cuz souls of mischief references are SOOOOO 1993.

i know. we're starting to round the final corner to the proverbial "back 9" of the mackeyfish's final few victory laps @ 670 THE SCORE AND 670THESCORE DOT COM!!!! </mitera> however some of us out here have to do the lord's work and listen to WGWG CHICAGO 87.7FM: THE GAME so you don't have to.



so yeah kaperoo (cuz calling any him other than the "kap" colloquial name that is forcefed to us repeatedly = FIGHTING THE SYSTEM) started us off with "so i was watching the game from the 200 level last night..." and yeah, somewhere i know that dan bernstein just smiled when he heard that (cuz you know he's gotta scout the competition to see what shift he's gonna wanna move b&b to when the chief mackhawk comes to afternoon drive and kicks his ass something horrorshow) cuz dan bernstein is not one to let ANYONE, let alone a bitter, yet totally respected as a fellow member of the "in-crowd", rival get away with that fallacy of "i was at the game so because i had a worse view than you had on tv i obviously saw the unequivocal truth of the [game/play/etc]"

so after a lush ~15min gabfest about the hawks triumphant equalizer last night, "kappy" promises us more thorough at-the-game-and-not-up-in-the-300s-with-the-unwashed perspective and "a whole lot more" and then they tease the bears schedule and what do i hear? THE DULCET TONES OF THE MAN RECENTLY FREED FROM RADIO SIBERIA, BEN FINFER, SAYING THAT MARC TRESTMAN IS PLANNING THE PARADE!

wow, "kapistan" just fired some shots saying "didn't fred [mitchell] have [the bears] at 14-2 last year?" and haugh had to put down his rubberized bouncy oatmeal bowl to say EASSSSSYYYYYYYY THERE!!!!!!!! and haugh is doubling down on being mr. "in the wake of the news" by making some news himself (for once) and saying he predicts "a big run" for the bears this year. he's talking about a 10-6/11-5 team cuz "i don't know how you can look at this roster and not see a playoff team"

"kaplanyard" -- always one to "tell it like it is" as his wife will most assuredly reassure you after they both sychronize to tell you "thanks for listening!" -- says that he doesn't see 11 wins on this team. haugh is trying to fight back with logic and reason, but i don't see this ending well for him. "dave" tells it like it *is*, david (it has just occurred to me that this show could be called the "two dave crew") and see what part of TELLING IT LIKE IT *IS* implies that "#FOTY" is doing anything but stating a fact because when he's telling it, it's what it *is*

anyways, designated driver talk on tap and bears schedule breakdowns and THE TALENT IS OUT OF THE CAGE! FREED FROM HIS RADIO SIBERIA GULAG BEN "SEXTUPLET THREAT" FINGER* IS ALLOWED TO TALK BEFORE 11AM NOW! ALL BETS ARE OFF! TUNE IN NOW TO ENJOY THIS LEGENDARY QUARTET (cuz you know they have to have a token update chick on the station to keep a seat warm for harvard grad.... UP HERE GUYS, UP HERE... graduate sarah spain, altho i swear i saw her on ESPN national doing something recently so maybe they're giving her the erin andrews treatment to keep her talent/s in the service of the mouse) --- so what are you waiting for? june? comeon and hear these legendary pairings of showhosting excellence on the game so in the year 2027 when you're at the GOFF AND HOLMES MOST DANGEROUS SHOW IN AMERICA remote's "who needs a bag?" tour sponsored by MARVEL COMICS' THOR: THE NATALIE PORTMAN CONTRACT KILLER (THOR 5) you can be the awesome duderino who can effortlessly answer the questions about the short-lived/interim WGWG/the-game inaugeral daily show lineup.

LIVE FREE OR DIE! YOUR VOTE COUNTS AND YOU VOTE WITH YOUR SOUL.... SO SELL IT TO THE GAME AND KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE OFFICIAL SPORTS TALK SHOW OF THE 200 LEVEL/LUXURY BOXES OF CHICAGOLAND!

* = i initially made a typo of "FINGER" for "FINGER" and found it so lolworthy that i left it there. i didn't notice the HAUCH subject-line-typo until after i posted, but i'm not going to knock the lesser radio david as he goes up against the mightier radio goliath trying to tell it like isn't/won't-ever-be. he does the Lord's work you know!

