www.myspace.com/handycaptain

You'll wanna jump on board with the Odds Conquistador!

Is that you in the pic ?

What's your methodology Captain? Or are you just throwing shit against a wall and hoping it'll stick? And why are you using dummy lines? Houston/Cleveland was 3.5 just about everywhere. The half-point didn't matter this time, but that's an important half point.

Where are you on units for the season? Or do you not really care about making money and these are just kinda sorta throwing things out? And how did you do last season? After all, you're still within the range where all this could just be random deviation from .500 and you just haven't regressed to the mean yet.

Why do you use words like "lock" in your vlog, when any experienced bettor knows that no such thing exists (how many guys looking to make a 4% investment on the Pats tonight were sweating awfully hard until 3:00 was left in the game? For that matter, why is your vlog so gimmicky and cheesy? If you're so awash in money, as your NFL preview says, why can't you afford decent production values or, for that matter, your own URL? Or decent clothes? Or a razor?

In other words, why should I have any confidence that you'll do as well in weeks 13-17 as you did in weeks 4-11 (BTW, where are those week 1-3 picks?) You're the team-picking equivalent of pets.com; why should I "jump on board" (to use a nautical metaphor) just when you are most in danger of sinking? And why not just stick with either my short-term 75% guy or my long-term 55% guy?

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Fire Phil Emery

I'm in a bitter mood tonight. And there aren't nearly enough angry emoticons. Why are all the emoticons so goddamned cheerful.

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Fire Phil Emery

Decent production values? Didn't you see all those flames, explosions and clashing helmet graphics?!?!? As if my record didn't speak for itself, I don't know how you can't take me seriously after viewing my mind blowing vlog. Does your guy have explosions or a logo as good as mine?

And why such hurtful words about my clothes? Don't get your Zubaz panties in bunch! Hey guy, I'm out here on a ship in the middle of the ocean. Sorry if I'm a little haggard for your tastes. I know guys on sports message boards are generally a chic sophisticated crowd.

And thanks for the backhanded compliment. . .I just logged on to pets.com and it is a great site. Nice layout. . .good colors. And this weekend they're offering a special for $8.95. . .your pet can have his or her photo taken with "Santa Claws" and it comes with an exclusive holiday frame! Thanks for the tip!

dude, you need to join the troll party thread over in the general discussion forum.

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Where did the Handy Captain go? Did his ship sink ?

6-9-1 last week.

That doesn't keep the crew happy.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded