmonsiest thing ever written:

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

I enjoy his Monday podcasts with Cousin Sal guessing the upcoming lines. But he spent the first 15 minutes of his podcast Monday mourning Paul Walker with Adam Carolla. Thank goodness podcasts can be fast forwarded.

mmmm...partial credit. not enough boston references.

This site just loves their footnotes.

We're doing something special on the internet. We're using footnotes.

Take that Karl Marx.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/101 ... -simmons-v

NO

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Usually I read these links and try to comment on them, but no, I'm not going to read it.

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+1

I just cannot.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Btw, Señor Hair, you'll enjoy this: so Jezebel did a big story on the rise and fall of the Lisa Frank unicorn empire, and the only thing more Gawker Media-y than Jezebel doing a big story on the rise and fall of the Lisa Frank unicorn empire...



...is Jezebel patting itself on the back for doing an exclusive big story on the Lisa Frank unicorn empire.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Hey, I found that, read that, and sent it to someone right before you posted about it, wow!

We then had a conversation about Jezebel and how they won't defend Miley Cyrus from slut-shaming because they're busy condemning her for cultural appropriation. I asked if white people are then barred from playing jazz or blues, or if there's a statute of limitations on it. "Probably the latter." Jezebel is silly.

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RIP Fuck No Jezebel, which somehow managed to be simultaneously incoherent and one-note, but also did a great job exposing how most of Jezebel's caterwauling serves only to buttress white and middle-class privilege.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Imagine if Joe Rogan, Martellus Bennett, Bernstein, Gladwell, and Simmons all sat down for a conversation. Whose ass do they crawl up first?

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

They go up Joe Rogan's ass armed with knives to ritually disembowel him from within. That meatsack makes Bill Simmons look smart.

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Simmons is close personal friends with Adam Carolla. Let's not act like he's too good for anyone. He'd invite Rogan on the B.S. Report to talk MMA and rank their top 100 Fear Factor episodes.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

And now, here's Our Hero with 5,000 words on how the NFL stopped making sense at the exact same moment that his picks started going into the toilet.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

Also, have you seen that commercial for Lone Survivor where a critic calls it "the best war movie since Saving Private Ryan"? That "critic" is fucking Simmons. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THE SIMMONS MONOCULTURE

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.

The redesign sucks.

I think they deleted the print version button. That button was key since I just wanted to read the words. I didn't need the fucking useless pictures and gifs. Obviously a revenue move since the redesign led to more cluttering with ads.

Agreed. I liked how you could just click on in case you missed to get to articles from earlier in the week. If that button is still there, I cant find it.

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So that Caleb Hannan piece definitely doesn't reflect poorly on him, nor does the decision to publish and celebrate it indicate that Grantland is tone-deaf.

I'm excited for Simmons to shoehorn a half-assed apology into the middle of a 25,000-word piece about how the whole experience enlightened him and how when you think about it, it's a lot like the diner scene from Heat.

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The Bulls haven't done anything wrong, and they're not going to do anything wrong.