Sadly this will make Patrick Kane a folk hero amongst the Wrigleyville crowd. "Bro! Kane rapes girls too! Let's try some of his moves at Barleycorn tonight. SHOWTIME BABY ONE GOAL"

Where is Kane? Maybe the police are waiting for the media to leave and they're gonna bring him in late tonight. Maybe past midnight.

My god CH is vomiting all over this thread.

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Exactly why my NFL buzz is waning every year. Just can't take it after a while.

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-- source

Because of the "spoiled rich white guys on their worst behavior" ??

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Any new information? Haven't been following.

What? Who did what now?

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Did you expect anything else.

This is his dream scenario for an offseason.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Can you imagine if this would of been Toews?

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I don't think he's saying it's anything new. He's just saying the sex (sometimes with teammates wives), cocaine and booze is what the Hawks do. Now rape. And Curious Hair is turned off by it. And they get away with it cuz they're white.

It will be years from now. But one day somebody is gonna write a book on this Hawks dynasty. "The true Hollywood Story". The stories we don't know will be more shocking than those we do know.

These boys are out of control. But they win.

He would be orgasming all over the screen in that case.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Yes, I'm ecstatic that one of our best players and one of the best athletes in Chicago may be guilty of a very heinous crime. It really made my day!

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But nobody really knows the heinous crime, and even then I don't know if it's heinous.

In your mind he is already guilty. But it does not really matter anyways? You have been clear, with the cap issues the run for them is over, so might as well move on from Kane now.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

We know he's going to be charged with rape.

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But should he be? Technically yes/maybe otherwise no.

wow.... this joke fails on every conceivable level... prolly the inconceivable ones too. therefore it doesn't just suck in every way possible, it also sucks in every way impossible too. it's analogous like... finity : infinity :: shitty-joke : this joke [i think i got the colon syntax right.... right?] and yeah. i had to just stop and pay tribute to this joke's magnanimous stead of sheer and utter sucktitude.

it's actually an amazing post in much the say way that MST3K doing a joe don baker marathon is all about "awesome movies" you know?

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From Sports Mockery:

According to a source close to the situation, the Patrick Kane rape case has some very interesting details attached to it. A Buffalo cop discussed the situation with a Hamberg cop and that information has since circulated around the area to some of the local residents. This is only a rumor, but the truth is yet to come out so there’s no telling if it’s true or not.

Here’s the story being told:

Patrick Kane met a girl at Evans Beach in Angola at a place called Mickey Rats. They went back to his house on Saturday night. On Sunday morning, the girl’s parents made her go get a rape kit done and blood drawn. She claims a drug/roofy was slipped into her drink.

The cops went to Kane’s residence on Sunday night and found pills along with a video during the search. The alleged victim’s dad is a lawyer. Kane has cancelled his appearance at Imperial Pizza for this weekend and a few other bars downtown.

Mickey Rats is known for underage drinkers, girl’s age is a problem for Kane and the bar. Still not clear how old she is though.

This is a story we heard from a source close to the situation. Yes, the rumors are a bit exhausting at this point, but this is all we have to go off of until the official investigation is announced.

THIS IS ONLY A RUMOR.

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oh did that develop during the late-afternoon/early-evening.... he's (all-but?) officially going to get charged with rape?

do you think the local news is going to give us a maudlin "person on the street" interview with some trailer-park-gamey type chick burning a KANERRRRR jersey? i seem to remember some local jamoche (when i right click for spell check it offers up "moocher" --- huh?) burning a bears jersey of i-forget-who making NBC5 news or something.

so yeah do we get jane 6-pack burning a KANER jersey on local news soon?

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ok man.... devil's advocate here: is it entirely possible that some (underage?) chick went out to the bar, met patrick kane.... got fucked up with him and was totally DTF and then went back to his place with him. there they got fucked up / drugged up / etc and had some glorious intoxicated sex, to which she woke up with fuzzy memories in the morning. she tells her parents that she got with PATRICK KANE OF YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPION CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS!!!! (ONE GOAL.) and they think "hey we might be able to get a few bucks off of this?" and therefore they go and pursue the rape kit and etc ---- cuz while idk what a rape kit is off the top of my head (and my guess is that it's something that looks for "rough sex" because the thought would be that a rape is often forced sex therefore there is an abnormal amount of force used during coitus and therefore more damage around the vaginal region) ---- this way they're setting themselves up with as much stuff in their corner as they can with the ultimate hopes being some sort of a 6-7 (8?) figure payoff down the road?

