I believe the saying is "FUCK THIS GAY EARTH" but being that this is 2014 you have to disclaim like "yeah I have nothing against gay people in fact my own boyfriend is gay and he's awesome yeah.

Disclaimers aside: FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!!!

[this had to be.....uhhh.... stoke? southampton? oh no it was that manutd game.... well hey at least the gay earth got laid]

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Crystal Palace's Neil Warnock is the winner of the First EPL Manager to get the sack award. Warnock was given the boot after Palace's 3-1 loss to Southampton.

Sorry KD.

Daily Mirror reporting that Newcastle's Alan Pardew will be the next manager at Crystal Palace. Newcastle and Crystal Palace have agreed compensation.

And NUFC wants de Boers to replace Pardew, but he will not leave Ajax midseason.

'm not a fan of letting Pardew go.

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Palace has caught fire the last few times they canned the manager. Not like they have much talent anyway.

Palace sacked a guy like the day before the season even kicked off.

I've been using Crystal Palace as my team in Pro Evolution Soccer's Master league. Of course, first thing I did was systematically sell off 95% of the players, but the kits are still the same. Got them up to 7th place in the BPL as of now with lots of time to go.

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Shakes - Have you ever tried the Football Manager series from Sports Interactive. You cabs manage one club for 30 years. It's pretty cool and very addicting.

goddamn that arsenal loss @ southampton was just fucking awful. i mean i'm with this anon on 4chan who proclaimed this at 8:06am on thursday, aka mere minutes after the arsenal starting XI was announced...



[oh yeah this was the szcesny southampton game. i'll smoke to that. the gay earth was actually scared straight by this one, and games like this = why chelsea's walking to the prem...]

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30 years? You can manage them for 300.

As someone who is Pro-Alan Pardew, I'm now joining my kids on the Crystal Palace bandwagon, as long as KD approves .

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cristiano ronaldo won the balloon door! i'll give him a shoutout thread for that.

[but what's better than CR7 mugging with the balloon door? try my desktop background for roughly the last 1.5 years...]



since this post here plz note some scottish dude went and bought an acre of land of some historic property and gave it to bendtner so he is now officially LORD BENDTNER. see? the world can be a good place... long live TGSTEL (the greatest striker that ever lived. you americans know this well! =)

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Have fun until they can him before Xmas next year!

One of America's biggest frauds returns to...well I guess it's Canada so that doesn't make sense...anyway Jozy to Toronto FC.

Well, NFL and college are over so I'm turning my attention back to soccer. One helluva FA Cup weekend a few weeks ago. What a hype train that was this weekend on NBC for Chelsea-City. Match didn't really live up to it. Guess it's Chelsea's to lose barring a Liverpool-like collapse.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Was hoping Cambridge United would crash ManYoo out of the FA Cup but no such luck. My wife and I have friends that live in Linton in England, about 25 minutes from Cambridge.

Looks like Chelsea did a bit of business during the final days of the January transfer window as they sent Andre Schurrle to Wolfsburg for £24m and sent Mohammad Saleah to Fiorentina on loan while buying Juan Cuadrado from Fiorentina for £27m

I will be curious to see how Mourinho is able to integrate Cudrado into the Blues starting XI.

BTW, Forgot to mention that Hary Redknapp resigned from QPR with immediate effect. Uncle 'Arry needs knee replacement surgery.

Looks like former Spurs boss Tim Sherwood is the leading canadite to take the QPR hot seat.

I'm all for the glorious return of "tactics Tim" Sherwood to return to the prem. If that fitbathatba rap about AvB from his Chelsea days wasn't enough, welp suffice to say there's room to innovate in the field of excellence of you can do a Tactics Tim rap.

Btw ARRY redknapp looks like droopy dog. It's fucking uncanny. Speaking of uncanny govfifure if his side started off as well as Danny Dyer's wet spammers our guy ARRY would probably be sticking around... But hey now that they're locked into a relegation battle and charlie Austin is gone and a half if his !!! is anything beyond a purple patch (and vem if it is he's now PL PROVEN) yeah why bother sticking around? He can fix his knee, walk into an easy punditry gig, then AIT for the next nouveau-riche mid-to-lower-table team who wants to buy a statement in the PL to remember that he got the hoptspuds into the CL once so hey if you're willing to buy a shot @ the glory rest assured ARRY is out there to waste your $$$ and make you favorites for next year's championship =]

I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with the rumors of, say, QPR wanting adebator on deadline day and ultimately getting nothing that ARRY stepped away. That's crazy talk cuz the man is PL PROVEN like charlie Austin, Carlton Cole, Jermain defoe, and now Future Hero of Queen and Country Harry Kane™®©. England will be unstoppable in the 2016 euros so maybe ARRY got out now so he can campaign for Woy's job heading up the three lions.

Let's be real: that's where he really wants to go so let's see how committed england is to Woy cuz if they're not they can upgrade to ARRY and shock the world in 2016.

Anyways its time for me to go and find the articles about how Arsene Wenger was aware of Harry Kane when he was merely a sperm floating around his dad's nutsack and they almost signed him when he as 4 if not for work permit issues.C'est la vie, no?

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Speaking of Wenger being prescient, I swear about a week ago I saw an article that showed a Wenger starting XI of potential stars he "almost" signed if not for whatever cosmic interference occurred. Might have been The Guardian but I can't find it now. Not sure what the intention was (mocking or serious) but I found it funny knowing ole Arsene like I do.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

yeah ziz, even tho i'm like ~2.5 seasons into proper euro-football-fandom, i can tell you that those articles about wenger ALMOST signing [super/star player] back before he was picked up by the team he blew up to startom with/at show up at least once per season.

and the fucked up part is that the list keeps getting longer and longer. when i first started very occasionally browsing UK football rags in late 2012 / early 2013 you just saw that timeless picture of zlatan in the arsenal kit...