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BREAKING: The Game's David Haugh reports that it's officially time to "bring Sammy Sosa back" to not celebrate 100 years of Wrigley Field, but to "bring Sammy Sosa back." The Game's David "Kap" Kaplan says "NO.... THIS IS WHAT YOU DO, YOU SAY THE MEDIA CAN TALK TO WHOEVER YOU SPECIFY AND SAMMY IS ONLY BACK TO CELEBRATE 100YRS OF WRIGLEY. WE CAN'T HIDE ALL THE #S THAT WENT ON WITH YOU, SO HERE'S THE DEAL BECAUSE WE DONT WANT A CIRCUS, IF ANYONE ASKS YOU A QUESTION YOU SAY "I'M ONLY HERE TO TALK ABOUT WRIGLEY FIELD AND ANYTHING ELSE IS FOR FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD"

lol.... now haugh seems a bit flustered as Mr. "Tells it like it is" is speaking very authoritatively and downright pedantic as he undoubtedly speaks for Cubs ownership/management/media when he toes the line between indigence and outright rage when he talks about the years of pain and suffering that Sammy "It's Like He Ran Over My Dog" Sosa would bring along in a package with his face. I mean... JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY! ricketts might not have owned the cubs when sammy "quit on the team" in that magical 2004 season, however he was a cubs fan and as "Kappuchino" has repeatedly told us, SAMMY HURT ALL OF US AS CUBS FANS AND HE IS A PARIAH FOR HIS CRIMES UPON CUBDOM. you don't look back and think of all those years where the typical phrase at 5pm on a weekday afternoon was "we lost but sammy hit one" --- oh no, you think about the obvious-roider (who we're all 20/20-hindsight-pissed-off-at now for ruining our lives by.... being the #1 attraction of the cubs franchise in the 90s) and kerry wood grabbing a bat and smashing the boombox and yeah.

KAPPER: "I WAS ONE OF SAMMY'S MOST ARDUOUS CRITICS WHEN HE WAS HERE...."

haugh: "YOU INTERVIEWED HIM LAST FALL (with a subtle inference of "you kissed his ass last year Sir. Mr. Lord Kap Sir")

KAPENDOFANFIELD: "NO NO I INTERVIEWED HIM BUT I WAS FAIR, AND I BELIEVE THAT HE JUICED WHEN HE WAS HERE AND..."

haugh: [veritable b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but MISTER KAPLAN!!!!!"]

and now brooke the update chick is chiming in to basically be "the voice of reason" parroting kaplan's stance saying "THEY JUST WANT TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR COMMUNICATION" and i can only imagine the smug look of satisfaction on the "kapenis" 's fance when the update chick is parroting his view over a now-exasperated david haugh.

KAP[i'm running out of anti-kap-isms] YOU CAN'T DENY WHAT THE MAN DID.... BUT..... WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT AND MORE WHEN WE COME BACK ON THE GAME.

seriously, i'm on the edge of my seat. it's like i'm jim rome and chris everett is coming after me... this is REAL. COMPELLING. RADIO. and i'm going to have to tune into der schnorr (cuz they dont go to breaks 12mins after the top of the hour) and see what they're trying to use to compete with this magnanimous radio brilliance, aka david versus david-goliath.

wow, and as i edited this post b4 i could flip over tunein to the score THE GAME is back from commercial. so clearly their other strategy to fight the established networks is to have a few more breaks in total volume/#-of, however they're shorter 1-2min commercial breaks so if you're lazy in PTFBing, welp, THE GAME will be back before you can sneeze out "KAPLAN'S AN ASSHOLE BUT HIS WIFE LIKES IT AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING". slick move, WGWG.... your move, WSCR/ESPN1000...

