So Kane is basically out for the year and Teuvo is here. They look similiar. Maybe we won't notice. Of course, the people in Raleigh are more concerned with March Madness than with hockey. At least this time, it's because March Madness is actually going on.
Fuck the Carolina Hurricanes so much. Bunch of vanilla bums, they have possibly the least intensity of any NHL team. Usually I don't say this, but Shaw and Bollig should rough them up a bit to start. They'll give up right away because getting hurt isn't fun or easy. The Hurricanes feature central-casting Moody Russian Alex Semin, who takes stretches of games off, Canadian Canada-Based Canadian Guy from Canada Eric Staal, who also takes stretches of games off, and Nathan Gerbe, who is a midget. I don't like to use this word unless absolutely necessary, but in this case, it is:
Jeff Skinner is a Caller Bob. Other than that, it's just a bunch of dudes no one gives a shit about with white-guy names, like "Drayson Bowman."
The third, I'm sure. Their defensemen suck balls. Their coach is Kirk Muller, who recently said that he was tired of losing because
losing is for losers. Hard to argue that one.
Jim Rutherford has been their GM since before they moved to Hartford, he keeps building shitty roster after shitty roster, will now miss five straight postseasons and eight out of his last nine, but will never be fired because creepy old Karmanos likes to keep all his hockey people around forever. I mean, Christ, he has Rod Brind'Amour and Glen Wesley just hanging out doin' whatever because they won a Cup there in 2006. He just likes their company, I guess.
Anton Khudobin will probably be in net, and he's been okay, but they're also unflaggingly loyal to Cam Ward, who too won a Cup there in 2006 and has never really been any good. Not sure who's starting yet.
So yeah, the Hurricanes don't run-and-gun it, they don't trap, they don't fight, they don't do anything. They just go through the motions, Eric Staal picks up his customary 75 points doing who-the-fuck-knows-what-but-certainly-not-being-in-above-8th-place, they finish with just enough wins to keep everyone's jobs and draft too low, though it wouldn't matter because they've entrusted all their scouting to like fucking Cory Stillman or something, and then everyone goes out on their boats and has a happy, family-friendly summer, then they do it all again.
We like our people. Raleigh is a great place to raise a family.Canes: 30-30-9 (69), 29-36-4 (62), 60.319 expected
Hawks: 40-15-15 (95), 35-22-13 adjusted (83), 91.293 expected
Canes: 2.478 scored (21st), 2.783 allowed (19th), -0.304 differential (23rd)
Hawks: 3.314 scored (1st), 2.486 allowed (9th), 0.829 differential (3rd)
Canes: 31/244 12.7% on the power play (29th), 173/212 81.6% on the kill (17th)
Hawks: 47/222 21.2% on the power play (3rd), 178/219 81.3% on the kill (19nd)
Hope Morin plays well. Please don't lose to these lameasses.
_________________
Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.
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Love your Carolina Hurricane hate. So Bickell finally plays physical for a couple games instead of like a marshmallow as usual and gets hurt? He needs to be moved this offseason if Bowman can find a taker . He makes Byfuglien look motivated.