[you know, if i link that zinedine zidane song 3 more times i get a free link to the zidezine zidane song!]

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

FUCK ME MAN.

[indeed, my contributions to this thread have indeed made a lot of people say "FUCK YOU"]

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I know he just bagged another against Liverpool the other day but I'm not 100% sold on Harry Kane. English press have already gone full retard over this kid. Plus, the most equitable arbiter of all, FIFA 15, has only rated him a 68!

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

HOLY SHIT that arsenal win was awesome today. that first goal got me airborne with a fistpump going FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!! lofting down the street, which is when i found out that one dude working on that one house was also an arsenal fan. who knew?

of course, in true arsenal style they gave it right back real quick because if it's not "ready to shit yourself and take an abusive overload of intoxicants" territory then it's not arsenal territory, so we had that back in full effect because there was no way in hell they were going up 3-1. just no possible way.... 10 men? oh comeon we've only seen giggs' goal from 99 how many times in the buildup to this match..... and how many men did manutd have on the field at the time of giggs' goal? exactly: 10.

so yeah today's genuinely-unexpected victory was "like a shot of speedway methadream coming on like a hothead machine" and now >we get to face bradford/reading @ wembley in the semifinals... i can only shout out REMEMBER WIGAN!!!! (last year's FA cup semis = penalty shootout with the mighty championship side) so many times before it loses all effect.

and you know, while i'm a big fan of the path of least resistance..... holy shit man you know, it'd be a nice little =D at the end of an overall technically-disappointing season to pimpslap the scousers and send stevie G off to hollywood on one of his hollywood passes with a little reminder that while we all know love and cherish "that one night in instanbul" hey dude, 2005 only gives you a ~10 year pass if you're the chicago white sox!

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I can't help but laugh at Stevie G.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

no footballers dead on that germanwings plane that crashed in the french alps after leaving barcelona. thank god for that.

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ok so i mulled over making a new thread to leave behind my TLDR shit that's been offputting to say the least, but i didnt want to marginalize the other contributions to the thread so i edited out something like 90% of my bullshit (leaving in important stuff like spanish moustached giroud) and will not go that hardcore blah blah blah in the future. let's make this count!

---

it's an international break, so after all the wank off shit like brazil vs france and TGSTEL AKA LORD BENDTNER GOING FOR THE TRIPLE AGAINST AMERICA (WOO!!!!) we finally get to the most important thing in this international break that will shape and guide the course of world football for the next 2-15 years: THE HARRY KANE ERA FINALLY BEGINS TODAY VS LITHUANIA.

what can i say about harry kane that hasn't been said already? how about "i bet he shits chocolate brownies with enough nutrients to singlehandedly nurse a sick child back to good health" ??? real madrid has undoubtedly phoned up levy and the boys to remind them of their "tactical partnership" for when it's time to ditch benzema this season.

euro 2016 is in the bag. i approximate england's gonna have to put an extra 1-2 lions alongside the usual 3 on their kits because harry kane is worth no less than 2 lions on his own. he doesn't just score goals, he decides games.

and it's his time now. let's all bask in the glory!

oh yeah and after all this bullshit it's arsenal vs the scousers at 645am next saturday for a likely FA cup final preview (except you lot will have the slipster and the pokemon back for the FA cup final)

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Anybody who goes out of their way to the soccer forum to be offended by your thoughts has bigger issues than whatever they'd perceive you to have.

Palace 11 points off the drop with 8 games to go. I think if we fired our manager every month we'd make the Champions League.

i'm not saying that you were necessarily offended, i am saying that i was beyond excessive in babbling up a storm... and seeing as i only started watching football-proper in the 12-13 season, i was clearly compensating for my relative-n00b status to try and show off that i belong here. i ended up offending myself and couldn't bear to load up the pages i babbled on; while i technically wrote some pretty good shit cuz i'm not an idiot and i genuinely love the addition of football-proper to my life, still "this isn't nam... there are rules here" (unwritten or otherwise) and if i wanna go that longform i can go start up a blog somewhere. this thread is to hang out with you guys not go on long screeds and missives about my opinion/s.

AHEM.

you guys are gonna be alright cuz pardew has done a hell of a job managing this season. i remember newcastle being one of the early season darlings alongside southampton and west ham and even swansea to an extent, and SACK PARDEW!!!! quickly became uhhh.... viva pardew!!! and then pardew stuck up for himself and he's back home @ selhurst IMO.

hey KD, how has saNOGOALS looked for you guys? have you gotten the vibe that he looks the part and does a hawk-ism and makes himself "dangerous" in the box, but like.... you know in the porno industry that is european football you dont make the big bucks unless you can provide the money shot.... that is unless you're mesut ozil, of course.

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oh also KD, i think i've either outright called or at least referred to you as a scouser b4. my bad dude.... to give you an idea i was talking with a guy at a shop yesterday who self-identified as a "scouser" and he told me that city's gonna win the league and they're gonna finish "at least 4th" and "definitely above you lot (arsenal)"

it is truly unfathomable and even worse than any 25000 word post i could write to mistakenly call someone a scouser. it shant happen again!

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Outstanding!

I'm an Ozil fan. I think he just needs to go back home and he'll be alright.