again, i'm playing devil's advocate because without passing judgment on the girl and/or her family here, i still think when you're dealing with multi-millionaire pro athletes in today's twisted world anything is possible. i know we've all essentially passed judgment on KANERRRRRR given his history and proclivities..... but when it comes to pro athletes in rape cases i can honestly see it both ways where it's like "these guys are high-profile super-visible targets (ok it's the NHL so maybe just kinda-visible =) for anyone who wants to get a quick buck from a likely-quick lay, but then again at the same time i can see an entitled professional athlete used to having their way 98% of the time end up in a situation where they're all fucked up (intoxicated) like I'M PATRICK FUCKING KANE AND YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME and since they're used to getting so much pussy thrown at them they just kind of assume every chick wants them cuz they're famous and they "make it happen"

still tho, knowing i'm leaving myself open to people who wanna scorn me like CMON SINI..... re: not necessarily 100.0% "listening and believing" here, is it entirely possiible that this sex was consensual all the way along the board and because this chick got massively fucked up with KANERRRR and went home to her parents about it that they smelled $$$ and decided to try and get that 6-8 figure settlement?

i guess if the drugs found @ his house are rohypnol and/or str8up cosby-caliber "knock em out" drugs that's pretty damning... unless there's a subculture of ppl who ab/use rohypnol to get super fucked up cuz if it's a knockout drug odds are if you can do just enough to get fully knocked out you'll get pretty fucked up on a realtively small amount of drug, which must be one hell of a high.

TLDR = what are the chances that this is a scheme on the girl/family's end to get a 6-8 figure settlement? yes i know "listen and believe" comes first b4 anything else, but the ? still has to be asked... is this a possibility here?

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Her Dad is a lawyer? Not good for Kaner. What a complete idiot and scumbag. Guy could get supermodels/actresses and he's raping a high school girl in suburban Buffalo? He's slipping her a roofy? He's going to jail and nobody should shed a tear for him.

Supermodels? Pump the brakes. He looks like a rat. A rat with lots of money, of course.

He had a girlfriend (of age, too, good for him) in Chicago who was said to be normal and a stabilizing force for Kane. Not stabilizing enough if he has to go date-rape teen girls in shitty-ass Buffalo. It's just about power with people like him, being able to run roughshod over other people because he can.

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He makes 10 million a year. Ok. Maybe not a super model. But he could have got an average model. The ones that don't make millions. Like April Rose for example. Or just hot women that are over 18. He certainly could have gotten that. He could just hit the strip clubs and get one of those girls. Why doesn't he just do that.

Anyway, the inmates are gonna do bad things to him in jail.

and this is why i find the core tenets of "social justice" scary. whether or not people realize it, social justice inherently aims to get rid of that whole "due process" thing because A SCUMBAG LIKE KANER MIGHT WALK IF HE BEATS THE CASE!!!!! therefore social justice is there to make sure NOBODY gets away with anything that the public really really wants them to go down for, and they use their sheer #s and #hasntags and omnipresence to unleash thoughtful/reasonable JUSTICE upon those people who deserve it.

seriously, when's the last time you've seen a mob with pitchforks and torches be wrong about anything? they're fully rational and reasonable people who are in no way misled by any sort of agenda or dis/mis-information... they're the collective will of the society at large! and we're not going to sit here and watch these people get away with CRIMES simply because of this bullshit "legal system" chock full of that "innocent until proven guilty" nonsense. it's 2015 people.... wake up and smell the iRoses! you've seen the instagrams! you've read the tweets! we no longer let criminals get away with it via the "innocent until proven guilty" folly... now it's about a common sense "guilty because we all know they're guilty" paradigm. duh.

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btw, as a (much needed =) addendum to what i just wrote.... don't forget that dan bernstein Himself once trumpeted one of the aspects of "social justice" that i find scary.... i forget which story/case it was, but he said something like "yeah he might beat the case... but that doesn't mean he gets to work at a good job ever again" --- and of course dan was referring to being in the NFL or NBA or something, but still that mindset of "well ok even if the courts find a guilty man innocent WE THE PEOPLE can still step up and effectively end/ruin his life" = totally scary shit, especially in a case like this where it's patrick kane so everyone knows he did it and furthermore the only surprise is that he hasn't got caught up the other 5-10+ times he's done it before.

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Victim blaming alert!!! If she's underage maybe lawyer daddy should have explained to her its illegal for her to be in bars period, let alone being served alcohol. Also whats a rape kit going to prove? If it went down the way it's being alleged (roofies,drugs,alcohol) is there anyway to prove it wasnt consensual? Isn't it going to come down to he said/ she said?

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Careful, rogue, you're flirting with being called a pedophile by Scorehead or that dipshit who calls in to all the radio shows. If she's less than 18, she isn't capable of consent. In fact, she didn't even consent to going into the bar. She is an innocent fawn who was lured by the siren song of cold macrobrews and rich hockey players.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I predict this is going to go the way of Drew Doughty. No charges filed along with a sizeable check being penned.

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Team Cutler.