Let us all put our hands together to honor this huge legend, this massive star, this most Glorious and Legendary New York Yankee, as he formally announces his retirement from the beautiful sport of baseball.

Unlike the punk choker Alex Rodriguez, Derek Sanderson Jeter was a superstar when it counted most - the playoffs. Unlike the disgraceful Alex Rodriguez, who trademarked the caught looking strikeout in big playoff games, Derek Sanderson Jeter slugged hit after hit, after hit, after hit, after hit, after hit, after hit, after massive hit in big games.

Take a look at this picture - what do you see? I see Derek Sanderson Jeter and three other great stars, but I do not see the son of a bitch Alex Rodriguez, who should be barred for life from baseball, not because of steroids, but because he is awful!



Take a look at these pictures - these are the great things that happen to you when you put together a Hall of Fame career like Derek Sanderson Jeter. Trust me, those are luxurious ladies, and that cologne smells like victory and the Hall of Fame.




Derek Sanderson Jeter unites all races in his greatness. I judge Derek Sanderson Jeter not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character and massive clutch slugging.



Oh, I have dreaded this day. Let us all soldier on.

The first round in Cooperstown, New York is on me - if you actually go there. This will be in six (6) years with 100% of the vote, BEYOTCHES!

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

100%? So the same guys that voted for his gold gloves will be voting for the HOF.

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Do you think Jeter (and/or Mariano Rivera) will get a monument or a plaque at Yankee Stadium? Before anyone says it's a given that one or both will get a monument, remember that Yogi Berra does not have one, and his accomplishments exceed theirs (not taking anything away from Jeter/Rivera, who were true superstars).

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I would pass your concerns on to Derek Sanderson Jeter, but I am sure he is very busy in his luxurious Tampa mansion with one or several supermodels. Ha ha ha!

Plus, I do not actually know him.

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nobody has ever even suspected jeter of roids, have they? he seems like the cleanest star baseball has ever seen...

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Yogi Berra is still alive. The monuments are all for players (and Miller Huggins) who had already died.

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And hopefully attending all his friends funerals.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Ah, that makes sense. I thought maybe it was because of the 4 games he played for the Mets!

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What do you think stoneroses, A-Rod at shortstop for 2015?

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I'm guessing they'll find a way to give him a GG again, even if he DHs all year.

I have a much better position for that son of a bitch - the bottom of the East River.

Maybe Kramer can come across him while he is doing laps. Ha ha ha!

Those games for the Mets do not exist, never did exist, and never will exist. Wake up man!

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Only way he is going that year is if Paul Konerko invites him to his induction ceremony

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

For my money, Scott Sanderson was the best Sanderson in MLB history.

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You know me like that.

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Forget the World Series titles, the gold gloves and the 3,000 + hits. This was by far his greatest accomplishment.



Although, according to several reports, Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes.
http://jezebel.com/292440/did-derek-jeter-gave-poor-jessica-alba-herpes

Must have been why she dumped him. She's a clean girl. That probably pissed her off something fierce. Made her realize that Jeter will fuck anything. And she ain't "anything".

Hall of Fame post by a Hall of Fame poster about a Hall of Fame player/champion

So, Jeter gave Eminem herpes?

Marky Mark dated Jessica Alba?

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You know me like that.

Timberlake is getting a lot of Jeter's sloppy seconds.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Wait, Jeter's playing another year?

I thought this was because he retired! Christ, now we're going to have to do this all again. Stoneroses is going to run out of parentheses ( () ) this year.

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You know me like that.

This vicious rumormongering has no place in this tribute thread. I am not, however, a baby or in favor of censoring, so I will not ask that the offending posts be removed.

What is Derek Sanderson Jeter supposed to do - run a blood test on each one of the hundreds of starlets and supermodels who have thrown themselves at him because of his great stardom and clutch playoff performances? Trust me, if Jessica Alba is knocking at the door of your luxurious mansion or Manhattan penthouse apartment, you will not be asking her to sign a HIPAA authorization in order to obtain her medical records. You will be immediately proceeding to step 1 - getting down to significant business.

The following posters have made the list:

Beardown
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

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I would think more starlets throw themselves at him because he has a lot money.

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Starlin Castro - Yankee SS in 2015.

Well, that's quite a list I've found myself on.

I need to rethink my life choices.

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You know me like that.

Jeter made sure this was to be his last year, so he doesn't have to ever again see gAyRod.

Hell of a ball player, but not sure about 100% of the vote. If Maddux didn't get it, no one will. That said, definitely first ballot and probably at 95%+ of the vote.

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I read somewhere his last game will be at Fenway

Laugh out Loud!

The Red Sox can't meet the Yankees in the World Series by rule

Someone will probably vote for Starlin Castro instead. & yes, he will be eligible, because after the Cubs release him in October, he'll be forced into retirement.

Jeter has played in more postseason games than the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox combined.

He probably has more postseason AB than all the Cubs & WSox players during his career combined.