awww damn ARM got him? oh shit that's a good one.... but hey since someone called for me and/or 1500 words on zoo za zoo, i'm here to help!
first off, ARM is a poster from dawgshed.com (nee dawgsaloon.com) which started off as an alternative to stern fan network which was (and MAYBE still technically is?) the #1 howard stern messageboard on the net. you see, when howard got on sirius in 2006 he enacted a brilliant plan to try and control the main hub of fan discussion about him by inviting mutt (owner of SFN) to have a show on howard 101 called "superfan roundtable" which mutt hosted/moderated and it was just some sort of a circlejerk where stern "superfans" would get together and talk about the show. the main reason howard did this was that he wanted to get mutt under his wing and under his control, so this way he had some sway over mutt (who would grow to love his pseudo-celebrity to the point of taking orders from howard) much like howard had TRIED to do with marksfriggin.com (since you demanded ~1500/+ words, basically marksfriggin.com has compiled the daily rundown of the stern show for a long-ass time, i mean way back into the 90s/web1.0 era-of-the-internet since i'm pretty sure mark's site is still very web1.0). howard hired mark to write the official rundowns for howardstern.com which he did, but then as time went on howard wanted mark to change some of the things he was jotting down to whatever howard said they were ,and then from there i think he wanted to have mark go back and change stuff in the archive (since many people use marksfriggin.com as a reference to find out what went down on the stern show on what day and whatnot, when newschool/PC howard wants to pretend he never used the n-word or joked about gays or something (but hey since he's gay he can do it. OUT OF THE CLOSET STERN!!!!! =) he could scrub it.
i mean, howard has long been known to have "the tapes team" scrub his old shows for anything questionable, i mean i think one of his divorce settlements was that he couldn't mention alison on the air or something so whenever you hear any old stern tapes on sirius you don't hear a damn thing about alison. and then sometimes colorful words/phrases are scrubbed out... idk you can prolly do google searches on "howard stern tapes censorship" or something and find people who have uploaded youtube videos with examples of the original audio and the new sanitized audio being played on howard 100/101, so there you have it. he wanted to do the same thing with the marksfriggin.com rundown but mark kindly told him to go fuck himself, left the position as official show-runner-downer for howardstern.com and returned to his post at marksfriggin.com, where he still to this day does rundowns of the show even tho the segment summaries are inadvertantly suitably hilarious as you see just what kind of a soulless vanity show suckfest the stern show has become.
anyways, things worked out better with mutt. basically once mutt was invited into the HS family he was definitely prone to enacting howard's every wish/demand/etc.... so as the sirius years rolled on if you posted anything negative about beth you'd get banned. if you ragged on the show enough you got banned. if howard perused SFN and saw something he didn't like it disappeared. the biggest example of howard's power over SFN came when he first announced that he was going to join america's got talent. by that time (2010-11 or whatever?) the show had long been in decline (since basically once he reached all of his contractual performance incentives and helped the merger go through, welp, since there was no more $$$ to be made by putting on the best show possible the lack of effort really began to show) and what was a really good initial run of satellite radio from, say, 06-08 started to fall apart in 2009 because the last year or two of artie was kinda meh, especially compared to the first year or two of sirius.... you can basically say that when it became SXM it was all downhill (i mean, howard Himsef sued sirius XM for more $$$.... so when you think your company shafted you out of tens of millions of dollars and you're suing them for 50-100mil or whatever, welp, are YOU gonna go out and put out the best show possible with max-effort while you're actively pursuing litigation against them?) and then artie had spiraled out of control and ended up stabbing himself in the stomach or whatever and they let him go, so once the show got rid of artie (the last ensouled human being there.... or well idk about fred i think he very well might have his soul, that's why he hardly ever talks. but even on his end the audio drops and sound effects aren't nearly as on point as they used to be. he's sleepwalking through the shifts like everyone else) yeah beginning in 2010 the show experienced a sharp decline in quality, lots of longtime/oldschool fans began evolving into hate-listeners (just like the b&b threads here) and by the time howard was ready to join AGT there was a giant mass of disgruntled old fans who were getting increasingly sick of his bullshit (which is ironic given his early-sirius slogan of NO MORE BULLSHIT! tho in fairness we dont know if there was an exclamation point or something and it was really NO! MORE BULLSHIT! all along) and yeah.... the situation was ripe for potential disaster.
howard feared that when he announced AGT and it made national waves people would go "oh howard stern! i remember him.... he used to be really good at radio in the 90s! what's he up to now?" and they'd go to google him and they'd end up at stern fan network where there's a bunch of people ragging on him and razzing him, or even worse: telling the truth about the sad state of affairs over at his radio program (especially compared to his glory days, of course) so howard didn't want all the people who decided to look him up right after the AGT announcement to end up stumbling across SFN and seeing all of the old fans who were sick of his bullshit radio program, so he very likely ordered mutt to SHUT IT DOWN!!!! so basically right when that AGT announcement dropped SFN had JUST started a forum-software upgrade that took down SFN and all of its archives for ~3/+ weeks. BOOM. the AGT announcement came and went and there was no SFN chock full of increasingly-disgruntled old fans bitching about how shitty howard and the show had become, so hey mission accomplished, right?
dawgsaloon.com, as far as i know, started as a spinoff board by some of the OG SFNers who were getting sick of the bullshit, and then as time went on it kept picking up steam. when SFN went down for 3 weeks out of the blue a lot of people who were used to going to SFN to post about howard with the howard stern fan community over the years started going to dawg's if they didnt go already, and that 3 week thing really sent dawg's off and running. dawg's now has the oldschool vibe/mentality of SFN where people are allowed to think things other than happy thoughts about howard, beth, blobbin, and the whole gang. i dont really know much about SFN but it's pretty much a shell of what it was once, if not a veritable walking corpse. it's WAY slower than it used to be because i think most of the people who used to post there either 1) went to dawg's to get their fix with or without bannings or 2) simply stopped giving a shit about howard that much and moved on elsewhere.
