Ladies and gentlemen. It's Sunday, and it's time to vote for some douchebags. Not the douchebag, mind you, but a douchebag. A douchebag who was nominated the previous Sunday thru Saturday. A douchebag who had garnered page clicks, responses and interesting conversation. A douchebag that you want to see in the quarterfinals in 3 months. A douchebag that you could vote for in a year as the douchebag of the Year 2014.
So, ladies and gentlemen, after a considerable Mac-Like absence... here are your top Week 1 Nominees! (if you didn't get your nomination included, either it sucked, no one cared, I hate you or there's something wrong with you, so don't bitch!)
family: pittmike has challenges with capitalization and with his wife, who he says treats him like everyone's wife treats them, as an ATM machine and like an unwashed sex toy that has dead batteries, too gross to wash and use and simply easier to replace than repair. He'll get nothing for Christmas, but he won't like it, because she's more worried about herself than him... but there's more. He's got some tail on the side, and it's not Jimmy's Corgi. Is his wife a douchebag for not buying her cheating husband a present? You decide!
Duck Dynasty Controversy: Bigfan makes a rare non-all-capitals-post to complain that the issue of the gay-hating hillybilly has gotten so much attention and the fact that a reality star being real has real consequences. Really. The issue also highlights the complete misunderstanding of the 1st amendment, the gays, the straights, the goddies and the crowd who just loves a good fight. Is it silly that we're so offended that a weirdo hillybilly hates gays? Is the whole situation douchebag worthy? Vote!
"Do you want to sign up for our blah blah blah card today?": Every single fucking time we go to Walgreens or Jewels or to whatever shop they still have in Iowa that has electricity Lipidquadcab is bombarded with demands for store loyalty and he is sick to fuck of it and he's not going to take it anymore until he renews his Microsoft XBOX Live account and then he won't take it again anymore. Why do we have to have a loyalty card when all we want to buy is some lube, toilet paper, AA batteries and some eggnog? Really? Is it becoming crazy that we have to have these things? I mean, Jewel shitcanned the program, to much success, so is it douchebaggy to ask for, demand mmbership and demean people who don't have one? You decide!
"Happy Holidays" emails at work: leashyourkids probably doesn't like you if he works with you so don't email him to brag you're going on vacation and you enjoy working with him (which is probably a lie anyway) and that you hope he has a happy holiday because you irritate him and everyone on your distribution list with your bullshit. If you like the guy so much, drop by his desk and tell him happy holidays. Or say Merry Christmas if you don't mind being assaulted for saying something so un-PC but for gods sake man, don't clog the man's email box, or his man box or any other box. Are people who do this douchebags or is leash maybe a little grinchy?
Ladies and gentlemen, these were your top nominees for this week's Douchebag of the Week (Week 1). Please pick your favorite douchebag. The vote continues until Saturday, and the winner gets entered into the 1st Quarter Semifinals where 3 top picks will be sent to the finals at the end of the year. So... there you go.
And Merry Christmas. I really enjoy working with all of you.
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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