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OH MY GOD!!!! SHOTS FIRED!!!!!

yes, that's right.... i just heard a david spada legal serivices pseudo-live-read ad.... i have no idea who was reading it (cuz it certainly wasn't kapman/haugh. maybe it's a producer cuz it prolly costs X amount $$$MORE$$$ to have a "premium on-air talent" like either of the two dave crew to read the ad?

i'm not trying to knock spada as cheap, or knock spada at all.... it's just that a longtime "score guy" has now taken his ball and gone to his new home: WGWG (wild girls with god) --- and that's SHOTS FIRED! territory when it comes from a longtime and dare-I-say-OG schnorr-guy!

also, man, david, why didn't you get a plug for bearly legal in there? or is it one of those things you'd have to pay even more $$$ for (as opposed to the modest upcharge for having "premium on air talent" read your ad as opposed to anonymous boardop/producer/intern/contest-winner X) ??? i guess your podcast technically competes with them for our (sports) heart minds and souls.... but comeon WGWG (WON'T GAMBLE WHAT GAME??) get with the program.

also the update chick "brook" whatever just called the wizards an upstart. aren't the bulls an upstart?

my chariot awaits. vaya con dios my brothers in sports arms!

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Cornell, actually: http://www.ivyleaguesports.com/history/ ... arah_Spain

Anywho, this is important work you're doing, I genuinely appreciate it. I don't think I could ever listen to a Kaplan-led show, but TheGame is nearly already at a level of WSCR for me: most of the shows are unlistenable, but if they have a good guest I'll podcast it. And yup BigFan, that includes KC Johnson.

this thread needs an executive summary

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

you are why TL:DR was created, wow!

well uh, thanks for the kind/ish words guys! i might not be jesus but this is definitely my cross to bear.

[self indulgent pap redacted. this thread shall forever remain strictly business]

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Everyone knew what Sammie and McGuire were doing, while they were doing it. It seemed the thing to do, to bring baseball back from the strike.

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Middle Aged Crazy, like Uncle Terry

Fergie Jenkins did the read for my commercial.

artist: my life with the thrill kill kult
song: sex on wheelz

I'll turn you on like a tiger, baby
Hard body, motor city, love life
I'll take you for a ride down the mind way, baby
Be my little human sacrifice

Do my kisses burn?
Do they take your breath?
You've got a lesson to learn, now
I'm the kiss of death

History is written by winners, baby
So let's make a little of our own tonight
If you're thinkin' my idea of fun is a drag
Then you've never been to paradise

Do my kisses burn?
Do they take your breath?
You've got a lesson to learn, now
I'm the kiss of death

----

that's right kids.... i'm "all in" for KAP AND HAUGH this morning because i refuse to primarily listen to the "two matt krew." remember when THE GAME used to be a "breath of fresh air" that was gonna "shake up the chicago sports radio picture?"

well they've shaken the picture and no long-hidden treasure map fell out of the frame. i guess they're waiting til they can get a proper flagship talent over there who can lead a revolution from his drive-time throne that effectively puts WTFWG or whatever its callsign is to the glory that it deserves as chicago sports radio's brash upstart, which is a touch ironic given the pre-corporate history of the score and all that.

anyways i'm not wearing socks in anticipation of said socks being knocked off by the powers of KAP AND HAUGH so are any of you true believers with me? give the guys a call at 312-325-2525 or whatever it is.... post in the tread! It's the ReReVolution..... even tho it's jordan birkfield in for the kap-man today and david haugh and the rest of the gang are here. fuck.

lead story: SAMARDZIJA PITCHED LAST NIGHT. let's get on it boys. jordan: "do you think he's making trade proposals to theo and jed right now?"

and of course HAUGH had to quickly point out that "KAP WILL BE BACK TOMORROW" because you know there's no less than 1.2mil hardcore "kap guys" who are seriously throwing coffee mugs/thermoses across the office/car/metra right now because a day without haugh is like a day without heroin, just minus the whole pure chemical/hormonal pleasure part that comes with the heroin.

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Was this a favor for getting him out of a driving while high violation?

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jordan birkfield: "is jeff samardzija a cub right now? yes. do i think that jeff samardzija will be wearing a cubs jersey when he pitches after july 31st? no."

i love the device of asking yourself long drawn out rhetorical questions that take a whole bunch of extra unnecessary words to basically say "i still think the cubs will trade samardzija before the deadline" --- but then again i'm sinicalypse and i babble so i'm always looking for ways to add a lil extenZe to my posts.

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