so yeah, now that i've explained all of that for no reason at all (other than the 1500 words request) i've set the scene to say that ARM is a beloved poster/hero at dawg's.... his thing is media fuckery by calling up shows (most notably mike francesa's show, where he called up as Wigward from Southampton) and dropping "ZOO ZA ZOO!!!!!" somewhere in the call, a phrase which references howard's oldest daughter emily stern and a song she wrote (presumably about him). howard's kids are basically weird lil trust fund kiddies who run around the world being lesbians, prolly doing a bunch of drugs, making increasingly self-indulgent poetry (and this is coming from me) and uhhhhh yeah i think his youngest daughter is straight but seems to dig minorities and stuff and getting wasted and instagramming a bunch of pictures and you know the whole 9 yards.
but emily, you know the one who was cone-bra'd/t0pless in that NYC play where she was on stage screaming MY VAGINA!!!!! MY VAGINAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! is the one who most likely used daddy's $$ to record a music album full of goofy self-indulgent songs... and the one everyone suspects is about howard is called ZOO ZA ZOO. here's the lyrics:
Zoo Za Zoo
The mountain is high but it appears larger
not wanting to go backwards I break from my past.
You have caught me spiraling downwards
I feel like I made it inside at last.
The branches are deeper, much fuller, much richer,
My legs are resting like two grains of sand.
With beauty abundant, my thoughts are a picture
of this parcel of moistened, well grounded land.
Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo
I love you.
You always said you knew I was gifted
but you never could figure out just how much
my body is baffled and my spirit is lifted
each time I surrender to your elegant touch.
Tonight’s the recital for these old, creepy oak trees
They’re flouncing and flampant
in their constant rebuttal.
The squirrel who listens while waiting on bent knees
inspires the leaves to fall towards a puddle.
We’ve evolved the wrong way. how can I go backwards?
How can I take credit for things I’ve not named,
where needing another has come to be misused
and added to this premise that I only can blame?
Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo
I love you.
The pulsing ground welcomes this beautiful dream catcher
the songbirds that sit at the base of my spine
are telling my heart that I need not go faster
that God’s making room for Her precious friend, time.
For winters have come, but winters don’t stay.
They’re just making sure they still have their say
So, lets close our eyes while night seeks the day
and slumber seduces these games that we play.
Zoo Za Zo Za Zoo Za Zo
I love you.
---
so yeah, of course once howard's old fans discovered ZOO ZA ZOO!!!!!, you know, people who still to this day get airtime on howard's show when they can get on/in-the-background of ANY sort of massmedia and yell out BABABOOEY!!!! BABABOOEY!!!!!! (you know, when there's a golf broadcast and as the ball is hit and people applaud and cheer someone yells out BABABOOEY!!! BABABOOEY!!! really loudly to get picked up by the network's mics, howard will likely play it --- well those people wanted to get on howard's airwaves and yell out ZOO ZA ZOO!!!!! ZOO ZA ZOO!!!!! this, of course, was met with a total blackout. drop a zoo za zoo and you'll get immediately dumped (using the delay to black out the ZOO ZA ZOO!!! ofc, tho i think there's been like 1-2 slippages of it where even with the delay on a D-grade howard 101 program someone gets it in... and it was prolly ARM that did it) so this caused the newschool-bababooey-shouters to take their game elsewhere, to the world of media outside of siriusXM where you will never ever EVER hear the words ZOO ZA ZOO if everyone is doing their job properly (and if they aren't we all figure they lose it REALLY QUICK)
so yeah ARM goes all over the place, most notably francesa (who seems to like him because he's a really good caller outside of the drops... he knows how to make a good quality call that everyone likes and then he's able to slip in the ZOO ZA ZOO!!!1) and he's a man on a mission to get the word about ZOO ZA ZOO out there in the post-BABABOOEY!!!! sense. he's essentially using howard's old schtick against him, and it's kind of bloody brilliant. i mean you get images like this out of it:
many wonder if francesa picked up on the fact that Wigward in Southampton is making fun of howard stern (or at least if after the first or second call a producer told him and he chortled and they all allowed it to go on cuz he's been on francesa at least 3 times i think, maybe more cuz i dont keep up with the shed as much as i used to hence my not knowing about this and posting it myself) so yeah that's pretty much what's going on here.... it's basically a BABABOOEY!!!!! type shot at howard stern referencing his goofy-ass-daughter writing some song presumably about him and his distance from his kids (and remember, howard made a fucking career cutting on the gifford kids in the 90s and whatnot, but of course one of countless hypocrises that's been exposed about the guy is that his kids are 50000000% off limits and rah rah rah blah blah blah) so yeah, in the name of speaking the truth about howard stern and having SOME kind of fun with the newschool stern show (cuz lord knows it doesn't come from teh show itself) WE'VE GOT ZOO ZA ZOO,
which has inspired some transcendental greatness like this video here (click here if you wanna hear emily singing some of zoo za zoo, albeit in an edited sense. the actual song itself is just some acoustic/vocal-solo stuff anyways so it's eminently exploitable to be synced up with stuff like thisForrest Gump wrote:
...and that's all i've got to say about that
OH YEAH AND HOLY MOTHER OF LOL GOFF'S SHOW IS CALLED OFF THE DRIBBLE?!?!?!!? gee i wonder if goff's ever been off of a dribble or two in his lifetime, eh? HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 =D
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
